[FIN] An Honest Attempt to Appease Yuri Lowell: Chapter 3

[Tori Honoo]

After her second failed attempt to console Luke, Dove had gone home, her only triumph an agreement from Yuri to speak with her again. Later, as he suggested, she sought him out, first wandering back to the small park near Luke's home, then through the city, looking for the man as she walked and again tried to figure out what to say.

The subject had been on her mind, of course, many times before now, and she had thought herself less and less prepared each time she imagined trying to apologize again. Now, however, she knew what she had to do--she thought-- and searched the streets for him quietly, hoping he had been able to calm Luke and see to it that the damage she caused was reversed. She hadn't meant to... And she would approach him again. Not at what Yuri had said.

Finally, she found herself in the park, still with no sight of Yuri. Sighing in defeat, she sink into a park bench to rest her legs, releasing Sparky for the time being; there was no way she would fully trust this place anymore, not after what had happened with Luke. As best she could tell, this park was in between where Yuri was and where he lived. With any luck, he might pass through.

Lovey stayed alert to her trainer, watching the paths for any sight of a familiar face, and after a few minutes, she wagged her tail, barking once to get Dove's attention before letting herself down from the bench and making her way over to the very familiar blue growlithe.  

[BlackPidgeot]

He was actually closer than she thought. The man at the park and having taken up a post upon the sea wall that divided the park from the ocean. His dark gaze staring out across the sea as the sun began to set. Unwittingly near where a certain red head use to stand and look towards home. The ocean breeze catching his long dark hair and blowing it to one side, his right hand grasping his sword as usual.

Repede sat at his side, turning to look towards Dove as he noticed her flopping down into a bench nearby. The Growlithe issuing a bark to alert the girl more than his master. The man knew what that bark meant, but didn't move from where he stood.  

[Tori Honoo]

Dove started, jerked from her thoughts, as the two Pokemon barked. Lifting her head and straightening her back, she looked in the direction from which the stronger bark had come, rising and gathering her bag as her eyes fell on the man sitting atop the wall. With a deep breath, she followed Lovey, Sparky at her side, and stopped a few feet away. With a little wave of greeting to Repede, she lifted her gaze to Yuri.

"Hey... Have you been here long?."  

[BlackPidgeot]

"No," Yuri replied casually, for he hadn't really. He'd stayed with Luke for some time before he felt it was okay to leave him. He didn't bother to look at her though, keeping his gaze forward with an unreadable expression.

"So, you had something to say?" Yep, getting right down to the point.  

[Tori Honoo]

She nodded, then looked away, absently petting Sparky's head as he watched both growlithe and trainer.

She didn't bother to hesitate this time, though her words were soft. "I'm sorry..." she told him, forcing herself to look at him again. "You're right. I'm a sheltered, selfish girl, and I don't understand half the things that are going on. I did a lot more harm overall by trying to help."  

[BlackPidgeot]

"Yeah, you did," Yuri said without hesitating.

He eventually turned to look at her with a soft frown. "And you say that, but you do even get what that means? Are you saying that to make yourself feel better, or to make me stop being angry at you, or because you really mean it?"

Repede looked stoically between the two humans, the Growlithe paying little attention to the other Pokemon than what was necessary.  

[Tori Honoo]

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it, Yuri," she told him honestly, her head dipping a little. Tears pricked behind her eyes as he confirmed her failure to help. "I might not understand all of it, but I'm trying... I know I've made too many mistakes, but I really want to mend what I can."

Sparky stayed behind the girl, then laid next to her, injured paw still bandaged.  

[BlackPidgeot]

"Yeah?" Yuri said, his voice raising just slightly. "Then I guess you meant everything else you said, right? About how -you- can't take it. How -you- are not use to this. That -you- are scared. When it comes down to it, it's all about you. No matter how much -you- say you care."

Yuri's words were definitely biting, and he knew it, but at this point, he could careless.  

[Tori Honoo]

She listened with her head low, accepting his words without barely a flinch. "Of course I did, at the time. I was terrified." She tucked her hair back and over her shoulder. "I panicked, and vented, and shouldn't have..."

She looked up to him. "I know I wasn't the only one hurting, but to point out that kind of thing in others... I've been taught never to ring out the weaknesses in other people., because some want to ignore it.."

Se took a deep breath. "I know that I had the least of all of it... Luke's definitely had the worst, and you... I can't imagine what you've been through. I've tried. I shouldn't have blamed you...it couldn't have been easy to do what you did, and I'm sorry I didn't realize that before..."  

[BlackPidgeot]

The muscles in Yuri's jaw tightened a bit. "I don't like doing this," Yuri admitted, "And normally I wouldn't. But you're making this hard on everyone. Are you even listening to yourself right now? Practically every sentence you say starts with 'I'."

And really it drove him crazy. It was that kind of selfish mentality that he hated in the nobles so much. And most he would just ignore. But Dove was a nice girl, she just needed to be steered in the right direction. If she would accept it.

"Ignoring your weaknesses is the worst mistake you can make. You need to face them and move forward. That's the only way anyone can improve."  

[Tori Honoo]

She mentally kicked herself as she realized he was right, an tears again sprang to her eyes. "I'm sorry."

She nodded at his statements. "How?" the question was simple, but earnest, and she knew she would need someone's help. No one else had tried to teach her before, and there was no way she could see that she would figure it out on her own.  

[BlackPidgeot]

"First, stop being sorry. Self pity isn't helping, either." It was true, no matter how much she said she was sorry, it was just words.

"Start putting yourself in situations that force you to stop thinking about yourself. Go help people, strangers even. Don't do things because you want people to like you. Do it because it's the right thing to do." Like during Christmas.

And really, this was something she needed to do herself. If he or anyone else she knew tried to help, it would just end up with Dove wanting to please him or whoever else so that she would be in their good graces again. That would be counterproductive.  

[Tori Honoo]

She frowned confused--what was an apology if you weren't sorry?


"Like what we did at Christmas, with those children...?"
She had countless charities she contributed to, back home, but that had been her first real experience with hands on volunteer work. "How do you find places like that? People like that?" She was willing, but to walk up to a random stranger and just assume they needed her help with anything... How was that okay? To ask someone back home if they needed help was unheard of in a lot if situations, vain even.  

[BlackPidgeot]

"Yeah, something like that," he said with a nod.

"It's not that hard, and you're a smart girl. You'll figure something out. But try to make sacrifices. Real sacrifices, that actually hurt or are inconvenient, for the sake of others with no self centered motives. Which means you need to evaluate why you're doing something before you do it."

She's grown up in a sheltered environment where self was what mattered most. If Dove really wanted to change, she would have to get out of her comfort zone.  

[Tori Honoo]

She nodded back, locking the words into her mind. "I'll do something...Thank you, Yuri.."

She wrapped her arms around her middle, the chill of the sea falling over the wall where she stood. The impact hasn't been quite as crushing as she had expected, but then, she had had plenty if time to think things out and had already mostly come to a conclusion similar. It wasn't over, but the worst was, at least.

After a moment of shivering, the girl took a deep breath, then looked to the man. "So... How have you been? Like... Really been?"