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My little Fanfic chapter one (PG)

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Topaz4293

PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:21 pm
Koura Liibeck: Part One

Human Days.

She had always Been a little off. People teased her for it, and avoided her on the street. Koura Lived in Neo Arcadia in Sector Phi7 on Ausi Bolevard. It use to be a very nice place to live but it soon became a crime infested Rat hole. That is, Untill X comissioned Battle reploids to each sector. Phi7 was still a long ways from it's former glory but it was getting better. and For all of his hard Work Koura idolized him. This is what caused her trouble though. Reploids are seen as Extensons of the recent extremist government and therefore an instant alianation for having anything to do with them. But that was her crime, and Her difference from the other people was her punishment. Through it all though the Small scale shun was more of a reprive to her. She had never got along well with people anyway. Although dispite her Hate for her fellow Humans she could never leave one in need, so she helped people as a nameless hero by doing the small things like giveing up her Taxi, a bus seat, or even Finding the owner to a misplaced dolly.

"Koura Your going to be late for School, Your toast is ready now get dressed and go." her mom yelled up the Glass stairs. She woke with a start and the Rain pounded on her window and her moms shout reached her ears. She turned her Emerald eyes to the window and then Lazily to the clock. 7:30am. Koura tossed her PJ's in the corner which she Traded for her Yellow dress with brown checkers along the seems. She kicked off her slipers and Grabed her Brown boots and Rain hat with red ribbons. She kicked the door open and slid down the metal railing into the kitchen. Grabed her bag on the table and her toast.
"love you mom" she said as she gave her mom a hug and dashed out the door wit ha piece of toast in her mouth as she struggles with her umbrella which she dubbed as vain seeing at it refused to open since she spilled glue on it from her science project a few weeks ago.

she ran down a short alley through a few puddles scattering some alley cats in the process and rounded the corrner to see the Clock tower on the school strike 8pm.
"crap Todays the final for the semester too" she said to her self quietly "Would it have killed you to Wake me a little sooner." She ran down the last strech of road and dashed into her 1st period class, Completely out of breath.
"gald you decided to Join us Ms. Liibeck" Said the teacher with a hint of anger in his voice which imediately soffened upon his next Phrase. " Number 2 pencils only, I sure hoped you all studied because this will count for a forth of your Semester grade. Not that the English Language is particularly hard to grasp when you've been learning it since birth but that aside this is required so Pass. I wouldn't want to see you all again now would I?" he said the last bit with a chuckle. Mr. Morgandy was always sarcastic but he was a good teacher regardless. Making the first period easier or all the students lucky enough to have him then.

Midway through the exam the intercom chimed in and an unfamiliar voice came through.
"Attention citizens of Neo Arcadia, It greatly greives me to announce that Master X has been taken and Burtaly slaughtered by a red armored Maverick. By order of Master X's will I, Dr. Weil, am now the new leader of Neo Arcadia. I assure you there will be no dramatic changes and that I will wipe out the Maverick scum that selfishly took our Precious leader's Life. That is all Have a good day."

The Whole city seemed to hold it's breath. Mumble of displeasure and mild joy filled the space after it. People began checking their intercoms to make sure it wasn't a Hoax of some sort. But Koura checked the window instead and she could have sword that on the Capital Building in Sector Alpha1 She could see a huge grin on the face of Weil.
"enough of this childeren the message was no hoax. Please finish your test and go home, I just recived an Email that school is closed early." Mr. Morgandy looked solemn as he sat behind his desk and twidled his Thumbs. That day Koura took the long way home instead cutting through Phi Park.

The weeks passed and there was nothing anyone could do to stop Wiel. He didn't hold true to his words. Almost all of the work force became Military related, All wages were cut to pay for the Creation of Weapons, and all Koura could do was watch. Her father was no exeption to the new Order. He was forced to become a soilder which now paied better than his previous job as a Solar Technitian.
"Koura," her mother said quietly at dinner one night. "your father and I have been thinking...there's a caravan coming and we have just enough money to send you with it, Out of the city and out of harms way."
"I can't Leave you mom" She said seting her soup Bowl down.
"we're not giving you a choice Koura," her father stated "we already bought the ticket for the passage. You'll be leaveing for Area Zero."
"your comming too right' Koura said Hopeful. Her parents only shook their heads.
"We can only afford it for you" her mother said. a tear trickled down her face as Koura looked in Horror. But she didn't want their wishes to be for nothing. That night she packed all of her belongings and cried herself to sleep. Her hero had been a Hoax afteral, because He was just as helpless as the rest.

