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This is a writer's guild where all can gather for feedback and advice on all mediums of writing. Plus it's a great place for conversation. 

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Here it is: My Scholarship Essay!

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Blond_Sakura

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 10:36 pm
Phew! Finally got it entered. I let my parents read this, and both of them said it was 'very good', which is RARE, and even more rare is that they did not take the red pen to it. Both my parents are quite literate, and my father was nearly as avid a writer when he was a kid as I am now, so him saying "It's very good," is really, really good. Well, it made me happy, anyway. sweatdrop

I hope you guys like it. I have a pretty good chance: last year there were only about 20 entries, and there's six different judges.

Topic: Facing up to Facebook: How does the Traditional Newspaper Survive?


Facebook vs. Newspaper:
The Battle for an Audience




By: Blond_Sakura


There is no denying it: Facebook has taken over the world. Before I knew what hit me, my formally tech savvy head was covered with a sack (I vaguely remember the name Mark*) and I was shunned into a corner of the world labelled as “Old School”. I had no idea what the site was back in 2004 and I had no desire to find out. I hoped and prayed that this ultimate online time waster would pass into the fad genre, but I was dreadfully wrong. It EXPLODED. Msn messenger—the old past time of teenagers—was tossed aside to make room for the behemoth known as facebook to invade our minds and our lives. When the new technology of connecting online life to the cell phone was born, this generation became obsessed with instant communication, instant knowledge, instant entertainment. Instant, instant, instant. The mechanism which digested and swallowed the information—the brain—began to get less and less attention, the labour of reading having been taken away. How does the original standby—the newspaper—survive in this world of technological enslavement? How come, six years later, facebook has not replaced the low tech, but completely portable newspaper? Because literacy still exists. Because there are those who oppose instant knowledge, there are those who believe that real knowledge comes not from memorizing the facts in an instant message, but from being exposed to many different opinions, ideals and ways they are presented. The newspaper has stood the test of time, and perhaps facebook will too, but for completely different reasons.

The newspaper has things that facebook does not and will not ever have. Editorials, opinion columns, worldwide topics and a minimal focus on the entertainment industry are found in plain text, right in front of your face. While on facebook, one has to search past the scandalous photos, the applications, the quizzes and other useless information that users upload to get to the real information; the things that really matter, and when finding it, one can never be sure if this information is true, false, bias, or simply someone’s blog, not a reliable news source at all. This creates a broad stage for false information, rumours and the spread of extreme views. Through blogs hate groups can suddenly become popular amongst even the most benign of users. What drives these people to create such things? Is it boredom? The will to be popular? Or is it real hate? We will never know, for their faces are disguised by the computer screen. The screen is just that, a screen between the digital world where anything goes, and the real world where the rules society created are still thriving—sure, battled, but surviving—the screen thin enough at times to see through, but unless an extremely large effort is put into pulling it down, the screen remains. The newspaper does not have this ‘screen’ of cover, it only has the facts. No flash games to draw your eye, no hate groups to become a fan of, no blogs to confuse your perception of events. Readers of the paper are encouraged and do send in their opinions on the articles submitted, so the prospect of bias is nearly impossible to come by. The community runs the newspaper, instead of a select few ‘bloggers’ who only want their chance to vent their problems to the world, the blog becoming not a news source but a way to gain supporters and readers. The newspaper supports citizens in the community and privacy is never a problem.


Did you know that the creator of facebook—Mark—has the right to use any of the material you post online for his own personal use? You did? And you’re still posting? Well, at least you’re being careful. Or are you? Think about what you’ve posted lately. Pictures from a party? Of your new house? Of your car? Many have made the mistake of posting pictures, not knowing the treasure trove of information they provide. Pictures from that party can land you in serious trouble when you’re searching for a career, that picture of your house can lead a stranger straight to you whether you want them there or not, that picture of your car, with a glimpse of the licence plate can get it stolen. The main difference between facebook and the newspaper is the ability for readers (users) to immediately contact and comment about other readers, creating a constant judging environment. This is not healthy for anyone to be exposed to, let alone our youth. Not to mention the quality of the writing. Did I mention the quality of writing found on facebook? Though the newspaper has the occasional typo (which the reader is not afraid to point out), the quality of writing has not changed over the years, whereas on facebook, the longer the argument, the worse the grammar.

Where has the literacy gone? Surely it hasn’t disappeared, only bunched into one large bundle and moved to a different spot. Facebook does not teach or encourage proper spelling or grammar. Emotes—or emoticons—have become popular in shortening sentences down to a minimum. Large words and phrases are discouraged, as they confuse younger users. In depth conversations are a rarity in facebook: after all, the whole point on why the site was created was to connect people, not necessarily to spread news. However, the newspaper has found itself in contention with facebook, competing for readers, competing for their time. One thing facebook has is a lack of dignity for other readers. The respect the columnist has within the newspaper is not present, and since names do not have to be given, users are free to rant and hate as much as they want, with no worry of getting caught. What users don’t realize is the toll these actions are taking on their lives, especially when facebook is connected to the cell phone. Phone bills have been increasing for years with the help of the internet connection on the phone. On a minute by minute basis, users are charged; the phone bills leak over to debt, and facebook takes a greater grip on our lives.

The better question is not how the newspaper survives, but how facebook survives, even with the large amount of controversy involved, with the high degree of difficulty for finding the correct information, with the right and ability of the owner to take everything you’ve ever held private into public hands. The newspaper still will be utilized as long as facebook comes up short in fairness, dignity and truth.  
PostPosted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:05 am
Sounds good.

There were a few flow problems here and there, but your argument was very compelling! I think you'll be the only person who takes this side so you've got a pretty good chance. lol
 

Spastic waffles
Captain

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Infinite possibilities-A writer's guild

 
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