[FIN] Spot the Differences

[BlackFireKitsune]

Another bright, gorgeous summer day found Seraphine absolutely miserable once again. Despite how perfect the weather was, how cloudless the sky was overhead, and the nice breeze that blew through the trees of the park, the brunette couldn't bring herself to even hope to enjoy it. Quite the opposite, in fact - she was almost determined not to enjoy it, given her current emotional state as well as the altercation she'd had with her mother a scant couple of hours ago.

Sera had found a shady spot beneath some trees off the path in the park, dropped down and slumped against one at random, had pulled her knees to her chest and now clung to them tightly, her head buried in them as she wept quietly. Her posture, her hair, and the white hoodie she wore all combined to hide her amputated arm from sight. Along with the hoodie, she wore a pair of jeans and small flats, and hadn't even so much as attempted to wear make-up for weeks. What was the point? She'd only cry it all off within an hour, anyway. It was pointless. Everything was pointless.  

[Akira Midoriyama]

Akira sat outside on a park bench with his newest pokemon, Happa, listening to some music on his ipod as usual and enjoying the outdoor air for once. As one very sensitive to allergens, the young man had been an indoor person for most of his life. With the addition of a Leafeon on his team, however, the pokemon's ability to clean the air surrounding it was especially appreciated.

He was just pondering whether he dare call out his Serperior for a little training on that beautiful day when he thought he heard soft sobs mingling with the sound of his music. As he trusted his sense of hearing more than any of his other four, the brunet lifted off his headset and rested it on the back of his neck. He pressed a button to stop the music while scanning his immediate surroundings for the source of the sound. Whoever it was, they couldn't have been far.

Getting up, Akira nodded to Happa to follow as he headed closer to the trees. It was beneath one of them that he saw a crumpled figure curled tight with their back against a tree. By the few, vague hints of size and shape that the hoodie gave regarding its wearer, he guessed it was a girl. He knelt beside her, offering a gentle inquiry. "Excuse me. I'm sorry; I couldn't help but notice you over here. May I ask what's the matter?" Oh, tears. He could never ignore a girl with tears.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Akira. She hadn't even noticed him at all before - but maybe he arrived sometime after her? Or maybe before. Either way it didn't really matter all that much; what mattered was that he was there now and had approached her.

The small figure visibly tensed, her shoulders ceased their trembling, and a few moments passed in silence while she remained completely still. Desperately she tried to think, floundering for some way to respond, something to say... Eventually, though, she gave up, and hesitantly turned her head to reveal a flushed, tear-stained face as she peered up at him - her shortened arm still hidden for now. But what to say? What could she say? The last time she'd seen him left her feeling progressively more uncomfortable the longer she thought about his behavior, but had he felt the same discomfort? She wasn't even sure. She'd never even asked, and if he'd told her within the last several weeks then she'd be none the wiser. Her phone was still lying on her dresser, dead.

Wait, she still needed to say something - he probably expected a proper response, and yet all she could do was sit there, sniffling like a pitiful little child. "Um," she started uncertainly, still entirely unsure how to even respond to such a thing, because she fully expected everyone to ask whatever they liked of her and disregard the thought that she may not be okay with it. "Hi.." What, no; that was pathetic. He had asked a question, not said 'hello.' Pitiful, pathetic, overemotional little idiot. She seemed to shrink a little at her own internal berating, feeling even worse than before. At the very least she'd stopped actively crying, despite the tears that still occasionally rolled down her cheeks.  

[Akira Midoriyama]

Concerned that he may have worsened the situation (as had often been the case in the past during attempts to comfort upset girls), the young man put his hands on the ground slowly. This was partly to give her more room, partly to balance himself better, and partly to demonstrate that he wasn't going to make any sudden motions to reach out and touch or otherwise make her uncomfortable. He waited patiently as they were both quiet, giving her time to collect herself.

