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 Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 12:15 pm
AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLLMENT FORMName: Koray Karga ( both names are Turkish and mean, Moon Crow) Nicknames: Koro, Snow or Icy Gender: Male Age: 15 Faction: Monster Race: Water Naga [Okay so, Water Naga's are sorta my spin on the classic Hindu Naga. Their fundamentally the same only found in the deep sea, near waterfalls etc. Their more closely related to Sea Serpents, though due to their inability to take a full serpent form they were shoved into the humanoid; Naga Category.] Natural Ability: Venom Resistance: Being venomous himself, he has a slight resistance to the toxin. Though weak now it should get stronger as he gets older. This resistance is limited to toxins naturally made by other snake-like entities. Anything man-made and it'll sicken him greatly. Personality: Koray is a quiet sort of youth, he's not too keen on sunlight so he wears sunglasses. This is due entirely to one huge inhibitor. His eyes are mismatched...only because he's blind in his right eye. As such anyone who comes up on his right is met with a claw or wrapped in his tail. If a teacher or other adult of authority comes up on his right without warning, he'll still attack. Then apologize without end for the show of disrespect. He's slightly more paranoid about his right side, even though he's long adjusted to it. He still will scan the entire area on his right side before focusing on his front. His eyesight is an interesting story. When he was just a hatchling and still learning things he got involved in a fight. It was between his Uncle and another male, resulting in the hatchling getting slashed on the right side of his face. Losing his eyesight and when his mother found out...nearly lost an Uncle. Being from a mainly fighter family he loves showing off his fangs, both top and bottom rows. He has an odd habit of always sinking his fangs into things. He loves fruit for this reason. He isn't always the best at socializing in new situations, but tries his best to get along with everyone. Being apart a fighter family also makes him quite a fan of physical contact, threatening or otherwise. He thinks threatening forms of contact are merely playtime. Something which he delights in. This small trait makes him rather clingy to those who he comes to see as friend, the more he clings the more he likes you. His favorite type of person is one who won't shy away from contact and likes to paint. He has no talent himself, but enjoys the colors. Other than that as long as they aren't too harsh or stand-offish he'll try to befriend them. He's not exactly the best sort to wake up without waiting at least a minute between pokes...or yells and hates waking up before he's ready. He has his really scary moments; like when his first wakes up or is coming out of a large body of water. Being half snake he enjoys his nap time and sun bathing. Even if the sun bothers his eyes. He's only vain about his hair and is constantly either brushing it or braiding it. He braids it when he's nervous or unsure about a choice. He writes with his left hand while drawing with his right. He likes swimming the most of any physical activity usually spending hours in the water or shower. Due to his snake half being entirely aquatic he moves with a fluidity and grace most wouldn't expect. He enjoys dancing to a good tempo, flutes/violins/pianos being his favorite instruments to dance to. This dancer trait carries over to his fighting style as he'll twist and turn as if the fight itself had its own tune. He likes watching others paint, having very little skill in it himself. He generally watches others, sometimes going for hours without blinking. Noticeably that is. He has an inner eyelid like most snakes as well as an outer lid. This allows him to watch others without drying out his eyes. Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy? Koray was sent there due to his family. Both his parents went to the school and met through a school event. They sent their son there as a means of hoping he finds that one who makes the monster in him stir. FEAR Ability: Should he be enrolled I hope to give a Support Ability. The Chill: Standard heal. (<---it would be under this) Withdraw: Using the natural water found in one's body he can use it to promote the healing speed in others or himself. In the case of one who can't create water, he uses his own...in small amounts of course. Physical Description:Eye Colour: Mismtached- Left is a deep azure blue, right is a murky blue gray. Also they have these bright yellow slits which widen with his hunter instinct. Hair Colour/Style: Long to his knees, and a navy blue. Falls in