Welcome to Gaia! ::

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. If you are Christian, leave now... You gone? No? Well don't complain when you get offended.

So anyway, for us non-Christians, this is the beginning of a bible of a religion based upon the principals of Christianity. A satire I wrote basically. I know it's stupid and offensive to Christians, but hey, there's no harm in putting it here right? ... Okay wrong but... Whatever. Hope someone likes it.



Intro

This is a book written thousands of years ago made up of silly things people said. Lots of people believe it.


SNES

In the beggining, there was nothing but Dog. Then the Dog barked some words in the human language, and the universe was created in some weird order.
For some reason, Dog decided to make life on one solitary planet. He made some animals like him, and some very different from him, and
then made an animal significantly more intelligent than the other animals. He made this animal be in charge of the other animals. Then Dog decided to make a pretier version that could reproduce with the uglier one. He made it out of a spare rib or something.
Since these 2 animals were so intelligent they could speak a complex language already. So the Dog told them that they could have tasty
snacks, but not the tastiest snack, just for a laugh. Eventually, they did eat the tastiest snack, and Dog was upset that his little joke had come to a conclusion, so he made a funnier joke. He said that the uglier one had to go to the shithole of the planet and never see the prettier one again. Somehow, from here more of these animals were produced.



Say if you want more, don't say if you're offended. You were warned.
Oh, and by the way, I know this bit of the bible in particular isn't accurate according to Christianity at all and is basically just for poetry's sake, and is just saying 'God made the world'. I find it funny that some Christians do take it seriously though.