[PRP] Shut-in

[Suudonym]

By the time Luke returned home, he was beyond exhaustion - and he expressed as much to Emil after greeting his roommate, indicating that he was going to take a nap and not to be surprised if he didn't turn up for a few hours. (Emil might have noticed, in the midst of their short dialogue, a weariness that superseded physical tiredness.) He had then disappeared into his room, drawing the door quietly shut behind him.

True to his word, the boy was complete absent from the apartment's shared rooms for the next several hours. However, he failed to resurface after that allotted time, failure to resurface even the next day, until three days had passed in complete absence of the young noble. Each morning passed without evidence that Luke had been about it, not even one of the often vague notes indicating that he would be away for a while that sometimes appeared around the apartment. For all intents and purposes, there existed every sign that he simply had not left his room since returning with that harrowed expression on his face.  

[BlackPidgeot]

When Luke had returned home looking as awful as he did, Emil was concerned but murmured quiet compliance to his friend's statement. Deciding that maybe he should be left alone for now. However, as the hours passed, he began to wonder, but still left the other boy along. But by day three, he was getting really worried. What if... what if he had died in there or something?

A light panic had settled over Emil, but he tried not to think that way. Instead, he made breakfast and eventually mustered up the courage to stand in front of Luke's door. The boy knocking softly on the wooden surface as he waited, hopefully, for an answer.

His white Espeon was nearby, keeping an ear tuned to what was taking place.  

[Suudonym]

Luke's thoughts went to the door at the sound, though he didn't feel inclined to move. Indeed, he hadn't felt inclined to move for days now. The few hours of rest he had expected to take had certainly been taken, but he had proceeded to sleep through the night after. On waking the following day, rising and accomplishing anything seemed an exercise in futility, so he had instead chosen to remain where he was. By now, it was sounding perfectly plausible simply to not leave his room again. Keeping up with nutrition and hydration didn't really matter if he was expected to die anyway.

The knock reanimated thoughts that had long idled out to blankness, however, and he shifted uncomfortably within the mess of blankets he had gathered around himself, breathing a quiet sigh. He still didn't really want to move, though, nor did he really want to raise his voice, so he remained as still and silent as he had been. Whatever Emil wanted, it probably wasn't anything important.  

[BlackPidgeot]

There was a pause on the other side of the door as Emil waited for an answer. When none came, the boy shifted uncomfortably in worry. Then his muffled voice would finally carry into the room.

"Luke are you in there? Are you okay? ... Are you alive?"

The last question definitely conveyed his worry and he hoped he wouldn't have to try and break into the room. Last thing he wanted was to go in there and find a body or something. That would just be horrible and scary.  

[Suudonym]

…Oh, so it wasn't that Emil wanted anything; it had just been so long since Luke had left his room that the boy had begun to doubt his life. It wasn't really his intent to worry Emil, so Luke spoke up this time, "I'm fine." The voice as it sounded on the opposite side of the door was muffled not only by the physical barrier but also by its own weakness - it hardly sounded like the words of someone who was genuinely 'fine.' He had been able to avoid fatal dehydration by the grace of keeping bottled water in his room to use to take the various medications he had stocked, but an absence of appetite hadn't motivated him in any way to pursue food.  

[BlackPidgeot]

There was another pause as Emil breathed a sigh of relief. Oh thank Arceus, Luke was still among the living! However, he didn't sound all that good either.

"... Are you sure? You don't... sound very fine. You've been in there for three days straight."

And yeah, it was more than a little worrying.  

[Suudonym]

A sigh, and he pulled the sheets over his head defiantly, muttering an inaudible "I said I'm fine."

Except that he obviously wasn't fine, and by now he wasn't even sure anymore what the point of the lie was. What did he gain by insisting health where there obviously was none? This was stupid and he didn't care anymore. The pain of admitting things he didn't want to be true certainly couldn't have outweighed that of knowing they were true nonetheless.

When the door opened, Emil was greeted by a face that was pale with weariness, a hand raised to rub at dull eyes and coerce away the dizziness of suddenly standing. "No, not really, I guess."  

[BlackPidgeot]

The sight that greeted Emil was not a good one, and the boy stared, dumbfounded, for a moment. Obviously Luke was not okay, and even he could tell that. Not to mention he finally admitted it. He opened his mouth to ask if he was okay, but well... that had already been answered and it would be dumb to ask again.

"What's wrong? You look terrible."  

[Suudonym]

He passed the raised hand through his hair with an apathetic shrug, "What's right is the shorter list, but I guess the condensed version is that I'm apparently not getting any better and shouldn't expect to live all that long." He coughed lightly, his voice uncomfortable from disuse. The pause that followed considered all the words that could be said and how they could be arranged before he spoke again, "Something about heart failure, at an advanced stage…" For all that consideration, eloquence was ever evasive.  

[BlackPidgeot]

Green eyes widened as Emil looked appropriately horrified at this news. This was not something he had expected to hear, obviously.

"W-what?!"

This was kind of a new experience for him and the poor boy wasn't sure how to handle it. So he shuffled his feet and looked down. "That's terrible."

He then looked up. "But that's not just it, right? Something can be done... right?" Surely there was hope. There had to be.  

[Suudonym]

He leaned unconsciously against the door frame, breathing out a silent sigh. "Technically. There's the kind of extreme solution of, well… transplants," the thought was even more uncomfortable than had been that of the surgery, "but the doctor made it pretty clear that she doesn't think I'm emotionally fit enough to pass the qualifications for the program." And granted, he had just spent three days in his bed. That wasn't exactly proving her wrong.  

[BlackPidgeot]

Emil stared at Luke with his big eyes but there was also a bit of a grim expression too. Cause yeah, if he'd locked himself away for three days... even Emil would doubt Luke's emotional stability. Again there was pause as Emil was quiet and thoughtful. And well... this just begged the question.

"So what are you going to do?"  

[Suudonym]

The disconnected apathy thawed in his expression, leaving in its wake a distant hopelessness. "Dunno," he said at length. "Go back to bed maybe."  

[BlackPidgeot]

Now Emil was alarmed at that, and reached out to grab Luke by the arms, giving him a shake.

"No, you can't do that! There's still hope if you can have the transplant, right? You need to get better!"

And Emil desperately wanted to see Luke get better. He was the only friend that Emil really had, and he couldn't just watch him go on like this.  

[Suudonym]

Luke blinked in surprise at the boy, temporarily startled by Emil's sudden distress. The words rekindled a dying defiance, and he raised his voice slightly, "It's not like I want to die! What am I supposed to do, though?! 'Oh, there's a good chance you're gonna die and everything you've done up to now is basically worthless against that, but if you're upset about it then there's nothing you can do.' What kind of sense does that make? It's stupid!"