layered locks (similar to Sandman Dreams Hair) with icy blue bangs that hide his glasses/eyes and scars Skin Colour: Faint black bands, coral blue: bands show up wherever his has scales. Clothing Style/Colours: (>w<) Wears a ripped up black long sleeved shirt, a long tattered blue scarf wraps around his shoulders and trails to the ground. A stripped silver and black vest clasps around the shirt as skinny blue jeans clad his legs. Rips in the front of the jeans show off more of his blue skin as the jeans tuck into knee high lace up short heeled black boots. Jeans are belted with a black leather belt, sleeves reach to the second knuckle of his thumbs. Also (most important) his blue sunglasses! Extra: He has a pair of blue horns just around his temples and pointed ears. Slight scale patterns can be seen around the corner of his eyes, back of his hands and along his sides from shoulder to ankle (without clothes). His nails are long and painted blue to match his eyes or hair (Colorist Choice). He also has faint scars on the right side of his face, something more noticeable with his glasses off. When showing off his fangs one can see a dark blue forked tongue. Making his voice come out in a faint accent. References: -for scale pattern and color- Snake
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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 1:24 pm
Helloooo ouo You've got an awesome idea going. We don't have nagas that I know of, but they could be fun to work with. One thing to note is that a Naga in the school would be restricted to a bi-pedal form, meaning they'd need to have two legs rather than a snake body for their lower half. However snakes still have a lot of features you could work with in making the character unique, such as skin patterns and adding some scales to your student. Not to mention fangs and forked tongues. snakes are so coolFor your natural ability, what you have listed feels more like a character quirk than a natural abilities. Natural abilities are like species wide special traits that help them survive or come as a result of an element they're attributed to. For instance, a Fire Demon can produce fire balls, and a Grim Reaper can sometimes sense souls near by that are ready to be reaped. These are unique and helpful to the species. To figure out your natural ability you could maybe decide on a kind of snake you want to base your naga on. You've chosen a water naga so you could go with Water Snakes which includes venomous and constrictor alike, and also has a wider range of different habitats (which could be fun for cultural influence, i find culture influence a lot of fun to play with). You could also go with Sea Snakes which lends itself to a naga that is nearly entirely aquatic. Most sea snakes are super venomous and super pretty, and they're really fun to learn about. With Water Snakes you could consider things like thermal vision which would allow your character to detect people in just about any situation. It doesn't lend itself very well to underwater detection though, as water is usually pretty uniformly cold and heat doesn't travel well through it. Venom resistance is another good one if you wanted to go for a venomous water or sea snake. A lot of citizens of Halloween are venomous in some way so having some degree of resistance would be helpful. It would have to start off as resistance to small amounts of venom and then work its way up as he grows, but it has potential. I also personally suggest this one because the original naga stories depicted them as venomous. Wiki on Hindu NagasI'd highly suggest going through that Wiki page on nagas, and also some pages for MMO and other game nagas because they've been so popular in so many games and have a lot things you could pull for your character. Some minor things to consider with your personality is snakes are largely cold blooded, so they rely on the sun to warm their bodies and keep them able to move. They're very lazy though and do seriously curl up and sleep all the time. It might also be a good idea to expound on some traits and really delve into how and why he acts the way he does. Does he like showing off his fangs because he comes from a proud family? Does he show off because he wants to impress people and make friends that way? How did he become blind in one eye and how does that affect his every day life? Does he struggle with things due to depth perception issues? Does he have a phobia or distress issue that stems from how it happened? SORRY FOR THIS HUGE POST but I'm super happy to see a really neat and classic monster being given some attention. None of this is necessary and you don't have to take all or any of my advice, I just thought I'd give you some ideas to help expand what you have.
