[FIN] Said and Done

[Blood_Goddess]

Rosie wasn't sure what she should feel bad for... of course she felt bad, but as she sorted through the events that happened, it was really hard to pin point this guilt in her chest.
She could have gone around and around with what was said in her mind and in the end it was just making her feel dizzy.

The only conclusion she could come to was how she probably just shouldn't have said anything at all and dealt with the way Dove treated her.
Blue eyes moved up from the ground to Luke, who she was talking next to, She could tell he was still angry, and it was with no small amount of regret that her problems had ended up upsetting him as badly as they had.
"I'm sorry." Rosie said after she couldn't really think of anything else to say, not really enjoying the silence that carried them through the cold.
"I didn't really expect... any of that..."  

[Suudonym]

Anger lingered in Luke, though it was less anger about what had happened and more anger towards himself, accompanying feelings of betrayal and a caustic interest in knowing how much he overlooked, and for how long. He had learned, through various encounters, that he was prone to ignoring offenses made against him, and he was coming now to hate that of himself.

Rosie's words cut into his thoughts and sparked indignation, and the tone of his response was hard and uncompromising, "Don't apologize. What do you have to apologize for?"  

[Blood_Goddess]

The way he responded made her only feel worse for asking him to come along, She knew he was upset, and she didn't blame him, the kind of person he was was bound to be upset with what had just happened. But for him to have to deal with all that when just a week ago he almost died.

"I just didn't... I I don't know" She admitted her eyes falling again "If I knew it would end up like this... I would have just put up with it... instead of getting everyone so upset." Apparently she had been the only one affected by any of it in the first place, seeing as Dove insisted it had all been in her head.  

[Suudonym]

"Just put up with it?" he repeated, incredulous. "How is that a solution?! You really think it would have been better to just bury your feelings and deal with being insulted?" His hands clenched autonomously. "You have to value yourself more than that! Silently putting up with it is what got us here in the first place!"  

[Blood_Goddess]

His words were jarring, but even more so the way he said them, not that she could really find anyway to disagree with once she stopped to actually consider what he had said, but it was hard not to feel a stab from them anyway.
In the end it did just end up being her fault in the first place, waiting to long to have the guts to speak up, and it just ended up making things so much worse... she supposed.

No words followed, she just dipped her face a little lower into her scarf as she walked, glossy eyes locked on the ground.  

[Suudonym]

In her resigned silence, his words replayed in his thoughts, and he froze in the recognition of their cruelty, his gaze pulled to the ground. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice tense and quiet. In trying to explain that it wasn't her fault, what had he done but nearly say outright that it was her fault? "That's not-- I didn't mean that. I'm sorry."  

[Blood_Goddess]

the blond shook her head lightly when he spoke again, taking on a different tone and apologizing, she couldn't help but not really feel any better, he was only angry because she was too scared to deal with unpleasant things on her own. It hurt her more that she put Luke through this, and she was ashamed of it.
"N No- I just.. just don't know what else to say." Rosie said from behind her scarf. "It is my fault, its okay."  

[Suudonym]

He shook his head insistently, "It's not. What were you supposed to do? Do you think she would have responded better if you'd called her out at any other time?" He raised his eyes, still carrying in them the remorse his harsh sentiment warranted, "I love how gentle you are, and I love how considerate and selfless you are. I love the person you are, and it worries me to think that if it were a couple days earlier, and I couldn't have been with you, you would have sat there and taken all of that, regardless of how it made you feel."  

[Blood_Goddess]

Rosie took a moment to consider his first question, starting off in her own mind with a resolved 'yes' but as she thought more about it she started to wonder. pressing her palm to her cheek, the blond took a couple of deep breaths.
It had just been a mess, difficult to even fathom what she had just heard from the brunette, that any human being with good intentions did that to people.
Rosie might not have seen it in favor of being Dove's friend, but as she really thought back on their interactions more the more she was starting to see that Dove had always been that way.
"I don't know... Maybe?" Rosie settled for admitting "Thinking back, I'm starting to see things differently... I guess."