It was he, though, who ended up needing time to collect himself. When he found that through the fresh tears and flushed complexion that he recognized the face behind it all, he almost found himself gaping. "Seraphine?" he mouthed, his voice hardly more than a whisper. It seemed to have abandoned him in his state of shock. He hadn't heard from her for quite some time, now, and he'd been far too embarrassed after their last encounter to initiate contact himself, even through a call or text.

Come to think of it, the last he'd heard of her at all was when Dove had mentioned that Sera had been shot. He would have called her then, but...she hadn't even been the one to tell him. What if she hadn't wanted him to know? Maybe she had just wanted to avoid him altogether since they'd last met. He couldn't think of what to say.

He knew he couldn't just kneel there gawking like a moron, though. This was a girl in pain, whether she was a friend or not, and he couldn't just ignore that. Suddenly she spoke, causing him to snap to attention immediately. 'Um' and 'Hi' were the last things he'd expected to come out of that mouth. Come to think of it, where was her make-up? She just looked so incredibly...soft and sad and vulnerable. It was disconcerting.

He shook his head; no, stop comparing her to before. The problem was here and now and she obviously wasn't herself. Nevermind why; he needed to - to - do something! "Hello," he answered tenderly, wanting to slap himself. Well, it was a start, and that was better than nothing.

By her words of choice he had deduced that the girl perhaps did mind him asking what the matter was. Perhaps it was too difficult to talk about right now. Perhaps she didn't wish to discuss it with him, or maybe just at all. Still, that didn't mean he was helpless.

"Hey," he said softly, looking into her eyes. "You don't need to tell me if you don't want to. It's going to be okay. I promise. Whatever it is, I'm here. Whatever you need me for, whenever you need me, I'll be right here, alright?" He seated himself promptly on the grass beside her, ignoring his once-upon-a-time concern for grass stains. "If you want me gone, you just say the word and I'll go, but for now I'm not moving."

Sometimes, he knew, it helped to just sit and be with whoever was hurting. No words, no communication...just being close by.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

She wilted at his initial reaction, bowing her head over her arms again. Of course he was shocked. Yuri had been similarly surprised, and hadn't even recognized her for several minutes. Not just several seconds - several minutes. There she was, desperately wanting everything to be the same as it once was, and wanting to be treated the same - she didn't want to be treated so differently - but she couldn't even bring herself to act the same as before. She felt so utterly disconnected from the person she once was - could she even be that same person again? No, likely not. That fact alone depressed her even more.

Once more she tilted her gaze up to him, but turned it back to try and wipe away some of the tears. This was ridiculous - absolutely ridiculous, and likely one of the most pathetic displays anyone had ever seen.. So pathetic it was probably disgusting, the voice in her head told her. No, not probably; definitely.

He was speaking, though, and she didn't want to be (even more) rude, so her pale gaze slid up to his face again. The copious amounts of sympathy and pity might have angered her, but instead it only added to her depressed state. Even though he outright told her she needn't say anything, she inwardly assumed he still fully expected to hear at least something, and she didn't want to disappoint someone who was already more than likely completely disappointed in her. She wasn't supposed to act this way, behave this way - she never did before, and she assumed no one ever wanted her to. To outright defy the assumptions she placed on them of her and to behave in such a terribly pathetic way was, in her mind, one of the most treasonous, worst things she possibly could do.

Or maybe her depression had created an internal voice in her head that berated her for every possible thing imaginable - and imagine she did.

"Okay," she replied quietly at length, her hand returning to her knee and absently running her fingers along the folds in the fabric as she grasped desperately at any possible thing to say to him. "Um.." Quick, think of something - anything - because the longer you sit there speechless after that idiotic little 'um', the more pathetic you look. "...how are you?" Okay, not anything - something at least marginally intelligent would've been better; she was, she was sure, only furthering the poor opinion he must've had about her.  

