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My first story (Haven't finish)

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LilBenDan

PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 3:55 pm


How did i wrote ? Bad ? Tell me if it's bad sweatdrop
_________________________________________________________-

I was a girl without any confidence. This is was my first time. Since I know him, and he changed me... My whole life.. is changed by him.. I always think that i'm a ugly girl. No one will care what happen to me, no one will ever do it. Till this year. When school opened back...
*************************************************************
"School is open again, I so hate school days!" I said
"It's not that bad. At least we can stay away from our parents~" Wendy said
After chatting, we went back to our class. Teacher started to choose class monitor. And the teacher selected him to be the class monitor. But I didn't care about it.
I met many new friends in my class, and Wendy is super popular. She always chatting with others. And I always sit aside and watch, maybe sometimes i'll jealous.
*************************************************************
Till one day, when Wendy chatting with others, A guys came up and chat with me. His name is Kai.
"Wanna chat?" Kai said
I'm like so don't want to talk.
"Whatever." I said.
He sat beside me, and started to chat with me. We chatted for a while. and his best friend came too. His best friend is him..
"Ms.Lim calling you." He said.
And they both went to find Ms.Lim.
Wendy came back and ask me
"What does u both chat about?"She asked.
"Nothing, just some useless topic." I said to her
*************************************************************
After few months... I can't believe Wendy, Kai and him became best friends.
And i so hate him. He always quarrel with me for no reason.
Till one day, Kai said something had stopped him for quarrel with me..
"U like her, right ?"Kai asked him
This made him changed.. He stopped to quarrel with me.
But this also made me uncomfortable. I always bother Wendy after he stopped to quarrel with me.
And i didn't knew that i started to like him..
Every time when a friend call his name, i'll see who is that. Sometimes i'll look at him for no reason.
*************************************************************
It's about April, he started to chat with me but not quarrel...
26th April, that day was my birthday. Wendy and others making a birthday party for me. Wendy told me she didn't invite him. But i wish that she invited him.
That night, Wendy told me she will go by her car and also called me to go with her. But then, she didn't appear. She called me.
"I'm busy at the moment, I called someone to come with u." She said
"Ok, fine. Who's that?" I said
"You'll see later, bye." She said
"Wait! Tell m.." I said
I've been waited for 30 mins..
The "guy" haven't came. When I was going to go back home. The guy came, is him. And i just went into his car and didn't talk a word.
PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 11:19 pm


I'm sure that most people would think this is a good story, however, I'm not one of those people. I don't like the style its in, is it a journal, if its a journal then its not bad, but....even so you should put more stuff into it. like I don't know description...thats if its not a journal. If your just doing it because of "Twilight" then I'm confused. Sorry, if I was rude....

OneWeekRainisu

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 9:37 pm


i don't really like it.it would be better if you wrote it in a different style then what you did.there's also some typos in there,which we all make them so it's not that bad.
PostPosted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 10:01 pm


i hate to breack this to u but it doesn't make any senes your wrote diffrent i think u need to reread this over and fix it that way it makes more senes

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[15]~ Stories ~

 
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