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Tonberry Crunch

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 3:43 am
This was my assignment for Creative Writing. No basic guidelines, other than write a short story. (Sorry about the tarded paragraphing D: )

The Dread Mind

The speeding car screeched as the panicked driver slammed on the brakes. Through green eyes the driver looked through the mirror to see whatever it was behind him. Sweat dripped from his brow and he was breathing heavily. The dark forest trail left no moonlight through the thicket of branches and leaves. Dawn was just around the corner and the man was seemingly awaiting the sun. That’s when what he was running from returned.
A massive creature of darkness and mended flesh, crawling on the road with no lower body. He accelerated along the path, in a desperate attempt to escape. He could see the sun start to rise; it’s light purifying of the evil. The creature disgustingly crawled to the car, faster and faster. The sun was now fully risen, it’s light bleeding through the branches. The creature continued to give chase.
He had ignored the signs of a sharp turn ahead in his panic. Traveling too fast, he failed to make the turn and careened off the side of the cliff. The creature looked down at the wreck, and then dissipated away, leaving no evidence of its existence.
The man awoke in the crashed car, wedged between two large trees. He was amazed to be alive. He was certain the car wouldn’t run again. The front of the vehicle was crushed from the fall. He was thankful that one of the back doors was unblocked and in tact. He noticed his leg was in pain, which slammed into the steering wheel upon impact.
He saw his wallet in the passenger seat, amidst the broken glass of the shattered window. He opened it up to see his driver’s license. He knew he’d have to explain why his car is stuck in the trees. The portrait was somewhat recent, but he has changed since then. His hair is a bit longer now, brushed to the side of his ears. A faded brown color, aged but still young. The name read “VINCENT EMERICHE” across the card. He closed and pocketed his wallet.
Vincent crawled over to the open door in the back seat. He tried to open the door, but it was stuck. He let out a “Damn…” under his breath. He backed up and kicked the door with all the force he could muster. It gave way and opened.
Vincent emerged from the car onto a small stretch of flat land jutting out of the mountainside. There was nowhere to go but down. Even if he climbed back up, he was certain whatever was hunting him up there could still be after him. He sighed at the thought of going down into the forest. His cell phone was destroyed from the crash, probably when his leg hit the steering wheel on impact. He had to get help somehow.
He scanned the forest for any civilization, for a destination. Through the thicket, he saw a road that led to a small town. It wasn’t far away, only a couple of miles, and he could get help there.
Vincent cautiously took a step down the slope and proceeded to slide down. Dirt and leaves kicked up and around his feet as he slid. He always has been excellent at keeping his balance.
He landed on the bottom of the cliff into the forest. The thick trees blocked his sight. Keeping in mind the direction to the road, Vincent began to travel through the forest. He hoped he’d find the road soon.
Vincent stopped to see an abandoned campground midway through the woods. It’s tents still stood and no trace of what happened remained. The fire was just recently put out; the pit was still warm. The faint smell of burnt wood lingered in the air. A splotch of deep red blood was on a nearby fern. Vincent felt uneasy about the situation. He looked around the campsite and found an axe cut halfway into a standing log. He walked towards the axe, when throbbing visions and memories of what stalked him on the road above struck him. He let out a moan and clutched his forehead in pain. The smell of the ashes and smoke seemed intensified as he grabbed the axe out of the undying grip of the log. He wanted to be prepared.
Vincent walked through the path the bloody fern rooted. He was particularly disturbed how the blood transferred onto his jeans. Bewildered, he asked himself “Still wet?!” He felt only worse about investigating the area.
The sun was almost setting. “How long was I unconscious?” Vincent thought to himself. Keeping his mind off the campsite and its’ missing campers calmed him slightly, but it wouldn’t help all that much.
He threw up in his mouth when he found one of the missing people. They were left mutilated in a large pool of blood. The sight was ghastly enough, but the smell of the fresh, open flesh made the situation even more appalling. He looked away from the disgusting mess trying to avoid the whole thing. That’s when he heard a blood thirsty roar.
Vincent’s skin crawled because he recognized the roar. The beast that ran him off the road made the same offensive sound. He readied the axe, deciding he was going to end this nightmare. Once and for all.
He heard the thunderous steps the creature took. It wasn’t far from his location. He didn’t run or seek shelter. He felt the adrenaline pumping through his veins, ready for whatever may come. Then he saw the beast in detail for the first time.
As before, it was a creature that wore a shroud of darkness and consisted of mended flesh. The protruding muscles and organs looked like wounds being ripped open violently. Rancid flesh attracted all the most disgusting scavengers to a horrendous feeding frenzy. Having large claws that drag its legless body around, it crawled closer and closer to Vincent until it drove the claws into the ground for stability, only inches away from him. Its faceless head bore a large cut that functioned as its mouth. It let out a low snarl of distaste at Vincent. Under his breath, Vincent sighed, “I’m not running anymore, this ends now.”
