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Update [May 1/2011]: My prayers have been answered. Scroll down.
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Hello!
I know I don't post here a lot...frankly, I haven't been on gaia up until school has let out, but I have to get something off my chest.
I feel like there has been a falling-out at my church and it has shaken my faith quite a bit.
Like many christians, I feel like the church is my extended family. Everyone knows everyone, and we're all one big happy family dedicated to serving the Lord; however, recently its unity has been shaken. Two of my closest friends in the church and their families have left for other churches either because they didn't agree with some of the sermons, or they felt like the church wasn't giving them anything new or spiritually uplifting. When they left, I was devastated; I was naive to think that nothing could break through our happy family, but it just goes to show that you don't know what you have until it's gone. Then I noticed that the congregation would get a bit smaller every Sunday, and it was disheartening.
Recently, I was given the biggest shock of my life: My friend, the pastor's son, had got his girlfriend pregnant, even though he knew it was a sin to have a baby before wedlock. They had repented of course, not that anyone condemned him or her, actually we all congratulated them. What shocked me more was that the pastor's son had acted like nothing happened; he had gone to church for four months without his girlfriend, knowing she was pregnant, and acted like nothing had happened. I was wondering why his girlfriend never showed up to church anymore...and why his mother kept telling us to pray for their family--now I know why. I had never expected him of all people--someone I knew since I was eight--to actually do that when his father preached about marriage before sex for as long as I can remember. I had looked up to him for so long, we go to the same university, but now we won't because he has to work to support his future family.
I know nobody's perfect, and there is no such thing as a "perfect" church, but sometimes I feel like the church members' imperfections are starting to shake my faith--not that I'm ever going to give up serving the Lord, I love Jesus more than anything--It just feels like our church is falling to pieces; its members are becoming fake and hypocritical. There has even been a falling-out in our own youth group now that quite a few of its members have left. Sometimes I feel like I should move on to another church as well. I feel like I'm in stasis, and it feels like the same sermon is being preached every Sunday. But at the same time I don't want to be a church-hopper. I know that God will be with me wherever I go, but I'm scared to leave because I've been at the same church since I was a kid, I play a crucial role in the music ministry, but most of all I don't want to leave my extended family.
I don't know what to do anymore.
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