Next Chapter: Refuge Days (Tomorrow Sometime)  
PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:51 pm
Hmm...

It all sounds good so far 3nodding

Just a few minor allocations of punctuation here and there, but it sounds pretty solid.
 

TtheHero

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Topaz4293

PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:02 am
TEASER: this is one of the charecters from Next chapter.

Introducing Piro Jaques User Image Note he's Younger than he looks on Gaia he's only 7 Also there's one difference that he'll have in the story that I didn't add on the Image. Tune in to find out (I'm getting to into this aren't I?)  
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:00 am
There are a lot of spelling and grammatical errors, like randomly capitalized letters, using 'your' instead of 'you're', and it is somewhat hard to follow. The announcement of X's death is awkward, at best. And the teacher didn't just have them go straight home? It's odd. And if her father became a soldier and it paid better, why can they only afford to send her? There are just a lot of odd things going there.  

The Betgirl

Quotable Genius


Topaz4293

PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:05 am
The Betman
There are a lot of spelling and grammatical errors, like randomly capitalized letters, using 'your' instead of 'you're', and it is somewhat hard to follow. The announcement of X's death is awkward, at best. And the teacher didn't just have them go straight home? It's odd. And if her father became a soldier and it paid better, why can they only afford to send her? There are just a lot of odd things going there.
It's because I'm not useing word because I can't get it to work on my comp, I'm haveing to use Notepad which is a piece of crap. and though Her fathers job paied well it didn't pay that well. Most of the money was being used for the military growth which I stated earlier in the chapter. Thanks though. and all the random events happen for a reason they foreshadow things that are coming in the next chapter.  
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:08 am
Topaz4293
The Betman
There are a lot of spelling and grammatical errors, like randomly capitalized letters, using 'your' instead of 'you're', and it is somewhat hard to follow. The announcement of X's death is awkward, at best. And the teacher didn't just have them go straight home? It's odd. And if her father became a soldier and it paid better, why can they only afford to send her? There are just a lot of odd things going there.
It's because I'm not useing word because I can't get it to work on my comp, I'm haveing to use Notepad which is a piece of crap. and though Her fathers job paied well it didn't pay that well. Most of the money was being used for the military growth which I stated earlier in the chapter. Thanks though. and all the random events happen for a reason they foreshadow things that are coming in the next chapter.
Well when you say that someone's job pays better, it usually means that they can afford more; I'm just pointing out that it's an oddity. Whether money is being used for military growth or not doesn't matter if one has personal income, you know?  

The Betgirl

Quotable Genius


Topaz4293

PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:22 am
Refuge Days

Koura threw her Bag onto the luggage truck still very solemn and quiet. Her Dark hair blew in the wind of the Main higway leading out of Sector Phi7 and into Zeta10 and Ultimately the exit of the City. the Corridor between the Skyscrapers was always gusty because it was one of the few places the wind had time to pick up speed before hiting the side of a building.
"do you have everything Miss?" asked one of the Caravan Workers. Koura only nodded and the only sign of definate movement was her Ribbons tracing the path of the motion. She sat on the tailgate of One of the Passenger vans and kicked the dust off of her Knee-Highs before finding a seat next to a small poor looking kid in a Puffed hat with a single button on it. A pair of Goggles Sat on the bill of his hat and he wore a dusty trench coat over his shaby tee sirt and holey jeans.
"Hi my name is Piro Jaques" he said extending his hand. He had a thick French accent and couldn't be any older than 7. Seeing a kid like him made you think how far shouth the other Sectors could have fallen. Koura wearly shook his hand and forced a smile. "were friends now right...er...what was your name?" he said
"Koura Liibeck" she said quietly, Piro grined a big Happy grin at her.
"It's ok my folks couldn't come either. we can stick together though right? I don't want to be alone, there's alot of people." Piro Motioned to the Crowded Van.He then clung tightly to Kouras Waist. "You can be Like my Big sister, though I only had an Older brother. he had to Join the Army though so he sent me off." A Smile reached Koura's face as a tear fell down her cheek. She returned the Hug and the van began to move. Prio Had the Window seat and was enjoying seing all the Sector signs fly by. Most people were confined to their Sectors because it was easier to manage that way. the Highways were for supplies only. But it was very early in the morning and there was no one around to tell the Caravan otherwise.

