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Darkness Dragons Revenge Crew
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 Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 9:06 am
I feel like I'm betraying my boyfriend, Chris, by hanging out with my other guy friend, Mike. I mean, I have other guy friends, but Mike is the only one who make me feel like I'm betraying Chris. It hurts. There is also another guy, Shawn, who I want to be friends with, but his voice CONSTANTLY rings throughout my head. I dont want to be a girlfriend to Mike or Shawn, but just friends.
I also feel like I dont have the same feelings for Chris as I did before. (We dont fight or anything like that.) I think its the dreams Ive been having that are making me feel weird. I have strong feelings towards Mike, but only strong feelings of friendship!!!! But in a dream I had... we were making out. redface And he was holding me close. It was an akward conversation, but Mike said he had a similar dream. (freaky!) He used to like me, but he knows that Chris and I are boyfriend and girlfriend, but we still hang out and stuff.
Is this kind of thing normal???? redface
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Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 10:15 am
It is normal, but you may need to ask yourself questions. For instance, when you are hanging out with Mike, is there any part of you that wants to be closer than just friends? Do you find him to be an attractive guy, and do you think if you hung out more there would be the potential to get closer? Also, maybe you need to address any loss of closeness with your boyfriend, because that could contribute to wandering thoughts. I would not put so much significance into your dreams if it is not a recurring theme that plays out when you are with Mike. You say you feel like you're cheating on your boyfriend though when you hang out with him. Why is that? Is it just because you're close friends? There is nothing wrong with that so long as you are honest about your feelings and he is not making any moves. Maybe you need to discuss any relationship problems between you and your boyfriend (not talking about Mike).
Sorry for all the questions and this long paragraph. I hope it helps
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Darkness Dragons Revenge Crew
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Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 4:21 pm
Blind Blindness It is normal, but you may need to ask yourself questions. For instance, when you are hanging out with Mike, is there any part of you that wants to be closer than just friends? Do you find him to be an attractive guy, and do you think if you hung out more there would be the potential to get closer? Also, maybe you need to address any loss of closeness with your boyfriend, because that could contribute to wandering thoughts. I would not put so much significance into your dreams if it is not a recurring theme that plays out when you are with Mike. You say you feel like you're cheating on your boyfriend though when you hang out with him. Why is that? Is it just because you're close friends? There is nothing wrong with that so long as you are honest about your feelings and he is not making any moves. Maybe you need to discuss any relationship problems between you and your boyfriend (not talking about Mike). Sorry for all the questions and this long paragraph. I hope it helps this does help. im still nervous about talking about it all with Chris. Weve been together for over a year. Mike is very attractive (guilt stabbing me here) and he used to have a crush on me. we never dated, but we always hangs out and he respects that im Chris's girlfriend. Im not sure if this means i like him, but sometimes my heart takes a bit of a leap when he smiles at me or hugs me goodbye (this isnt often we say bye cauz he travels with his dad a lot) but we text each other and he says we should hang out sometime, and I agree. But I still want only Chris.
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 9:23 pm
Darkness Dragons Revenge Blind Blindness It is normal, but you may need to ask yourself questions. For instance, when you are hanging out with Mike, is there any part of you that wants to be closer than just friends? Do you find him to be an attractive guy, and do you think if you hung out more there would be the potential to get closer? Also, maybe you need to address any loss of closeness with your boyfriend, because that could contribute to wandering thoughts. I would not put so much significance into your dreams if it is not a recurring theme that plays out when you are with Mike. You say you feel like you're cheating on your boyfriend though when you hang out with him. Why is that? Is it just because you're close friends? There is nothing wrong with that so long as you are honest about your feelings and he is not making any moves. Maybe you need to discuss any relationship problems between you and your boyfriend (not talking about Mike). Sorry for all the questions and this long paragraph. I hope it helps this does help. im still nervous about talking about it all with Chris. Weve been together for over a year. Mike is very attractive (guilt stabbing me here) and he used to have a crush on me. we never dated, but we always hangs out and he respects that im Chris's girlfriend. Im not sure if this means i like him, but sometimes my heart takes a bit of a leap when he smiles at me or hugs me goodbye (this isnt often we say bye cauz he travels with his dad a lot) but we text each other and he says we should hang out sometime, and I agree. But I still want only Chris. Well, this appears okay I guess....as long as you know that nothing's gonna happen when you're around him. You don't want to lose a valuable friend, but at the same time you want to spare or relieve some of that guilt. If you're pretty confident that it's just a slight crush and it's not going to develop into anything more, then what I see as the main issue is you and Chris's relationship. The fact that you want to talk about any issues with Chris shows that you care about him. I wouldn't necessarily advise telling him about a slight crush that might hurt his feelings, but if it's very distressful to you and you need to get off your chest then do so. After all, what is a future relationship's potential if your boyfriend and you can't handle the rougher spots? It also appears you have other issues to discuss with him besides this situation. It could help your state of mind if you and him are working on a closer relationship, addressing what is missing in it and what could revive the spark. I repeat again, the best thing you can do is be honest with yourself. Take the time to really think about what Mike means to you and what Chris means to you. You don't want to regret something months down the road you could have figured out now. Situations like this might be simple, but they could be complex. Depends on the person. I know this may not ease the guilt, but remember that you're not a bad person and you're doing good by asking for help and wanting to discuss problems with your boyfriend.
