trapped...

[ter_squirrel]

ik ur prolly all sick of hearing this from me, but i have nowhere else to turn, my life keeps falling upsidedown, and idk wat to do, ppl in real life either tell me wat i wanted to avoid or just feel srry for me...ik i won't hear everything i want to hear, and i'm okay with that, but here's my deal: I was having thoughts of suicide, and one of my best friend's moms found out about this and won't let me see my friend unless i get help, i don't just want to ditch my friend like that, but at the same time, getting help would mean that my family would need to know what's going on with me...which would destroy my home life, i'd never be treated the same again, but i believe that i'm over all that depression now, but my friend claims to "know me like a book" and thinks that it will all be fine for a while, then recur...that's happened in the past, but the happiness was never so divine and long lasting, i feel completely at ease now, like a curse has been lifted, but my friend is still worried, and i'm trapped between every aspect of my life...idk wat to do...<=(  

[Celeste_Nightshade]

I would talk to your parents....tell them that YES I have been depressed...but I am better...then if you have to...talk to them about getting on an anti-depressant. I take zoloft and it has helped me COMPLETELY! I am bi-polar and a manic depressant....since taking the zoloft and writing in my diaries. Writing my thoughts, and even turning them into poems and short stories have helped me.

If you want them to know that you have changed then yes....you will have to talk to them...  

[ter_squirrel]

i understand that, but i would still need a councilor or therapist or something in order to see my friend again, her mom's rules.....and i have written many things about my depressed thoughts, which has helped relieve me, but i'm also afraid that if i do get a therapist then it will bring back the feelings of depression cuz they make u talk about that kind of stuff...and i'm not trying to offend u in any way, but all the anti-depressants i've heard about include the risks of higher suicidal thoughts and depression...which wouldn't be good...plus, taking pills for the rest of my life seems like life-support to me, like u need a pill just to live normally, which doesn't sound normal to me at all.....again, no means to offend u, that's just how i've thought of it...  

[Celeste_Nightshade]

That's what I have thought about the pills too...but as of right now..I have stopped taking them for a while...I am pretty good with my mood now that I know the triggers that set off my depression....granted its harder when you are bi polar...bc ANYTHING can set you off....when that happens...I take the zoloft for a week and I am better. I stop taking it and my mood stays for the better. I promise just bc you take it...it doesn't mean you will be on it forever...it's mood stabilizer. Once you feel you are ok to not take it...then stop. It has helped me a lot...and so far this year I haven't taken it. Granted sometimes I have felt that I needed too...but instead have talked it out with friends.

I had a therapist/psychologist back in Germany. That was where I was diagnosed with everything. She helped me a lot...she let me talk about what I wanted and let me get things off my chest....a lot of out sessions were me talking about everything and her just listening. Yes I cried a few times...but that was with issues I had been dealing with for my whole life...BUT I promise....most therapists are pretty good listeners....yes because you TALK about suicidal thoughts...they may tell your parents...BUT It is USUALLY confidential and they CAN'T TELL unless you HAVE harmed yourself. Which from what you have said you haven't...so you are in the clear ^^

((BTW I am going to College to become a psychologist...^^))  

[ter_squirrel]

k, well, that sounds better than i would have expected, but i'm not anything for talking, i either complain to my friends if something is RLLY wigging me out, write about stuff when i'm feeling deep, or i just listen to music to let my emotions flow through other ppls words...i don't talk unless i absolutely HAVE to...and how would u go about getting a therapist/psychologist without ur parents even knowing???  

[Celeste_Nightshade]

Threw the school....especially if there is one at the school. I got one that was appointed by the school and my dad didn't know until I told him. I have problems with my biological father and since I had so many problems with him...she had decided if it was alright with me...that we have a group session...I was able to say anything to him and not get yelled at. Granted he denied A LOT of s**t...but I know what is the truth and what isn't....

Sorry...rant...

But yeah...the school or even I think YMCA or health department...or anywhere that helps teens.  

[ter_squirrel]

o, okay then, thnx for that, i'll be sure to look into that! but i think i'll have to tell my parents anyways, my dad is good enough that i think i should tell him, but my mom has always been kind of...blegh...she called me an idiot cuz of something i didn't tell her about...but yeah, thnx for ur help. any other suggestions?  

[ter_squirrel]

u'know wat, just forget this whole thing!!! i've made my choice now...i'm freaking ditching my "friend" unless she feels like actually acting like my friend and not like she's plotting against me...i was willing to risk my whole family life, just so i could see her, but then she goes talking like a bi**h, i'm done now...she's just leaving me in a hole, now it's up to me to get myself out of it...and i doubt she's gonna be the one helping me based on wat she said...  

[axl the azn boi]

sorry if it may seem like im judging but
ur giving up on her?
ur friend
ur actually giving up on her,so ur going to let this become a twisted fate
instead of a beloved destiny?  

[ter_squirrel]

o, i wrote that when i got rlly angry at her last night...we're kool now...she just doesn't say the roght things a lot of times...  

[axl the azn boi]

oh
well its great that things are going great
or at lest progressing
maybe she probably was as angry and stress as u were at the time
or probably just needed some space

or she prob dont want to hear about to many problems in some one
never good for any one
especially since u have ur very own to worry about but let alone carring the stress of others  

[ter_squirrel]

ik, but somehow our situations flipped around...now she's the one with the f***ed up life and im the one listening to her problems...o.O  

[axl the azn boi]

omg ur serious

damn it should have been like that
i suggest for "her" to just DO something about anything

just do something about it

say oh my parents are like that
ur not the only ones with that problem


but if its.....strange.........ummm
......hmmm my dr.phil powers are starting to wear off right now

come back to me,ill find out about something(welcome back)  

[Cereza Witch]

Aren't that what friends are for? Real friends, not just the ones you say your friends with but leave you hanging later. The saying goes that you can count your friends in one hand... that is true, but then... they change from friends to being a pseudo family... I speak from experience here.