The City limits soon passed and the urban Jungle bacame a desert. Piro looked in odd Facination. He, like many others had never left the City so this was new to him. Koura was no exeption. The dry heat of the desert Bled into the Van. Piro ended up taking off his trench coat as the Heat took it's toll oh him. He no sooner took it off when the van Lurched to a sudden stop. Piro was thrown out of his seat by the impact as were several other members the others were jared in their spots hard.
"is everyone alright" shouted a red haired Girl with shorts on. There was a uniformed Grumble from the crowd. they hurt but they were ok. Koura stumbled out of the Van to see a masive Sand Submersable raising up from the sand and a red armored Reploid Jumping on it with a sword drawn.
"what in the..." Koura was Cut off by a blonde haired girl in a pink dress.
"Don't worry the red one is on our side, we're here to make sure you guys make it to Area Zero safely." She smiled a cheery grin and strode off to talk with the red haired girl who so happened to be the leader of the Caravan. Koura then hopped back into the Back of the Passenger Van to check on Piro. She found him laying on his jacket with his hat blown off, exposing his dark, messy hair.
"Piro are you ok?" she asked shakeing his shoulder, He nodded in response.
"what's going on?" he asked looking at her inquizitively. Koura picked up his hat, Goggles, and coat and took Piro out of the crowded Chaos of the van. Just as the duo looked up the Submersable combusted and lay on the surface of the sand, Totaled. "why would someone send somthing like that?" asked Piro
"Because they want as big of a population back in hell as they can get." said the red haired girl in the kakhi shorts. "By the way I'm Neige, Nice to meet you" she said glanceing at both of them but not offering her hand for a shake. "we'll be in Area Zero shortly I just have to sort somethings out and we'll be on our way, Go get back in the van." Neige walked off to the Blonde girl in the pink dress, there was a bit of a angry look but at the same time a greatful look riding high on her brow. The red Armored reploid stood next to the Blonde girl and for some reason he looked displeased at everything. Koura couldn't help but wonder what His problem was, But it made so little difference to her. Piro and Koura returned to the van and waited departure. Piro was anxious though and had his face to the glass when he heard the conversation that Neige and the Blonde girl were haveing.

"I don't care if He helped us or not, He's still not welcome at our camp. I really don't Give a damn what Wiel trys we have soliders of our own we can fight him off." Neige said angry
"But you must listen to me, He's going to try to destroy it by any means, I don't want to see mass casualties. Especialy When Zero can help prevent it."
"Zero?" Neige looked at her shocked.
"Ceil we need to get going we still need to set up the Transfer station so I can Stop Weil." Said the Red Reploid with a stern tone.
"In a minute Zero I'm not done, you may leave if you choose to though." Zero strode off to the Truck that Ceil had come from. She then turned her attention to Neige who had Just decided ignore them and keep going. Her truck roared to life and the Caravan followed. Area Zero sat on the horizon.