Vincent tightened his grip on the axe and raised it above his head to deliver a crushing blow to the beasts’ head. He swung down with all his might on the creature. Blood spurted from the area struck on the beast, but to no avail. It stood there with the weapon stuck in its head, unphased. It snarled again and raised its massive arm out of the ground and struck Vincent in the side. He was tossed aside like a ragdoll and slammed into a tree. He slipped into unconsciousness again, his last thoughts on how he should have ran, how he was a fool to fight such a beast.
As Vincent lay lifeless, the beast dissipated and disappeared once again. The sound of footsteps was heard getting closer to the scene. Local police arrived to find an unconscious Vincent, the mutilated camper, and a distant blood covered axe. He used his radio to call for backup.
“Dennigan, it’s Mullens. Get backup and an ambulance, we have a live one.” The officer barked into the radio. He gave directions and coordinates to the area. Surveying the scene, he asked to himself “What happened here…?”
The ambulance and police arrived and rushed to the officer. Vincent was put on a stretcher and wheeled into the ambulance. Dennigan ran to Mullens.
“What have we got?” He asked.
“I don’t know. We have a murder, an unconscious man, and a bloody axe. First I guess we interrogate our living man. He doesn’t look like a local.” Mullens answered.
Vincent slowly woke up in a hospital bed. Startled, he jumped back, wondering where he was and how he got there. The bright white light hurt his eyes.
“Ah, you’re awake, Mr. Emeriche. We thought it’d take a couple of hours for you to wake up.” A man Vincent could not see yet said. “ I’m Doctor Rinsky.”
Vincent’s eyes settled and he could see. Rinsky was an aged man, probably in his late forties. His eyes seemed kind, but Vincent was not fooled. The standard stethoscope hung from his neck, above the typical white jacket. In his hands was a clipboard probably holding the patients information.
“Mullens found you unconscious in the woods when looking for the missing campers. Sadly we found them dead nearby you. I want you to tell me what happened.” Rinsky explained to Vincent.
Thoughts of the beast that knocked Vincent unconscious rushed his mind. He wanted to tell Rinsky the truth, but he knew he wouldn’t be believed.
“Well, I was driving through the mountain path, trying to get to a job interview - ”
“A job interview? What job out here?” The doctor interrupted.
“An editor of a local newspaper out here, if it matters. Paid better than the other paper I worked for…” Vincent answered.
“Alright, please continue.” Rinsky insisted.
“Well, on the road, a – a deer jumped out and I swerved to avoid it.” Vincent lied slyly. “I was going too fast and ran off the cliff. I wandered through the forest trying to get help, and then I found the campsite… I don’t remember what happened after that, though.” Vincent continued to lie.
“Well an attacker must have knocked you unconscious after the murder. Must have had a vendetta on the campers but not you.” The doctor said, reassuring Vincent of his safety. “I’ll be on my way, now. I have to report this to Mullens.” With that, the doctor left.
Vincent was lying motionless, ready to sleep when, outside the window, he heard a scratch. He quickly turned to see another creature of darkness scratching the window with a large, clawed finger. And in a second, it disappeared. He stared out the window, filled with fear and paranoia of what’s happening to him.
With his fear rising, Vincent tried to get out of the bed. His legs felt weak, but he could walk. He made his way to the door leaving his room, when the glass window shattered.
The same creature that scratched the window jumped through the window. Vincent was startled and frozen at the moment. There was nothing in his room he could effectively use to defend himself, so he assumed a defensive stance.
The creature was much smaller than the previous beast, only about waist size compared to Vincent. It wore the same shroud of darkness and was a creature of mended flesh as well. A single, blood red eye was all that occupied the head area. Its arms ran all the way down to its feet and each hand had a large, single claw.
Vincent prepared for an assault when the door clicked and the nurse walked in. At that moment, the creature disappeared like the others.
“Mr. Emeriche? I heard glass shatter. What happened?” She asked.
“The – the monster! It – it bro – broke through the window!” Vincent stammered.
“What are you talking about? Your hand is bleeding!” She exclaimed.
“Wha–” Vincent murmured before looking at the bleeding hand with glass shards in it. He stood in disbelief.
“Lay down, something’s not right. I’ll have the doctor in a few minutes.” The nurse said as she walked Vincent to his bed.
“Bu- but the monster… it was made of… people! It jumped through the window! It wasn’t me!” Vincent continued to protest, not caring how insane it sounded. If he could get one believer, one witness…
The nurse left him in the bed, going to get the doctor. She was certain his hand would be fine for the time.
“I’ll be back with Doctor Rinsky.” She told him.
Vincent lied in bed, delirious. Is this thing only happening to him? Every time he encountered a creature, it disappeared shortly after.
The nurse returned with Rinsky, who had a stern expression on his face. He must not take kindly to the destruction of the hospital.