[Akira Midoriyama]

"Me?" he repeated, not having anticipated the question. He supposed if someone didn't want to talk about themselves, then naturally they would want to hear about someone else. But what could he say? If it was complaints about work or worries about what had happened to her or something depressing, that just might make her feel worse, but if he said he was having a great life and enjoying himself, wasn't that bound to make her feel bad, too?

"I'm...doing okay," he said at last. "I, uh...I caught a new pokemon. It's called a Leafeon, so I named it 'Happa', which means 'leaves'." He smiled at it and held out his hand to urge the pokemon closer. The quiet grass-type gladly came forward and sat at the feet of the humans. "I never knew they were so amazing at clearing the air."

...Idiot. Like she cared about that. "Say...do you know anything about sign language?"  

[BlackFireKitsune]

The sight of the Eeveelution, unfortunately, only made her even sadder. At least it wasn't an Umbreon - if it was, she might've started bawling right then and there. As it wasn't, though, she merely angled her gaze downward again, not wanting to really look at it. "I didn't know either," she admitted softly.

And, as if being subtly reminded of her missing Umbreon was bad enough, he now brought up a topic about gestures that typically, from her understanding, required two hands. She lowered her head back onto her arms, but rather than voice a response - she couldn't at the moment anyway - she merely shook her head 'no.' What good would a one-handed person be at sign language, anyway? Completely useless - which was, coincidentally, exactly how she'd felt for the past three or so weeks.

She remained sitting up there, assuming he expected her to speak, but she honestly couldn't think of a single thing to say, and coincidentally continued to berate herself internally for it.  

[Akira Midoriyama]

Akira may not have been the most sensitive of guys, but he wasn't a complete idiot. Noticing the effect of the Eeveeloution on her, he immediately called Happa back into his pokeball, hoping the pokemon wouldn't mind the sudden change of plans. He doubted it; the creature seemed to be understanding and gentle. He had no idea why the sight of Happa seemed to make her more sad, but he wasn't about to wait until he knew.

...And changing topics didn't seem to help as much as he'd hoped, because when he brought up the subject of sign language, Sera only seemed to withdraw even more into herself.

Why? Why was it that whenever he tried to comfort any distressed maiden in need, he always ended up making matters worse in one way or another? It had happened at least twice - possibly thrice or more - that he could remember, each incident with different girls. Was he just that oblivious to the causes of their distress and anguish?

Sighing heavily, he looked up at the branches of the tree they sat under. He was no good at this and he knew it. It didn't seem to matter if he changed his name or appearance or even grown up and matured a bit; he was still no good with people, especially girls.

Watching Sera sit curled up made him recall the last time he had been in that position. Not knowing what else to do, he took the headphones from around his neck and gently reached over to place them over her ears, if she would allow him. It was what his sister had always done to comfort him since she hadn't had words to do so. Selecting a certain song on his ipod, he pressed play, hoping it would communicate what he couldn't seem to by his own actions or words.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Luckily for her, he not only withdrew the Leafeon, he also didn't pursue conversation about either, and for that she was grateful. Not that she could voice such a feeling, though. His deep sigh sent a pang of guilt through her - he was probably frustrated, disappointed with her for not speaking or continuing. Maybe he was debating leaving her there because of--

As she wasn't looking at him, she was briefly and mildly startled out of her internal criticism when a slight weight suddenly appeared on her person, but upon realizing what had caused it she didn't protest, though she did appear a little confused. Almost immediately she could relate to the song that flowed into her ears - music was something she was interested in because she loved to dance, even if this wasn't exactly the type she normally listened to. Still, she remained still and silent as the song played, watching the blades of grass in front of her feet as they shifted with the breeze that blew by them.