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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 1:28 pm
DarkHeartedSorrow Helloooo ouo You've got an awesome idea going. We don't have nagas that I know of, but they could be fun to work with. One thing to note is that a Naga in the school would be restricted to a bi-pedal form, meaning they'd need to have two legs rather than a snake body for their lower half. However snakes still have a lot of features you could work with in making the character unique, such as skin patterns and adding some scales to your student. Not to mention fangs and forked tongues. snakes are so coolFor your natural ability, what you have listed feels more like a character quirk than a natural abilities. Natural abilities are like species wide special traits that help them survive or come as a result of an element they're attributed to. For instance, a Fire Demon can produce fire balls, and a Grim Reaper can sometimes sense souls near by that are ready to be reaped. These are unique and helpful to the species. To figure out your natural ability you could maybe decide on a kind of snake you want to base your naga on. You've chosen a water naga so you could go with Water Snakes which includes venomous and constrictor alike, and also has a wider range of different habitats (which could be fun for cultural influence, i find culture influence a lot of fun to play with). You could also go with Sea Snakes which lends itself to a naga that is nearly entirely aquatic. Most sea snakes are super venomous and super pretty, and they're really fun to learn about. With Water Snakes you could consider things like thermal vision which would allow your character to detect people in just about any situation. It doesn't lend itself very well to underwater detection though, as water is usually pretty uniformly cold and heat doesn't travel well through it. Venom resistance is another good one if you wanted to go for a venomous water or sea snake. A lot of citizens of Halloween are venomous in some way so having some degree of resistance would be helpful. It would have to start off as resistance to small amounts of venom and then work its way up as he grows, but it has potential. I also personally suggest this one because the original naga stories depicted them as venomous. Wiki on Hindu NagasI'd highly suggest going through that Wiki page on nagas, and also some pages for MMO and other game nagas because they've been so popular in so many games and have a lot things you could pull for your character. Some minor things to consider with your personality is snakes are largely cold blooded, so they rely on the sun to warm their bodies and keep them able to move. They're very lazy though and do seriously curl up and sleep all the time. It might also be a good idea to expound on some traits and really delve into how and why he acts the way he does. Does he like showing off his fangs because he comes from a proud family? Does he show off because he wants to impress people and make friends that way? How did he become blind in one eye and how does that affect his every day life? Does he struggle with things due to depth perception issues? Does he have a phobia or distress issue that stems from how it happened? SORRY FOR THIS HUGE POST but I'm super happy to see a really neat and classic monster being given some attention. None of this is necessary and you don't have to take all or any of my advice, I just thought I'd give you some ideas to help expand what you have. I freaking love you right now. THIS is exactly what I was looking for!!! *huggles*
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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 5:47 pm
hey so for the FEAR the mechanics and abilities are fine i just noticed you say "Drawing in all water around him"
in a lot of cases, battles in TiH might not be in places you can draw water from. for example, one event we were all fighting in an old rickety haunted house. just recently we had a battle with a giant queen in a castle of sorts. in a lot of scenarios, your character might not necessarily have water TO pull from. so its not always a good idea to have FEARs based on the environment.
a good fix would be to say that he can create water to heal himself/others :'D
other than that i think u have a great quest and i cant wait to see it in canon /kisses
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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 7:36 pm
chimarii hey so for the FEAR the mechanics and abilities are fine i just noticed you say "Drawing in all water around him" in a lot of cases, battles in TiH might not be in places you can draw water from. for example, one event we were all fighting in an old rickety haunted house. just recently we had a battle with a giant queen in a castle of sorts. in a lot of scenarios, your character might not necessarily have water TO pull from. so its not always a good idea to have FEARs based on the environment. a good fix would be to say that he can create water to heal himself/others :'D other than that i think u have a great quest and i cant wait to see it in canon /kisses Thank you for the feedback~! Edited accordingly.
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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 8:55 pm
I might see about what kinds of hobbies or interests he has? ^^ Is he a spoiled brat who likes other people to amuse him, does he like to party, or does he prefer quiet interactions or his own company? What are the things he likes, food or colors, or kinds of people or even pets or whatever! Is he into reading, gardening, doing forbidden things for the thrill or making jokes? I'm just tossing out a bunch of random things to make you think about how he interacts with others. Shy/moody/friendly? Maybe consider the snake personality he's based off of. Maybe he's confident but friendly or cocky and a bit pushy because of his venom? You can justify pretty much any personality trait.
I wonder if he might be a bit... twitchyor have a bit of a tic because of his eye. I was thinking maybe, he frequently is scanning around the room to make sure he doesn't bump into people? If the wound is very old, he's probably pretty used to compensating, so it doesn't have to be a bad thing or very noticable for other students unless they are fairly perceptive...
Just a caution, I see a lot of characters who are total loners and while there ARE people who like to be alone, it's good to give them reasons to interact and RP Knowing your other characters, I don't think that's going to be a problem here, but I'm putting it in writing for anyone who may be reading other quests for inspiration <3
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Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 9:44 am
Aazhie I might see about what kinds of hobbies or interests he has? ^^ Is he a spoiled brat who likes other people to amuse him, does he like to party, or does he prefer quiet interactions or his own company? What are the things he likes, food or colors, or kinds of people or even pets or whatever! Is he into reading, gardening, doing forbidden things for the thrill or making jokes? I'm just tossing out a bunch of random things to make you think about how he interacts with others. Shy/moody/friendly? Maybe consider the snake personality he's based off of. Maybe he's confident but friendly or cocky and a bit pushy because of his venom? You can justify pretty much any personality trait. I wonder if he might be a bit... twitchyor have a bit of a tic because of his eye. I was thinking maybe, he frequently is scanning around the room to make sure he doesn't bump into people? If the wound is very old, he's probably pretty used to compensating, so it doesn't have to be a bad thing or very noticable for other students unless they are fairly perceptive... Just a caution, I see a lot of characters who are total loners and while there ARE people who like to be alone, it's good to give them reasons to interact and RP Knowing your other characters, I don't think that's going to be a problem here, but I'm putting it in writing for anyone who may be reading other quests for inspiration <3 Edited~!
