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 Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:36 pm
Hi I am 15 going on 16 and I had sex around the second week of June. We used a condom and he didn't ejaculate. I missed my period though(I skip every other month anyways though) and I was supposed to have one this month. M mom doesn't know and is taking me to the doctor Monday to see if I have a hormonal imbalance because I started skipping last year in December. I'm scared though and I don't want to tell my mom I have had sex.
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 1:06 pm
What kind of person is your mom? Would she understand?
How would she react? The only way to know for sure is a pregnancy test, or if you get your period back. If you are pregnant, and they take you to the doctor there is a chance that if you are pregnant they will find out. Have you thought of how to break it to her that you could possibly be pregnant? If she finds out through the doctor instead of through you would she react better or worse in response to what he might find? I personally feel coming clean here would allow you to come out with it in a manner that will have you appear to her more adult then hiding it, and might cause her to act in a different way when she finds out.
There's three scenarios here; [1] She finds out you are pregnant through a doctor. [2] You tell her you might be pregnant before you go to the doctor.
[3] You chance it and hope you are not, and you are lucky.
Condoms are only 85 % effective, and pre-c** may contain a high sperm concentration. The presence of sperm in the fluid is debated. Existing research has found none or low levels of sperm in pre-ejaculate, though these existing studies are non-generalizable due to examining small numbers of men. A contrary, yet non-generalizable study that found mixed evidence, including individual cases of a high sperm concentration, has been recently published.
Do you live in the US? Does anyone (talking to other people who might read this) know if there are any clinics (dealing with teen pregnancy, birth control and pregnancy tests) were she could get a pregnancy test, no questions asked?
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 1:42 pm
Oka well my mom is Christian and I am her only daughter she doesn't eve know I'm sexual active. She says sex before marriage is wrong but she does it herself. I wanted to get a test but I live in a super small town and everyone would know I bought one in five minutes. Oh and I don't know how to tell her without her being mad I have thought about it but never figured out a way.
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 1:55 pm
skyblue2014 Oka well my mom is Christian and I am her only daughter she doesn't eve know I'm sexual active. She says sex before marriage is wrong but she does it herself. I wanted to get a test but I live in a super small town and everyone would know I bought one in five minutes. Oh and I don't know how to tell her without her being mad I have thought about it but never figured out a way. Even if she gets mad she can't stay mad forever. Like you said you are her only daughter, and she is Christian. A Christian can't hold grudges forever. When you do something that she thinks is wrong there should be forgiveness. The downside of living in such a small place. =( I wish I had some better advice to give you, maybe someone else commenting will. If you do chose to tell her try to remain calm if she gets angry. She cares about you, and even if she says things in the heat of the moment that hurts she will more then realize later that she can't approach you like that.
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 2:11 pm
Garland-Green skyblue2014 Oka well my mom is Christian and I am her only daughter she doesn't eve know I'm sexual active. She says sex before marriage is wrong but she does it herself. I wanted to get a test but I live in a super small town and everyone would know I bought one in five minutes. Oh and I don't know how to tell her without her being mad I have thought about it but never figured out a way. Even if she gets mad she can't stay mad forever. Like you said you are her only daughter, and she is Christian. A Christian can't hold grudges forever. When you do something that she thinks is wrong there should be forgiveness. The downside of living in such a small place. =( I wish I had some better advice to give you, maybe someone else commenting will. If you do chose to tell her try to remain calm if she gets angry. She cares about you, and even if she says things in the heat of the moment that hurts she will more then realize later that she can't approach you like that. Thanks I'm scared still though. I wish I could talk to one of my sister-in-laws but I know they would tell her. Idk I hope I can tell her before monday
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 2:19 pm
skyblue2014 Garland-Green skyblue2014 Oka well my mom is Christian and I am her only daughter she doesn't eve know I'm sexual active. She says sex before marriage is wrong but she does it herself. I wanted to get a test but I live in a super small town and everyone would know I bought one in five minutes. Oh and I don't know how to tell her without her being mad I have thought about it but never figured out a way. Even if she gets mad she can't stay mad forever. Like you said you are her only daughter, and she is Christian. A Christian can't hold grudges forever. When you do something that she thinks is wrong there should be forgiveness. The downside of living in such a small place. =( I wish I had some better advice to give you, maybe someone else commenting will. If you do chose to tell her try to remain calm if she gets angry. She cares about you, and even if she says things in the heat of the moment that hurts she will more then realize later that she can't approach you like that. Thanks I'm scared still though. I wish I could talk to one of my sister-in-laws but I know they would tell her. Idk I hope I can tell her before monday If you tell her and need someone to talk to I will be here. Now I have to go to bed. ^^ I wish you a good night. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 1:24 am
Garland-Green skyblue2014 Garland-Green skyblue2014 Oka well my mom is Christian and I am her only daughter she doesn't eve know I'm sexual active. She says sex before marriage is wrong but she does it herself. I wanted to get a test but I live in a super small town and everyone would know I bought one in five minutes. Oh and I don't know how to tell her without her being mad I have thought about it but never figured out a way. Even if she gets mad she can't stay mad forever. Like you said you are her only daughter, and she is Christian. A Christian can't hold grudges forever. When you do something that she thinks is wrong there should be forgiveness. The downside of living in such a small place. =( I wish I had some better advice to give you, maybe someone else commenting will. If you do chose to tell her try to remain calm if she gets angry. She cares about you, and even if she says things in the heat of the moment that hurts she will more then realize later that she can't approach you like that. Thanks I'm scared still though. I wish I could talk to one of my sister-in-laws but I know they would tell her. Idk I hope I can tell her before monday If you tell her and need someone to talk to I will be here. Now I have to go to bed. ^^ I wish you a good night. I will keep you in my prayers. My friend told the guy that is the father of the kid I might be having and he texted me and said he was going to kill himself. I tried telling him I didn't know if I was or not yet and that if I was I didn't want hiding because I wanted him in the child's live. What should I do.