She hesitated, worried at her own self control with her sad and disappointed emotions if she looked up, but as he finished speaking she managed to, pulling her face out of her scarf and looking over to him. her brow knit in worry at the remorse in his eyes.
She couldn't deny that that's probably what would have happened, well... most definitely. The look of clear guilt crossing her face as she lowered her eyes to Luke's jacket would say as much.  

[Suudonym]

Gently he raised his hands to either side of her face, encouraging eye contact. "You're always putting others ahead of yourself," he said. "And you know, that's something to be proud of, but I said it before: Your first and foremost responsibility is to yourself. If someone makes you uncomfortable, you're not obligated to put up with it. You should cherish yourself more than that." His eyes fell reluctantly, the smile in his features self-deprecating, "...I guess that doesn't mean a whole lot coming from someone like me, but still." Who was he to claim any understanding of cherishing the self, as someone who had only recently begun to comprehend what it meant to live for oneself?  

[Blood_Goddess]

The encouragement lifted her eyes back up to his, taking in a slow breath as she watched him speak, touched by his words and grateful that it didn't make her feel as weak as she had felt walking out of the cafe.
Her eyes widened a bit, and a gentile nod to show that she understood.

This was then followed with a gentle smile and a shake of her head, lifting one of her hands to touch the back of his.
"No- It means everything coming from you." she reassured, "And your right..."

"I guess its not something I really think about... then again its not really something that happens too often either." Rosie really liked people, it was extremely difficult to find someone who didn't want to be around.  

[Suudonym]

He nodded lightly, glad at least that his previous actions didn't completely discredit his point. Though really, he wasn't sure how much he could say; if it were him in her place, he probably wouldn't have even noticed everything that led up to the necessary conclusion. It was frustrating that he only knew anything by hearing it from and witnessing it happening to Rosie.

"Not everyone can get along, I guess," he said. "We can be civil, but being friends..." He shook his head. He couldn't imagine reestablishing friendship in the foreseeable future. It was regrettable, but he'd no sooner be friends with Kyle or the woman who had stolen Mieu. One couldn't expect to get along with everyone, as much as one - especially one like Rosie - might hope.

"I'm sorry I was so angry," he said, shamed by the memory. "I think I probably crossed the line, and I doubt that it helped anything..." He found that he didn't regret what he said, though. He had said exactly what he thought - the way he said it, however, probably could have used a bit more forethought. He couldn't think for a second that his anger had done anything for Rosie's comfort.  

[Blood_Goddess]

"Yeah... you're right." She couldn't expect to get along with everyone, never by any means did she expect that, but she always tried to.
"Its hard to try and remember that sometimes though... especially-" She paused, glancing down again with regret and hesitance. It had always been a worry and after recent events it just seemed to grow. A girl, even more importantly a Trainer in her position. After Luke was brought home it just re-flare the understanding that Rosie didn't know how to react to some people like she should. How dangerous was that?

"I know it was probably not the best time for you to have to be around that" Rosie admitted sheepishly. but she smiled a second later looking back at him with a grateful expression.
"I am glad that you were there for me. I know it wasn't fun for anyone."  

[Suudonym]

"No one could say we're perfect," he said, a soft optimism in his features, "but we can at least remind each other of the important things - fill in the gaps a bit."

He returned the smile in her expression, brushing aside her hair and kissing her forehead lightly. "I didn't go because I thought it'd be fun. If you're glad I was there, then I'm glad I went." His only intent had been to give support; if he had succeeded in that and that alone, then he could only have but so many complaints.  

[Blood_Goddess]

Rosie hummed lightly nodding to his words, but then pausing and shaking her head "No, I could say that." She said in a disagreement "You're perfect to me."
She was starting to wear a more happy look in her eyes. she could admit, she was at least starting to feel better.

Closing her eye when he leaned forward to kiss her forehead enjoying it for the moment before she blinked her eyes open and smiled.
"Even if it ended the way it did? You kept track of everything better then I did, I didn't even know what to say at all."