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 Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 9:00 pm
So ever since about mid-July I have not been able to eat somethings without complete and udder guilt coming over me. It isn't like the food is like something I'm not allowed to eat.
It just hurts to eat it. Emotionally. And sometimes as far as physically.
Mostly I can't eat things that remind me of my Best friend.
The main reason is because well... She has been getting better after a coma...
So yeah that's pretty much it. .-.
Sorry if I sound kinda well whiny or something but I needed to get the thought off of me without telling someone who knows me. I'm afraid if they know I will get punched...
That has happened before... .-.
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Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 9:18 pm
Punch the ******** back
& why do you feel guilty for eating food because your friend is getting better?
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Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 9:22 pm
I can't~ That ******** is most likely one of my best friends~ And ANOTHER Cripple! DX XD
Because their is a possibility that she will never swallow again.. Plus Slushie-Coffee-like drinks were something she likes A LOT. I used to drink them A LOT. Last time I had one was on a road trip and I didn't finish it... The last one I drank fully was before the whole mess.
I guess I don't really know why...
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Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 9:29 pm
Then instead of feeling guilty.. you should feel blessed.
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ScarletFrost Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 9:35 pm
It sounds like survivor's guilt. Sometimes the friends of cancer survivors get similar feelings, and shave their heads in sympathy. That always confused me--I mean, I can understand it from a "you're not alone in the looking-weird department" point of view, but it also seemed like a slap in the face in a "look, I can grow my hair back and you can't" kind of way. But maybe that's just me. xp
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Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 9:38 pm
I know I should~ I really do!
It is just thinking what I can do.
How I can do every day things she can't.
The fact that I can eat, I can walk, hell I can goto school.
It just kinda gives me a feeling like I shouldn't be the one to be able to do this.
Karma isn't real.
If it was I would have been hurt.
Not her. She wouldn't of had all this bad s**t happen to her.
She would be happily going to school and walking off boys or something.
Not at home talking about the food she might not be able to eat.
The only thing I really hope is that no one ******** around with her when she finally returns to school.
That would just be too much.
Wow... I just got off topic in so many ways. .-. ^^''
And yeah Scarlet... I guess that is what I do... Kind of... I no longer eat lunches... It just... Well I don't really know.
And I know someone who had Cancer who now has a full head of hair~ biggrin
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ScarletFrost Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 10:13 pm
Me too. It's not impossible for them to grow their hair back, it's just when they initially loose it, it's a long road back, ya know? And then there are the terminal cancer patients who will never have a full head of hair again. I don't know, I just feel that over-compensating is almost as insulting as being overly-insensitive. I guess what I'm trying to say is find the balance between letting your friend know you still care, but not tormenting yourself needlessly. *hugs*
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 4:55 pm
Yeah... Mostly it is the losing it that I hear sucks... D:
I know I shouldn't but, if that girl had died, one of my friends would have committed suicide, and I doubt I would be here now... DX
Aw~ Stop it~ It burns~ XD
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