When the got there the soon began work on the camp. Everyone had a Job, be it Pitching tents or cooking meals. The camp was loosley ornganized into age/gender sections. Koura was in the Girls 11-17 tent where as Piro was in the boys 4-10 tent. All kids under the age of 4 were in The daycare tent. A few shakes were also constructed. The medic unit, Study hall, and Meal area were all small, shanty shacks. A few water towers were also built with Guard posts at the top. By the time The work was done it was late at night and everyone turned in. Koura Slept on a small Cot, as did the other refugees. the ground bentathe them was grassy and green. Area Zero was the only port in the storm for these people. And Koura and Piro were in their ranks. Hours passed and the sun slowly be gan to creep up the Horizon when One of the Tendants for the girls tents came in banging a pot and Pan together.
"Everyone on your feet, Time to get up. Lots of work to do so let's make a good day out of this and get it done" Everyone groaned at the Pans Clanged together. But a fain echo of similar events could be heard in the space between contact. Everyone was getting up. Koura stumbled out of bed and threw her sheets on the cot in a pile, where a everyone else made their bed. Koura saw no point seeing at they'd just get messed up again at the end of the day. The tents emptied their contents to the meal hall and Neige stood on one of the tables getting ready to make an anouncement.
"Welcome to Area Zero People" Neige Said as Koura picked at her breakfast Next to Piro. "we've come along ways from the Place we use to call Home. But Home isn't Home anymore. It's changed for the worst and so we're here now." Neige continued there was a mild strain in her voice. "this place is going to be our new Home and so we'll make it such. We're all up early to start puting up permannent enclosures and for those of you who are still technicaly in School the study hall is where you'll report." Niege then hopped off the table and grabed her own breakfast to go eat by the other refugee leaders. Breakfast flew by and Piro and Koura became the closest of friends. They reported to differnt rooms in the Hall. Koura was in the 15-17 room. and Piro was in His respective room. Koura didn't reconize any faces out of all the people there. She began to wonder if she was the only person from Sector Phi7 who escaped. The school day was less organized that what she was use to and so it flew by, Just like the days as Koura and Piro settled into their new sence of normal.

A loud crash broke the silence of a Misty morning. The Camp woke to realize that they were under attack. Koura looked to see a familiar figure sitting in her tent with an unfamiliar expression. It was the Reploid that Guarded Phi7.
"What was he doing here though" Koura wondered to herself. He glanced over to see Koura stiring and starting to sit up.
"Don't leave the tent." he said in a stern harsh voice. "Under Orders of Master Weil all refugees are not to leave theri tents while Area Zero is being destroyed by our leader Craft." Koura stared blankly at her forgoten heros face.
"well that's a load of Crap I'm checking on my friend and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me." she began to walk out of the tent when a warning shot rang out from the Reploids gun.
"I said stay" He said in a darker tone. Koura then took off running out into the Chaos. Soilders from Area Zero were droping dead left and right as Weils Army of reploids destroyed them with little effort. It was a massacre of the worst kind. The only Beacon of hope for the camp was Zero who had droped in from the cliff above and had begun puting out the fires and destroying the reploids that were killing the Camp members.
"PIRO!" Koura shouted at the top of her lungs. That turned out to be a very bad Idea though becasue the Reploid holding him picked up on Piro's attention being turned to the call. just as Koura rounded the corner to the tent Piro was in she hear a gun c**k.

"you want your little friend miss?" Koura stared at the reploid Holding Piro by his collar. Piro shouted somthing in french at the reploid but he payed no heed. Instead he drop kicked Piro into the side of the cot and aimed hi gun at Koura. "you two kiddies are annoying and causeing me nothing but grief." He glanced at his hand. "I must give you credit though you do Bite hard Pipsqueak." he said examining the bite marks on his hand left by Piro.
"I won't let you Harm my firend I won't" Piro said bravely. Nrmaly he was shy beyond belief But the situation seemed to have made Piro grow up a little. He pulled His goggles down off the brim of his hat and grabbed the Reploids arm that held the Gun. Piro was tossed to the side efortlessly and a shot rang out in kouras direction. it grazed her hair.
"I missed." He cocked his gun again. " I won't this time though." Piro jumped infront of Koura and a shot rang out. Piro's Goggles flew off and hit hat hit the ground as he droped like a lead weight.
"Piro?" Koura shook Piro hopeing he wasn't what she though he was. "PIRO!!" she shouted shakeing him rougher this time. a tear traced her cheek bone and as shee looked up to cuss the Murderer our a sword pierced through the assalilent and the Red oil that was in it splatered Koura's face and dress as the sword began to cut sideways through the Mechanical body of the Reploid. Zero stood on the otherside emotionless and still.

