Hidden Emotions

[xXwolfyhybridXx]

I'm just going to be blunt about this and start this out about how I really feel. My junior year my grandfather died and at school I acted like nothing happened. None of my friends noticed my sad eyes at all, and my boyfriend tells me he couldn't even tell. He said I quote, "if I hadn't known about your grandfathers death I would've of never noticed the difference in you at all." unquote. He was the first one I told but I didn't tell any of my friends...well I still haven't told all of them. Few know because of my signature on Gaia read it, and I just hadn't been willing to share than. I am willing now but don't know how to share it. Does anyone have any idea what I should do...?  

[Six Echo 2]

I lost my father a few years back and I hid m emotions for quite awhile but deep down inside It was like a tornado was inside, I was often confused, Upset, Depressed and at times I was a ticking time bomb ready to explode but After realizing that seeing happy families was making me bitter I started to open up about it by having deep conversation with friends and when I felt like we where ready I just said "Hey...have you ever lost someone in your family and just felt like your world was just crashing down?" They would reflect back on their past and say who they lost and start talking about the person they lost. But for me to get over my loss I took a extreme step and talked to someone who works with death and grievance, That person is a Mortician, He explained everything from why people die and personal beliefs and how to be more understanding of death, I actually found closure going to a mortuary and talking to someone who works with the dead. So for you to find that closure just sit down with someone you trust and talk to them 1 on 1 or if need be have a group discussion, Open yourself and poor out those words, Don't hide your emotions because sooner or later it can effect you.  

[Sakura_Moonlight2421]

Depends. From Elementary to High school I was picked on a lot. I bottled my emotions so I wouldn't get into fights no matter how relentless the people were. But hurt me enough and I'll use my emotions against them. Like this one arrogant guy in a Barnes and Noble store. It was summer and all the kids were reading the manga off the shelves and didn't put them away properly. The workers told them to put them away. He goes on to say that, "that you're all babies that need their mommies to pick up after them". I told him he was wrong and I was hurt me emotionally by his comments. He said, "what your going to cry baby" I was crying but only because I was pissed. My brother was there so he tired to calm me down when we went to go buy the mangas we wanted. (Yes I can cry when I'm pissed enough) Told my mother and she was angry and talked to a sales clerk to get him out of there. twisted The clerks didn't want to do it but they told him to leave the store. He never came back. wink He was probably banned because of me but I was happy I stood up for the kids reading there. I'm usually a quiet person too so that was really rare of me to do that.

For me hiding emotions is all apart of how I function, it just depends on the situation and I'll let you know about how I feel. {Sorry its long but I just had to tell that story. I think its been around 6 years since that time in the B&N where I had someone removed from the premises. lol }  

[hobo5573]

it really depends how you handle emotions , like for me opening up is like stabbing my pride then kicking it when its down plus ive spent years bottling emotions and ive learned how to handle things without showing even the slightest sign but i would highly recomend sharing with a close friend or many friends because being bottled up can hurt more than hell and its like a downward spiral especially if its something big.infact i remember losing my great grandmother and i regret not sharing because i would have gone through alot less  

[xXwolfyhybridXx]

Thanks guys for all the information. I've made my decision and I'm going to tell my friends about it. Once I explain why I didn't tell them I think they'll understand better. Most of them don't know about my past either and I don't have a good one really. Only two know about my real past and that's my boyfriend and my BFF. Well all of my girlfriends are my BFF's, but I just kind of spilled everything to this one girl (not going to mention any names). I've actually only told one person this who is my boyfriend, I actually watched my grandfather die in my dreams the exact same day or night, whatever you want to consider it. I knew he was dead before my parents did or my siblings.

Rogue- It already has affected me I cry at least once a month to sleep. I can't sleep anymore like I used to. It's hard to fall asleep but once I do it's hard to wake up and stay up. I have nightmares about my grandfathers death often and zombies (I don't know what they have to do with this actually). I guess once I get this over with I will feel better about it. *shrugs* thanks for replying though. ^.^

Sakura- Sorry that happened to you, but if it was me I would be the one getting kicked out. XD I would of kicked that guy @$$ and got banned myself. It's OK, I liked your example and I'm glad you stood up for those kids. I stand up for people all the time I hate people picking on others its just wrong. When I get mad I have no "feelings". By that I mean I can't feel pain (physical, emotional, or mentally) and when I say something I don't feel sorry for what I did or do. Its weird but its how I function but how I defend myself against others. *shrugs* thanks for replying though. ^.^

Hobo-I've spent the last 16 years hiding my emotions. It doesn't kick down my pride just feels weird. I'm not used to sharing or talking with others, it's still weird to share with my boyfriend and I've been with him for 3 and 1/2 years. :/ My life has gone in a downward spiral already (read Rogue's answer at the beginning). I will talk to my friends about it thanks for replying. ^.^  

[Sakura_Moonlight2421]

sweatdrop Sorry if I didn't really help but yeah when I become emotional I can't control the amount that is released in combination with the other emotions I've hidden away. 3nodding At least we've given you enough confidence to tell your friends. I hope they understand and you'll be strong.  