“I see you’ve broken your window. Why would you do that? The people in this hospital work hard. That window will cost – ”
“It wasn’t me! Th - the monster did it!” Vincent interrupted.
“Monsters? Don’t you know what’s real and not? Monsters do not exist.” The doctor said sternly.
“You didn’t see it! I did! It – it was made of… people…” Vincent yelled with strong belief. The nurse spun her finger around her ear, signaling the doctor as if Vincent would not notice. His fingernails dug into his palm on his unscathed hand. The pain set in on his other hand.
“Well, we’ll fix up your hand and then have you examined.” The doctor sighed.
Vincent looked at the stitching in his hand. Rinsky had done a good job on the operation, but Vincent had a bad feeling about being “examined.” He was sure he’d be deemed insane and locked up. He couldn’t let that happen.
In the middle of all this thinking, the doctor returned. He had another aged man with him. He dressed well; he must have made a substantial amount of money.
“Vincent, this is Dr. Leubler. He is a psychologist. He’s here to examine you.” Rinsky told Vincent reassuringly.
Vincent never liked psychologists. They always seem to tell you only what’s wrong with you, and get paid for it.
“Alright, now tell me what you’ve experienced in your time here.” Leubler told Vincent in a stuck up manner.
Vincent wanted to lie, but he realized that wouldn’t get him anywhere as he already told the nurse and Rinsky about the incident in his room. So he told the psychologist everything. He made notes the whole time.
“Thank you, Vincent. I’ll look over my notes and give you diagnosis later.” Leubler said as he pocketed the notepad and stood to leave. Vincent was extremely uncomfortable.
“Diagnosis…” he muttered as he lay in the bed.
“I’ll be waiting for his return, Vincent. I want his results.” Rinsky said as he left the room.
Vincent was alone now. The open window let in a chill. Vincent stood up and went to his clothes and got dressed. He sat down and turned on the television, knowing he can’t leave.
Hours later, late at night, Leubler returned with a hulking brute of a man holding a suitcase.
“Vincent… I have a diagnosis.” The psychologist said sympathetically. Vincent hated how he was acting as if he was a child.
“Well? Spit it out.” Vincent snidely remarked.
“Erm- well it seems you are suffering from a dangerous Schizophrenia. You murdered those campers while suffering from a psychotic episode. You created those creatures you keep talking about. You’re a dangerous psychopath. We’re going to take you to a better place.” Leubler explained while his assistant opened the suitcase with a straight jacket inside.
“No…” Vincent muttered under his breath.
“What was that?” Leubler asked?
“I said no!” Vincent yelled as he rushed the goon and psychologist. Managing to knock both down, he ran down the hall as everything around him transformed.
They all turned into the creatures of darkness, all of them trying to kill him. He dodged claws and spikes that pierced the walls. As he ran down the hallway, he shoved everything he could out of the way. Patients and workers gasped at the sight, and then became the beasts that hunted Vincent. The light flickered on and off as the building shook. He didn’t know where he was going to go or what he was going to do. He just knew that anything would be better than the padded cell.
He burst through the large double doors exiting the hospital, to be greeted by a police barricade. Leubler came prepared.
“We have you surrounded! Surrender now, Emeriche!” Mullens shouted into the megaphone. Knowing he wouldn’t get far in a foot chase with so many police, he raised his arms. He had given up.
Behind the cops, Vincent saw an army of the creatures that attacked him in the hospital. The police looked back in horror as they saw the encroaching army. They shouted in terror as the small beasts deflected bullets and cut them down. Vincent stood in fear. He then remembered what Leubler said. Had he done this? The monsters never killed anyone. Whoever it seems they killed, Vincent killed. Realizing this, his eyes widened and he dropped to his knees. He’s a murderer. A ruthless killer. And on top of that, insane.
He didn’t believe it. He didn’t want to. The cops had been eliminated and the creatures disappeared when their role ended. How could have Vincent killed so many armed officers? He walked slowly to the corpse of Dennigan. His gun lay next to his body. Vincent slowly picked it up. He pressed it against his temple.
“Anything… is better than the padded cell…”
He pulled the trigger.


“What do we have there, doctor?”
“Vincent Emeriche. Schizophrenic killer. Gave up at the police barricade. He just sits in there now. You’d think he was dead.”
In the padded cell was Vincent. Unmoving. Trapped.
 
PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 9:36 am
Very, very nice.

The only thing I could think of for the monster was a re-dead. It was pretty good.

What score did you get?  

ecopper12


l-Kriel-l

PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 9:42 am
Holy hell.
That was awesome.  
PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 11:07 am
Very well done.  

Meta_Fish
Captain


Tonberry Crunch

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 11:58 am
I just turned it in today. 6 pages typed on Word. Single spaced. Now I have to write another short story based on snippets of conversation we wrote earlier. Mine wasn't a choice :c

So instead I chose one that said "Abe Lincoln?"
This one is definitely less serious. Time travel story c:  
PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 12:14 pm
Got it back, A+ 100%  

Tonberry Crunch

7,300 Points
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