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Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 1:05 pm
Ohh- I totally spaced on asking this previously- I think him having really toxic venom might need to be thought about as some kind of natural ability. I'm not sure how much you'd want Mod-approval on, but it is something to think about. IN RP- venomous snakes can sometimes have traces of venom in their spit, but basically they choose whether or not to inject venom. Typically, a mature adult doesn't want to waste venom on an annoyance because they need it for hunting. But snakes that overproduce venom are less concerned with waste. Obviously, he isn't going to go around chomping everyone he sees, but this could work into RP in intersting ways, perhaps he can also use venom as an absolute last ditch defense? This is something you'd have to check or get some assistance from shop crew I think... If he nips someone, he'd may have to learn to play nicer after someone's arm puffs up funny for a few hours. I think it would be a fun RP to pre-arrange for him to accidentally play too rough if he's the sort to get carried away. I'm pretty sure there'd be plenty volunteers for some kind of scuffle. Also I researched Sea Kraits and they hunt in groups and are generally mild tempered. I thought those were interesting traits and they seem to mesh pretty well with what you have already ^^
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 5:24 am
Aazhie Ohh- I totally spaced on asking this previously- I think him having really toxic venom might need to be thought about as some kind of natural ability. I'm not sure how much you'd want Mod-approval on, but it is something to think about. IN RP- venomous snakes can sometimes have traces of venom in their spit, but basically they choose whether or not to inject venom. Typically, a mature adult doesn't want to waste venom on an annoyance because they need it for hunting. But snakes that overproduce venom are less concerned with waste. Obviously, he isn't going to go around chomping everyone he sees, but this could work into RP in intersting ways, perhaps he can also use venom as an absolute last ditch defense? This is something you'd have to check or get some assistance from shop crew I think... If he nips someone, he'd may have to learn to play nicer after someone's arm puffs up funny for a few hours. I think it would be a fun RP to pre-arrange for him to accidentally play too rough if he's the sort to get carried away. I'm pretty sure there'd be plenty volunteers for some kind of scuffle. Also I researched Sea Kraits and they hunt in groups and are generally mild tempered. I thought those were interesting traits and they seem to mesh pretty well with what you have already ^^ I was thinking about that as well. But decided that for my sake of overstepping. XD I'd hold off on a second natural ability until a higher power says otherwise.
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Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2014 9:20 am
Reserved for Additional Info I should of put up a few posts earlier...>/
Shall be added once I get a break from RL
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 12:45 pm
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Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 12:27 pm
Hi there! Zoo directed me to your quest to give a little feedback! biggrin
Species > Water naga sounds really cool, just know that he has to have a human-like form while at school (so no snake body). All students come with a pin that binds them to this human form, so off campus and in his dormitory, he would be free to have a snakelike form, but just not during school! Also do you have a bit of backround info on what exactly a water naga is?
Nat ability > Do you mean resistant to all toxins, or just his own? Also there's no need to come up with a second nat ability until he moves onto second year, when approving characters, only the Y1 abilities are looked at!
Personality > What happens if he gets accosted by a teacher / authority figure on his right side? Will he still attack?
FEAR > This sounds workable!
Appearance > I noticed that you said something about having ice skin? What exactly does that entail?
That's all for now, please feel free to quote me with any questions you might have! C:
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Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 1:34 pm
Thank you for taking time to look him over~!!
Its perfectly fine that he's in a human form for school. xD I explained the Water Naga bit as best as I could. Their my spin on the classic monster so I hope that's sorta okay....
All others have been edited and...I mentioned Icy hair color...?
EDIT: OKAY...I see where I said ice skin *derp naga*
That was in ref to how pale his skin is.
Its like...pale icy blue in a fade into his scales really
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Posted: Tue May 12, 2015 8:43 pm
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