[Creepy Kuro Neko]

I say do it in a private setting, one where you feel the most comfortable, like a friends house or your own bedroom. That will help a lot. Its never easy talking about these things, once your ready too that's all that matters, but you should hide your feelings either, that will only make things worse. Once you feel its the right time just say it. Remember its not about your friends, its about you.

*Hugs* I am sorry about your grandpa and I hope you feel better soon 3nodding  

[xXwolfyhybridXx]

Creepy Kuro Neko

I say do it in a private setting, one where you feel the most comfortable, like a friends house or your own bedroom. That will help a lot. Its never easy talking about these things, once your ready too that's all that matters, but you should hide your feelings either, that will only make things worse. Once you feel its the right time just say it. Remember its not about your friends, its about you.

*Hugs* I am sorry about your grandpa and I hope you feel better soon 3nodding

I was actually thinking about that making it private and somewhere comfortable that is. Thank you Neko. *huggles you back* It's not your fault, so you don't need to be sorry. Don't worry I will! :3  

[Six Echo 2]

Rogue- It already has affected me I cry at least once a month to sleep. I can't sleep anymore like I used to. It's hard to fall asleep but once I do it's hard to wake up and stay up. I have nightmares about my grandfathers death often and zombies (I don't know what they have to do with this actually). I guess once I get this over with I will feel better about it. *shrugs* thanks for replying though. ^.^

That is just emotional stress, Same thing happened to me  

[xXwolfyhybridXx]

Xx Rogue operativexX

Rogue- It already has affected me I cry at least once a month to sleep. I can't sleep anymore like I used to. It's hard to fall asleep but once I do it's hard to wake up and stay up. I have nightmares about my grandfathers death often and zombies (I don't know what they have to do with this actually). I guess once I get this over with I will feel better about it. *shrugs* thanks for replying though. ^.^

That is just emotional stress, Same thing happened to me

Ah, makes more sense now. XD
Btw nice creepy avi. O.O  

[Six Echo 2]

xXwolfyhybridXx

Xx Rogue operativexX

Rogue- It already has affected me I cry at least once a month to sleep. I can't sleep anymore like I used to. It's hard to fall asleep but once I do it's hard to wake up and stay up. I have nightmares about my grandfathers death often and zombies (I don't know what they have to do with this actually). I guess once I get this over with I will feel better about it. *shrugs* thanks for replying though. ^.^

That is just emotional stress, Same thing happened to me

Ah, makes more sense now. XD
Btw nice creepy avi. O.O

=)

Thank you  

[xXwolfyhybridXx]

Xx Rogue operativexX

xXwolfyhybridXx

Xx Rogue operativexX

Rogue- It already has affected me I cry at least once a month to sleep. I can't sleep anymore like I used to. It's hard to fall asleep but once I do it's hard to wake up and stay up. I have nightmares about my grandfathers death often and zombies (I don't know what they have to do with this actually). I guess once I get this over with I will feel better about it. *shrugs* thanks for replying though. ^.^

That is just emotional stress, Same thing happened to me

Ah, makes more sense now. XD
Btw nice creepy avi. O.O

=)

Thank you

Your welcome. XD  

[somigirl777]

This won't help much but honestly when my mom died I was torn up and none of my friends could tell because I kept a smile on my face and did my school work like usual but at nights when I went home I wrote out letters to each of my best friends explaining to them how much it hurt that they didn't notice anything along with the stress and added emotions from being a 7th grade and loosing your mom, getting your first period and to top off having no one understand you but when I got into a a decent place I gave my friends the letters and they all responded telling me they honestly didn't know what to do besides go about a regular day and just wait for me. Here it has been almost 5 years since I lost my mom and the crying never stops, I still get sad but when ever I get to that hide to myself phase I write out letters to people and wait until a good moment to give it to them, so pretty much just write!  

[somigirl777]

Just please never get to the point where you harm yourself, I have been to that dark place inside myslef where physical pain was the only solution for me to feel pain and honestly I feel like a dumb@$$ here it is my senior year and when I look back at the 7th grade me who cut herself because she couldn't do anything and missed her mom so she went home to cry and feel something I thought,"what would my mom do? How would she handle this what would she tell me....." Then I felt retarded and sought grievence therapy.  

[xXwolfyhybridXx]

somigirl777

This won't help much but honestly when my mom died I was torn up and none of my friends could tell because I kept a smile on my face and did my school work like usual but at nights when I went home I wrote out letters to each of my best friends explaining to them how much it hurt that they didn't notice anything along with the stress and added emotions from being a 7th grade and loosing your mom, getting your first period and to top off having no one understand you but when I got into a a decent place I gave my friends the letters and they all responded telling me they honestly didn't know what to do besides go about a regular day and just wait for me. Here it has been almost 5 years since I lost my mom and the crying never stops, I still get sad but when ever I get to that hide to myself phase I write out letters to people and wait until a good moment to give it to them, so pretty much just write!

That's such a sad story! T.T My boyfriend's mom is dead too, he doesn't cry unless I'm around. I'm made him cry one time because at my grandpa's funeral I wrote this poem. He cried saying, "That reminds me of my mom." I felt so bad that I cried hard, but he said it was really good. I am better at explaining things when I write instead of talking about it. Um...maybe I should try that along with explaining in person. Thanks Som! ^.^ *huggles you* Hope things get easier for you...if not I'll help you out. :3