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Darkness Dragons Revenge Crew
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Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 12:48 pm
Blind Blindness Darkness Dragons Revenge Blind Blindness It is normal, but you may need to ask yourself questions. For instance, when you are hanging out with Mike, is there any part of you that wants to be closer than just friends? Do you find him to be an attractive guy, and do you think if you hung out more there would be the potential to get closer? Also, maybe you need to address any loss of closeness with your boyfriend, because that could contribute to wandering thoughts. I would not put so much significance into your dreams if it is not a recurring theme that plays out when you are with Mike. You say you feel like you're cheating on your boyfriend though when you hang out with him. Why is that? Is it just because you're close friends? There is nothing wrong with that so long as you are honest about your feelings and he is not making any moves. Maybe you need to discuss any relationship problems between you and your boyfriend (not talking about Mike). Sorry for all the questions and this long paragraph. I hope it helps this does help. im still nervous about talking about it all with Chris. Weve been together for over a year. Mike is very attractive (guilt stabbing me here) and he used to have a crush on me. we never dated, but we always hangs out and he respects that im Chris's girlfriend. Im not sure if this means i like him, but sometimes my heart takes a bit of a leap when he smiles at me or hugs me goodbye (this isnt often we say bye cauz he travels with his dad a lot) but we text each other and he says we should hang out sometime, and I agree. But I still want only Chris. Well, this appears okay I guess....as long as you know that nothing's gonna happen when you're around him. You don't want to lose a valuable friend, but at the same time you want to spare or relieve some of that guilt. If you're pretty confident that it's just a slight crush and it's not going to develop into anything more, then what I see as the main issue is you and Chris's relationship. The fact that you want to talk about any issues with Chris shows that you care about him. I wouldn't necessarily advise telling him about a slight crush that might hurt his feelings, but if it's very distressful to you and you need to get off your chest then do so. After all, what is a future relationship's potential if your boyfriend and you can't handle the rougher spots? It also appears you have other issues to discuss with him besides this situation. It could help your state of mind if you and him are working on a closer relationship, addressing what is missing in it and what could revive the spark. I repeat again, the best thing you can do is be honest with yourself. Take the time to really think about what Mike means to you and what Chris means to you. You don't want to regret something months down the road you could have figured out now. Situations like this might be simple, but they could be complex. Depends on the person. I know this may not ease the guilt, but remember that you're not a bad person and you're doing good by asking for help and wanting to discuss problems with your boyfriend. *sigh* ill try. I just get nervous and when he asks "What were you gonna say?" I just say "I forget." i get nervous and stuff when trying to say that. Thanks for the advise, I'll try it next time we hang out (in a time thats not a date)
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Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 1:53 pm
Darkness Dragons Revenge Blind Blindness Darkness Dragons Revenge Blind Blindness It is normal, but you may need to ask yourself questions. For instance, when you are hanging out with Mike, is there any part of you that wants to be closer than just friends? Do you find him to be an attractive guy, and do you think if you hung out more there would be the potential to get closer? Also, maybe you need to address any loss of closeness with your boyfriend, because that could contribute to wandering thoughts. I would not put so much significance into your dreams if it is not a recurring theme that plays out when you are with Mike. You say you feel like you're cheating on your boyfriend though when you hang out with him. Why is that? Is it just because you're close friends? There is nothing wrong with that so long as you are honest about your feelings and he is not making any moves. Maybe you need to discuss any relationship problems between you and your boyfriend (not talking about Mike). Sorry for all the questions and this long paragraph. I hope it helps this does help. im still nervous about talking about it all with Chris. Weve been together for over a year. Mike is very attractive (guilt stabbing me here) and he used to have a crush on me. we never dated, but we always hangs out and he respects that im Chris's girlfriend. Im not sure if this means i like him, but sometimes my heart takes a bit of a leap when he smiles at me or hugs me goodbye (this isnt often we say bye cauz he travels with his dad a lot) but we text each other and he says we should hang out sometime, and I agree. But I still want only Chris. Well, this appears okay I guess....as long as you know that nothing's gonna happen when you're around him. You don't want to lose a valuable friend, but at the same time you want to spare or relieve some of that guilt. If you're pretty confident that it's just a slight crush and it's not going to develop into anything more, then what I see as the main issue is you and Chris's relationship. The fact that you want to talk about any issues with Chris shows that you care about him. I wouldn't necessarily advise telling him about a slight crush that might hurt his feelings, but if it's very distressful to you and you need to get off your chest then do so. After all, what is a future relationship's potential if your boyfriend and you can't handle the rougher spots? It also appears you have other issues to discuss with him besides this situation. It could help your state of mind if you and him are working on a closer relationship, addressing what is missing in it and what could revive the spark. I repeat again, the best thing you can do is be honest with yourself. Take the time to really think about what Mike means to you and what Chris means to you. You don't want to regret something months down the road you could have figured out now. Situations like this might be simple, but they could be complex. Depends on the person. I know this may not ease the guilt, but remember that you're not a bad person and you're doing good by asking for help and wanting to discuss problems with your boyfriend. *sigh* ill try. I just get nervous and when he asks "What were you gonna say?" I just say "I forget." i get nervous and stuff when trying to say that. Thanks for the advise, I'll try it next time we hang out (in a time thats not a date) Okay, good luck
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