Koura sat next to Piro's Body in the Medic unit. The doctor proded him with his tools hopeing to see if he could be saved. It was already too late though. His pulse had stoped and he was already as cold as the ground he fell on. The medic shook his head.
"I'm so sorry..." he said as he went to tend to other victims of the events. " he places a white cloth over Piro and walked off. Koura began to cry, the tears that hit the stains on her dress caused the Oil to expand and turn her dress a slight hue of orange. Ceil and Zero walked into the tent and Ceil patted Koura on he back.
"I'm sorry about your friend." she said quietly, Zero only looked at the white cloth which had a small red stain now from the hole in Piro's chest.
"I want to stop them..." Koura said quietly as she looked Ceil in the eyes. " I don't want this to repeat. If I may ask, I'd like to Join the resistance." ceil looked down as she tough hard about what her awnser should be. she glanced at Zero who only nodded.
"you may" she said "but keep in mind it'll be hard work."
"I don't mind" Koura awnsered. Ceil only looked to Zero.
"we have work to do now. come with me and I'll show you what your Job will be at the base." Koura followed Ceil to the trailer and the door opneded ominously as Ceil and Zero Walked ahead into the darkness.

Chapter 3: Resistance days, Sometime tonight or tomorrow morning.  
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:37 am
Same problems, Topaz. It was really hard to follow for me, though for others it might not be. It's just a lot going on in a very small amount of space there. You changed location so many times that I couldn't keep up, and I don't understand the setting of the story in the first place. Maybe a glossary or an index of some sorts before the story for those of us who haven't played/read/watched whatever this is a fanfic of?  

The Betgirl

Quotable Genius


Topaz4293

PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:39 am
This will have everything you need to know just search what your confused about and this thing will have a page for it http://megaman.wikia.com/wiki/Mega_Man_Wiki  
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 1:19 pm
Topaz4293
This will have everything you need to know just search what your confused about and this thing will have a page for it http://megaman.wikia.com/wiki/Mega_Man_Wiki
Your writing should be explanation enough. You shouldn't have to link to supplementary information to explain it.  

Allegro


TtheHero

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:54 pm
Hm, Notepad...

Oh if you cannot get MS Word to work, I hear Openoffice is just as good a substitute.

fanfiction.net always has a download link for it.
 
PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 12:00 am
Chapter 3: Resistance days

Koura was worked like a dog. Between Ploting directions on Maps to learning how to fix machines she was in constaint motion. The death of Piro still bothered her.
"Why did it have to be him, He was only 7, Just a kid." she muttered quietly wile sitting in her room in the Trailer. She spun a wrench oh her Left hand out of boredom when it sliped off and slid to the door. A small girl with a Cyber elf Doll stood there. She had come in so silently Koura hadn't noticed untill the wrench fail happened.
"I'm sorry" the girl said in a soft Voice. " Heard you talking and I know you're still upset about what happened To your friend. I just wanted to come and tell you welcome." Koura stared blankly at the girl who was obviosly a Reploid but she wasn't made for battle. Her face was too soft and kind for that line of work. "I'm Allouett by the way." she said shyly.
"Koura Liibeck" Koura awnsered. She then walked over and Picked her tool up off the ground. "I supose I should get back to work now"
"I'm so sorry for distracting you."
"Nah I was just taking a small break." The two looked at eachother for a bit before an alarm went off and all Personel were called to the Main trailer.

"oh good everyone is here" Ceil Said confidently, "Dr. Weil has put into motion the final stage of his plan to Destroy Area Zero. I'm sure most of you recall the brefing on this ealier, if not then listen up" She climbed up to a place where she could point to the screen with a map on it. One of the ones Koura made. "Project Ragnarok had Eight parts to it as you recall. Zero here has stopped every single one of them. This is great and all but He unveiled his Nineth component today however." The screen turned to an Image of an Ominous Space station with a cannon on the end. " currently this is pointing right at Area Zero. we can't transfer Zero to space but we can send him through the Cyberspace to it by use of the Hijacked Transporter we took from Neo Arcadia Sector beta a few hours ago." Everyone murrmered about the plan. Would it work? Would Zero manage to live? somany questions were raised but there was only one awnser. It didn't matter the time was now to act or many lives would be lost.

Transfering Zero to the Cyber space succeeded. The whole Resistance seemed relived. But life has a mean joke of killing Joy and today was no exeption. Craft the reploid that had lead the Attack on Area Zero that had taken Prio's life Hacked the transmission.
"Attention Resistance members. As of today Iwill no longer take orders from Weil. Instead of Aiming at Area Zero as I was told to I have redirected it to Neo Arcadia. The cannon is fully charged and I expect little to no survivors, Weil included." the transmission ended and the Panic began.
"OK people we need to evacuate the City as fast as we can. All resistance members are to evacuate as many sectors as we can. Rouge I need you to get me into the intercom system of Neo arcadia so I can announcethe evacuation.' Ceil said. sweat built up on her brow from pure nervous tension as she made the announcement over the same intercom that Weil had used to announce X's death.

