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FreakingCosmicKid

PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 12:17 am


Okay, do you think a 15-year-old is too young to have a promise ring?

I got one for my birthday from my boyfriend of nearly a year now. My mother completely objects to promise rings because of my age. (She doesn't know the ring i wear is a promise ring)

But here's something that really gets some people: My boyfriend is turning 18 this month. He was 17 when he gave me the ring, and i had just turned 15.

-Do you think a 15-year-old getting a promise ring from a boyfriend who's 3 years older is acceptable?-
PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 1:01 am


Personally, I follow the "1/2 age plus seven" rule, so not really. ninja

However, if the two of you truly love each other, what I think shouldn't matter. To each their own, do what you think/feel is right. 3nodding

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:04 am


Physical age has little to do with maturity. If you are mature enough to understand what a promise ring means and the nature of the things you will have to face as a couple in the years to come, then you are ready for a promise ring.

If you're just exchanging promise rings because it's "so cute" and have fantasies of getting married in ruby slippers while riding a unicorn...then not so much.

Monogamous relationships are both wonderful and stressful. I personally think it's easier to make it work with younger love, because you can grow together over the years. I fell in love with my hubby when I was 17, and so far, overall, it's turned out great. But I'd like to modify that statement with a general disclaimer; we've had our share of troubles that by all rights should have split us up. We made the continuous and conscious decision to always stay together, no matter what. If you can do that, more power to you! heart
PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 5:31 pm


i don't think it's all age when it comes to being mature enough, but at the same time, i acknowledge that there ARE definately reality issues, experience issues, and most importantly, adolescence issues when it comes to these kinds of decisions. the specifics vary from person to person, because different kids hit puberty at different ages. but regardless, you don't need to be wearing promise rings just cause you are dating and think you've found the one. this goes for adults as well as kids.

i personally think that marriage isn't taken seriously enough in the world. it's part of why for the longest time i was of the mindstate that i just wouldn't get married. you see, people marry for convenience, or because they think they are in love. but most of these marriages end quickly because they find out they just arn't compatible.

if people waited till they have been living in the same house for at least a year before they got engaged, then their would be alot fewer divorces in the world.

so, you tell me. are you ready? because unless you are damn certain of it, without the slightest hint of hesitation, you are not ready, and you need to tell your boy that you and he need to wait to wear rings (or whatever binding symbol you use).

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Figuren

PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 2:09 pm


I don't think the age difference is the questionable part. You're both very young (which is the part I'd question).

I don't mean to be cliche and say you're absolutely too young, but you should know that choices you make now won't necessarily be ones you'll want to follow through with at another time. There is just so much that can and will change in these years and the ones that follow. You should realize that no matter how you think you'll feel down the road, things will be different. You'll grow and maybe this decision will be one you want then, but maybe not.

I don't see it as a particularly good idea for someone as young as you. Take some time to decide. If you really do love him, and he you, then it shouldn't be necessary to have a formal declaration.
PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 3:10 pm


I don't see the harm in it. When it comes down to it, all it means is that you're not available.

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FreakingCosmicKid

PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 3:41 pm


This guild has nice members :3

We both have definitely changed and grown during the time we've been together, and gone through hell from our peers in the last year, so we have faced a lot of things together.

I feel that we are ready, we're at about the same maturity level (we both have our immature moments, but who doesn't?)

And i do agree, marriage isn't as respected as it should be. That's why i've told him i don't want to be married until i'm done school. Me, not him. We can date through highschool, but marriage is a no until we can support ourselves and live together.
PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 4:22 pm


Just to sound like a broken record, physica age means nothing. I mean what I hear from those around me is that until you are older than I am you dont know what love is and yet I know I have found it. If you can feel that emotion, you are willing to go through the fire and not be worse off than you went through it. Then you are ready. I wish you the best in this endeavor, and if you ever need people to talk to this guild is perfect for it. This is the place to never feel fully alone.

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ScarletFrost
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 5:47 pm


DattebayoPrincess
This guild has nice members :3

We both have definitely changed and grown during the time we've been together, and gone through hell from our peers in the last year, so we have faced a lot of things together.

I feel that we are ready, we're at about the same maturity level (we both have our immature moments, but who doesn't?)

And i do agree, marriage isn't as respected as it should be. That's why i've told him i don't want to be married until i'm done school. Me, not him. We can date through highschool, but marriage is a no until we can support ourselves and live together.