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 7:30 am
skyblue2014 Garland-Green skyblue2014 Garland-Green skyblue2014 Oka well my mom is Christian and I am her only daughter she doesn't eve know I'm sexual active. She says sex before marriage is wrong but she does it herself. I wanted to get a test but I live in a super small town and everyone would know I bought one in five minutes. Oh and I don't know how to tell her without her being mad I have thought about it but never figured out a way. Even if she gets mad she can't stay mad forever. Like you said you are her only daughter, and she is Christian. A Christian can't hold grudges forever. When you do something that she thinks is wrong there should be forgiveness. The downside of living in such a small place. =( I wish I had some better advice to give you, maybe someone else commenting will. If you do chose to tell her try to remain calm if she gets angry. She cares about you, and even if she says things in the heat of the moment that hurts she will more then realize later that she can't approach you like that. Thanks I'm scared still though. I wish I could talk to one of my sister-in-laws but I know they would tell her. Idk I hope I can tell her before monday If you tell her and need someone to talk to I will be here. Now I have to go to bed. ^^ I wish you a good night. I will keep you in my prayers. My friend told the guy that is the father of the kid I might be having and he texted me and said he was going to kill himself. I tried telling him I didn't know if I was or not yet and that if I was I didn't want hiding because I wanted him in the child's live. What should I do. He was willing to have sex with you. He should have considered that there could be consequences. If you are pregnant, and he decides not to have anything to do with the baby he is missing out. I know I would regret it later in life. I am glad you are considering to keep the baby even though you are not sure you are pregnant yet. ^^ What you need is support, not someone saying they'll kill themselves. Give him some time to think about what being a father entails, perhaps he will come to better thoughts.
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 11:40 am
As a mom myself to two beautiful daughters (17 and 13) I would like to just say that if you were MY daughter in such a situation I would want to know. Of course your Mom will be unhappy, pregnant or not. We as parents all want what is the best for our children, and especially as Christian parents we want God's very best for our children. We always want better for our children then we have/had.
Sometimes as parents we fail to do the right thing or act the right way. Sometimes as children we fail to do the right thing as well. If your Mom is telling you to do something herself she doesn't live out, you should be able to have a heartfelt conversation with her about it. Note: this conversation should NOT sound like you are accusing her, nobody responds well to that. I suppose that would have been a better conversation before this happened, however it's simply too late for that now.
You never said if you are close to your Mom or not. I hope you are, but regardless, you Mom loves you very much and will always love you whatever happens, even if she becomes upset for a bit, she'll get over it, and even though right now this seems like a HUGE deal to you, I promise that someday it won't seem like it was such a big deal.
The doctor is SURE to ask if you are sexually active, and it's never a good idea to lie to a Dr about something that is important to your health. Please make sure you are honest here!
I have to admit, I am struggling to not point out why waiting for sex is so important, both physically and emotionally...it's probably the mom in me. I hate to see young women in these situations. Especially for women, when joining in a sexual union with a man, we knit ourselves together. The Bible speaks of joining together in marriage, but when we do it outside of marriage, we do it to a degree as well. If you have intimacy with a man and he leaves, he takes a part of you with him, leaving you with holes and gaps, not whole like you were. Tearing a part of yourself away is also painful...both physically, mentally and emotionally. (You have heard the crude phrase, "I'm gonna get a piece of that!" referring to sex. It's true, that is what happens)
Certainly the Lord can mend this in you if you turn to Him. But is it the best choice to do it and seek healing afterwards or to avoid the pain first? I would rather not see people hurt and broken. /end lecture
ANYWAY...lol, I do wish you the best... heart
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 2:34 pm
How did things go with you?
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 3:49 pm
Garland-Green How did things go with you? Well into pregnant so that is good, but my thyroid is swollen. They took my blood and hormones were fine but I still did the ultrasound only thyroid and I did that today so I won't know what is wrong with me till the week after the next Monday.
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Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 12:02 am
skyblue2014 Garland-Green How did things go with you? Well into pregnant so that is good, but my thyroid is swollen. They took my blood and hormones were fine but I still did the ultrasound only thyroid and I did that today so I won't know what is wrong with me till the week after the next Monday. when you said into did you mean not?
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Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 10:14 am
Robotic Chewie2590 skyblue2014 Garland-Green How did things go with you? Well into pregnant so that is good, but my thyroid is swollen. They took my blood and hormones were fine but I still did the ultrasound only thyroid and I did that today so I won't know what is wrong with me till the week after the next Monday. when you said into did you mean not? Oh yes sorry
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Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 6:11 pm
skyblue2014 Garland-Green How did things go with you? Well into pregnant so that is good, but my thyroid is swollen. They took my blood and hormones were fine but I still did the ultrasound only thyroid and I did that today so I won't know what is wrong with me till the week after the next Monday. I am glad to hear that. ^^ Hopefully it is nothing serious.
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