50% evacuation completed and the Cannon fired. Killing civilan and Soilder alike. Koura rushed into the wreakage to look for survivors. As she did a green reploid with Head fins Watched her.
"stupid Human" he scoffed as he followed her. Just as Koura entered the city a smaller blast hit the city. Craft wanted to ensure Weil was dead. The blast through both her and the Reploid following her back. Koura struggled back up to her feet bloody and battered. One of her legs had been broken like a twig. She stumbled through the Flameing streets of Sector Phi7 and she turned down Ausi Bolevard. She ran as best as shee could triping from ehr injury through fire and Debirs injruing herself further. She fell into the closed door of her home and collapsed just as a Gash opened oh her back from a window that fell on her. She keeled over and screamed in pain as the pool of blood expanded around her.
"Pitty," said the green Reploid "I thought you were smarter than this. But look at you, your laying on a porch bleeding out. No one else survived the Blast What makes you think your Parents, Family, or friends would be any exeption." Koura looked him in the eye as the pool darkened from it's growing depth.
"I'm going to die now...aren't I..." Koura said her voice was pained but emotionless at the same time.
"Yes" He awnsered before he picked her up and Kicked the door in. "look" he said calmly as he showed Koura what was left of her home. The stairs were shatterd and her Dad's boot hung from the reminants of the Ceiling fan. a Petie, Bloody hand holding a cooking spoon stuck out from under what was left of the kitchen table. "there's nothing left for you here girl" he said calmly. The reploid then turned on his heel and lleft the building Flying off to the Camp as Koura passed out from blood loss.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?!" Ceil asked Harpuia as he flew into the tent. His armor was Stained red from the bleeding Koura. As he set her on the Cot the dried layer flaked off and fell on the ground. Ceil made a gaging sound but Harpuia was unphased by it.
"get the medic" was all he said. The doctor came around the corrner and looked at Kouras injuries. He shook his head in displeasure.
"she has many broken bones, 3rd degree burns, and has lost too much blood." The medic said gravely "we can't save her." Ceil looked down solemnly.
"It was her own fault, Let her pay the price." Harpuia said Just as a Blue female reploid and a red heavily armored reploid entered the tent. The blue one glanced over at Koura's Dieing form and Whinced. the red one simply took a seat on a nearby bench and listened.
"Now Harpy she was only Trying to save her folks from what I saw."
"she still should have known better Leviathan. Besides it's too late she can't be saved."
"Really then?" Leviathan looked at Harpuia with a Coy smile befoer turning to the medic. "are her Memories and whatnot still intact?"
"I thinks so." he said checking Koura for concussions which she surpisingly didn't have.
"make her a new body then."
"Now Hold on why should we spend the time to save this one girl when we could focus the same amout of resorces and save these people faster" Harpuia gestured to the rest of the Medic Unit.
"we do have enough staff members to save most of these people, the extra effort in saveing her would hardly slow us down." the Medic awnsered. Leviathan smiled and Ceil looked at both.
"what if this isn't the right thing for her?" Ceil asked "what if she want this to be the end?" Leviathan put her hand on Ceils shoulder.
"this girl looks up to the resistance like her family now I'm sure. Are you going to just let her die?"
"No" Leivathan strided off at that point. and the red one got up to follow but Harpuia stoped him.
"I question the wisdom of this act Fefnir. There's so many things that we could use the resorces for but instead we're wasteing it on some Near dead girl."
"let Levi have her fun Harpuia, She needs a friend and if we have to..." Fefnir trailed off as he made a cutting motion and left the tent. The medic stared at Harpuia frightened to procede without his consent.
"well What are you waiting for?! Get to work" Harpuia comanded
"ye-Yes Sir" the Medic replied and began his part of the work. as Harpuia left the tent Koura managed a very quiet "thank you" before passing out yet again.  

Topaz4293

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