Once it ended, she slipped the headphones off with one hand and passed them back to him. Her gaze remained averted as she voiced a quiet "thank you," though she frowned at the fact she really wanted to say more, but she just... wasn't sure what to say. "I'm sorry.." Pathetic start, and now he was fully expecting her to speak. "Um, I'm sorry, I just.. I don't... really know what to, um..." She trailed off uncertainly, a slight hesitance in her voice as she bowed her head slightly again, but not completely. What did he want her to say? She wasn't sure, but it had to be something, and she couldn't fathom anything to say unprompted.  

[Akira Midoriyama]

Glad that the music, at least, hadn't seemed to have had a negative effect on her, he glanced back at her when she passed his headphones to him with a thank you. Music really did seem to be a universal language after all.

When she tried to speak again, though, it seemed unsure and halting. "You really shouldn't force yourself to speak if you don't feel like it, Miss Seraphine," he told her softly. Putting his headphones down on his lap, he gazed ahead at the green carpet of grass that covered the ground before them and smiled faintly. "I'm...just glad to see you again. It's been a while since I heard from you, though I know you have your reasons. I've certainly had mine."

As he stared ahead, lost in thought, Akira absently reached out a hand to stroke Sera's hair. His subconscious still kept him from embracing or otherwise getting too close to her, but he couldn't help wanting to physically reach out to her, even just a little.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Well that was the thing, she kind of did want to speak, she just wasn't sure how to form proper sentences. The art appeared to have been lost to her recently. Still, the fact he didn't think she could even speak properly (regardless of what he really thought) only served to depress her further. The hand petting her hair only made her more uncomfortable, although that could've been fine if not for his words and the words he'd tried to voice the last time she saw him.

Hesitantly she leaned a little away from the hair touching while feeling like the worst person in the world for it, but focused her gaze (sort of) on him. "What've you been busy with..?"  

[Akira Midoriyama]

Snatching his hand back sharply, he looked away, his face hot with shame. "Oh, uh...you know, the usual. Work, a little bit of training here and there..." He wondered if he should mention what Dove had told him about the Kanto incident, but again, he wasn't sure if she even wanted him to know. Moreover, it might not have been the best topic to bring up at a time like this. "Trying to...write a little music in my free time, when I have it. Um...you?"  

[BlackFireKitsune]

She listened to his response, noting how many things he seemed to be doing, though she couldn't help but flounder silently when he posed the same question of her. "Um.." What had she been doing lately? Moping, weeping, crying, mourning, coping with loss, dealing with stress, trying not to give in to complete and total hopeless dejection... "..nothing, actually," she finally replied softly, feeling even more sad at the realization - and probably looking just as sad, given her typical inability to keep her emotions disconnected from her countenance. Though, she realized he might interpret that as not giving an actual answer, which wasn't the case, so she endeavored to think of something to add to it, "Just.... Thinking, a lot.." Too much, honestly. All she ever did lately was think about so many things that she shouldn't.  

[Akira Midoriyama]

"I see." Considering her answer, Akira was silent for a couple of beats before mentioning, "That could be bad, you know. Over-thinking things." What to do, what to do...couldn't ask what was wrong, but didn't want to pretend as though everything was fine, either. Couldn't comfort her, offer support, or advice if he didn't know what was wrong either, which was probably just as well because he suspected any advice he had to give would have been terrible. She had been his epitome of how life should have ideally been lived, but now...now something had drastically changed things.

"...Why don't we go get some ice cream? My treat."

Sugar had always made him feel better.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

The girl wilted again, bowing her head over her arms. "I know... but it's just..." Her face formed a pained grimace, "it's hard not to.." And she'd locked herself away in her room for so long, with nothing and no one to distract her, and all the time in the world to simply sit and think.

The suggestion to leave and go elsewhere prompted an immediate tensing and hesitation, "Um.." Her arm wasn't hidden in her hoodie pocket, it was simply out - granted, he hadn't seen it due to her posture yet, but if she stood or moved to do so... "I don't.. um.. maybe?" She hesitated, not wanting to disappoint him if he really wanted to go, but it involved moving, and that would involve probably having to flail around a bit with both arms to get back up.