|
|
Hi everyone. I haven't been active...I know. I am determined to be now.
I had a wonderful thing happen to me about two weeks ago. I wanna share it.
I was up about 3 AM Tuesday on the 14th and I was feeling so depressed and lost. I felt as if God was haunting me, trying to tell me something. I felt like I had strayed from the path He put me on. I got my Bible and I began reading passages on atonement, sin, forgiveness, and salvation. I felt so ashamed that I had strayed from that path. I begged Him to forgive me and to rescue me from this darkness. To guide me back to the right path. I prayed asking Him to give me the strength to overcome my weaknesses and failures as a man. I know my heart He loves me, He forgives me. I just pray I can stand in His light as long as I live.
The Lord has given me much strife and hardship.
He choose for my father to die
He choose to give me Aspergers Syndrome
He choose to give me a life of poverty
I do not forsake Him for these things. In fact, I believe it is the hardness of my life that gives me purpose.
I pray to Him now asking for the strength to carry on, to endure and carry out His plan for me. I am willing to live the rest of my life in agony if but only to know what He wants of me.
I think this is selfish, but please pray for me. I believe I can do so much for my fellow man. I believe God has given me the keys to unlock an energy in me to do what I must and can.
It is everything I have endured and the talents He has blessed me with that have given me the beliefs I have.
It is why I hate fighting, war, death, pain, agony, loss, suffering. I cannot stand idly while someone needs help. I have always tried to be charitable.
It is why I am so strong about helping others better themselves. And why I want to help so many any way I can.
It is why I feel the pain others feel. I dunno how I do, but I do.
I ask only that in return for whatever happens, you pray for me, and everyone.
Pray.
"Dear Lord, I ask you show me the path you have made for me. I ask that you at the very least tell me why I am here on this Earth. Even if I have to suffer the rest of my life in payment of that knowledge, I would gladly accept it. Please Lord, help me better myself and walk with you again. These are the times that you have carried me...now Lord, help me walk again. Please. I beg you to forgive me for my sins, and to take me once again into your flock. I beg and lay my soul to bare at your throne in Heaven to judge me as worthy of your love. I ask again that you save me from my self and Sin. You did once before, and while I know salvation is not lost, I feel as if I am unworthy of it. Please God, tell me if I am worthy again! I want to be with you in Heaven for all eternity! Forgive me Lord! For I have sinned, and will sin all my life. I ask that when I die, you have the infinite mercy to forgive me and judge me fairly. In Jesus Holy Name, Amen."
|
|
Reply
