Prologue-no title for the story as of yet

[Azhron 12]

Prologue

Snow fell through the night, muffling the footsteps of the tall, cloaked figure moving along the dimly lit street. The streetlamps, few and far between in this poor neighborhood, were insufficient to fully illuminate the thick, white layer of snow covering the street, and the figure slipped, almost invisible, from snowdrift to shadow to recessed doorway, eyes searching the street signs and addresses as it went.
Finding its target, the shadowy figure slipped under a makeshift plywood awning and, shaking the snow from its broad shoulders, knocked hard on the scratched, chipped paint of the door. With a creak, a sliver of light appeared at the edge of the door, and an eye framed by wrinkles peered suspiciously out into the night.
“Who’s there?” a low, hoarse voice queried from somewhere below the eye.
After a brief pause, the figure responded in a deep, flat voice, “You are Mr. Parkins.”
“Yes, but who-“
“We spoke on the phone.” The tall figure interrupted without inflection, “You have something for sale of value to my… family. I wish to obtain it.”
“Oh, yes, I remember the voice now.” Unfortunately, Parkins thought, wishing he could send this nut job on his way. “Come in, it’s over here.”
The old man scuttled between two shelves of antique dishes and cutlery and began rummaging through a large, overstuffed box containing a collection of various objects encased in scuffed cardboard tubes. The tall man followed him silently.
“Here we are,” Parkins grumbled, pulling one of the tubes free of the box, “want to have a look?” he asked, fervently hoping that the answer would be no.
Turning the tube over in his hands, the man replied, “That will not be necessary. It is the right one.”
“If you say so.” The old man shrugged and turned to show the man to the register. “Can’t remember when I got that one, just found it in the back room a few weeks back. Dunno what it is either. The price on it’s--”
With a strange muffled sound, the life of Lewis Parkins, antique salesman, came to an end.


The police were called by Parkins’ wife the next morning when she found the shop door open and saw Parkins lying in a pool of blood, frosted by a thin layer of snow that had blown in through the open doorway. The investigating officers found no evidence of forced entry or the identity of the killer, and there was no mark on the body apart from the cause of death, a perfectly round hole in the center of the victim’s throat.
On the opposite side of the street, a man stood watching the proceedings. In the folds of his coat, his thumb stroked the surface of the thing that had been in the tube. The thing Parkins had died for.
The man smirked. He turned and walked down the sidewalk, becoming lost in the crowd as though he had never existed.  

[Priestess of Neptune]

Okay, a brief edit:

--The streetlamps, few and far between in this poor neighborhood, were insufficient to fully illuminate the thick, white layer of snow covering the street, - This is illogical: snow absorbs no colour, (which is why it is white), and as such, all of the light that is directed at is reflected, meaning that even if there is little light present, the snow is still very visible.

--the shadowy figure slipped under - this is the second time you've used the word "slipped".

My opinion: This is a good prologue - your hook is good, and enough details are revealed to make this seem realistic in the setting. I see nothing that is weak, but nothing 'jumps out' at me as being very strong, either- with more writing, I might be able to give you a better opinion of where you can improve, and where you are doing well.  

[Trinity of Light]

I honestly like this. It's got murder written all over it. However, I would say it's a bit predictible up until the end. With the first line, I already had deduced the fact that a murder would take place, and even more so when I read how the figure (I assume that will be the main character) seemed to be antisocial. While it might just be me, I can feel a bit of a Jack the Ripper thing going on here. It is, however, once again predictible.

I believe, as well, that more details are needed for the cloaked figure. Perhaps Mr. Parkins saw a small detail of his face. Also, I find the small tube needing more description. This might be your way of building suspense, but adding small descriptive details might make the reader more intrigued when reading. I do like this, but much more details are needed.  

[Priestess of Neptune]

I concur with Ariel about increasing suspense, but I disagree on one specific: the tube. Purposely keeping it as an undefined unknown increases suspense, and if not suspense, then wonder- which is conducive to creating suspense- rather than decreases it, in my opinion.  

[Trinity of Light]

I disagree with Neptune to make the tube more descriptive only because of the highly vague word 'thing' used it to describe what was inside of the tube. It does add suspense, but it also shows lack in vocabulary. : / Either way, you don't want to be to descriptive in it, just enough for the reader to not think of what was inside was a 'thing'. Since it was a 'thing' I believe creature is a better word. It gives the reader a hint but it doesn't disclose much information about why the tube is important with the story.  

[Priestess of Neptune]

I agree with your analysis; - however, if your vocabulary has failed, remember that you may use italics to supersede your impediment, although in this case, the rewording required to make italics function correctly is much more effort than working on diction, as Ariel has stated.

Post-script: I enjoy how fitting the term "the devil's advocate" is in this situation, if one looks at this superficially and stereotypically.