Honestly and realistically, all marriage is a legal financial alliance for tax purposes. If you live together and have sex, technically you're already married, you're just not getting the state benefits. Your lifestyle is the same as a married couple, your risk of pregnancy the same, and if you're comfortable this way, then nothing should change after you say "I do." Way back when, all that was needed to make a marriage official was the announcement of "doing the deed." Sometimes where legality was an issue, the bloody bedsheets from the woman's first night as wife would be hung outside the window as evidence. Aren't you glad we live in a more enlightened age? ^_^

My point is, waiting until things are "right" or you are "ready" doesn't--and shouldn't--make a difference. My husband and I waited because other people told us to. We knew we wanted to get married, but a lot of people told us to wait until school was done or until we were out of debt or until we had a good job or a nice house. Blah, blah, blah. And then he knocked me up and we were off to Vegas to make it legal. Waiting sounds good, it looks good on paper, but in reality, if you make the choice and the effort to make the marriage work, get married when you can put enough $$ together for a wedding.

Just remember that after the honeymoon is over, every day is a choice to make things work. It doesn't ever get easy. I've been married for 4 years, and while we don't have the same issues we started out with, we do have some others. And I'm sure once we get over those, more things will come up. Still, we are totally in love, and even though we rarely get the "fireworks" that characterized the beginning of our relationship anymore, I'm spending the rest of my life with my best friend. I couldn't be happier. ^_^

I'm not saying get married now, because I don't think you legally can at age 15, even with parental consent. But when you both feel ready, don't put it off.
PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 9:12 pm


DattebayoPrincess
This guild has nice members :3

We both have definitely changed and grown during the time we've been together, and gone through hell from our peers in the last year, so we have faced a lot of things together.

I feel that we are ready, we're at about the same maturity level (we both have our immature moments, but who doesn't?)

And i do agree, marriage isn't as respected as it should be. That's why i've told him i don't want to be married until i'm done school. Me, not him. We can date through highschool, but marriage is a no until we can support ourselves and live together.


Good for you. There is no reason to rush into getting married; especially if you're still in high school. You should definitely live together for a minimum of a year before getting married. In your own apartment or house, not with your (or his) parents.

Vengeful Elegance


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 9:31 pm


My fiance and I met while she was fourteen, I was seventeen. We started going out, then she turned fifteen and not long after that we became "engaged to be engaged," that meaning we would call eachother fiance as soon as she was old enough that people wouldn't give either of us a hard time. I'm now twenty and she is seventeen, we're still happily engaged. We'll be getting married next year just after she turns eighteen.

I see nothing wrong with age, personally. There are limits, I would never let a fourteen year old daughter of mine go out with someone over eighteen, but if two people love each other there is nothing wrong with showing that affection in the form of a ring. If my daughter happens to receive such a ring when she is fourteen, that is fine too, she'll just have to wait until she is eighteen to see that guy.

Aside from personal beliefs on age, there are other possibly more/less important things to consider. Maturity, chemistry, compatibility, etc.

So, to answer simply, if you two care about each other, and I'm guessing you do since you're wearing the ring, don't worry about age. Personally, I would say three years is the limit.
PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:41 pm


I see nothing wrong with the age difference. I mean yes, right now some people will not agree with it but once you are both a little older know one is going to care. But when I was 18 I was dating a 26 year old. Although, our maturity level was equal at that time. I don't think you are too young for a promise ring since it just means that you promise to eventually get engaged. It's not like you two are skipping down the isle right now.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 3:22 am


DattebayoPrincess
This guild has nice members :3

We both have definitely changed and grown during the time we've been together, and gone through hell from our peers in the last year, so we have faced a lot of things together.

I feel that we are ready, we're at about the same maturity level (we both have our immature moments, but who doesn't?)

And i do agree, marriage isn't as respected as it should be. That's why i've told him i don't want to be married until i'm done school. Me, not him. We can date through highschool, but marriage is a no until we can support ourselves and live together.


smile i am glad to hear your answer. it's not so much determined, just certain. which i like. you are making it a point to be as mature as you can. ^_^
PostPosted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 2:05 am


"I don't think I am aloud to give relationship advice..but I say..what ever feels right at the time? Age in a number and as long as you are under 5 years apart it's still legal..."

Ura the rainbow King

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Chieftain Twilight
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 2:07 am


legality depends, Ura. sweatdrop it differs from place to place. here in Florida, it's aywhere from 16-25! mrgreen

YEEE! high school giiirls, high school giiirls~ heart
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