[FIN] Private Concert

[Magician Arcana]

Tap tap tap
Adam looked back over the code one last time before sighing and pushing the laptop back onto the desk. He leaned back against the chair and stared at the ceiling, his messy bangs out of his eyes with cute hair clips. This idea was becoming more and more elaborate. It was also become more and more nerve wracking. If his roommate didn't get the message, or didn't understand what Adam was trying to convey... Well, the grunt didn't want to think about it.

Standing up, Adam took out the clips and tossed them onto the desk with a clatter before shuffling to his wardrobe. Being slow was just prolonging the outcome, but logic wasn't working with his legs right now. Adam tugged open the doors and pulled out some light casual clothes. Izaya was out right now, probably working on some sort of project or doing daily chores. Things Adam had gotten out of the way earlier so he could spend the rest of the time preparing for that. Sighing weakly, the grunt stripped and allowed his old sweaty uniform to pile at his feet before he put on his casual relaxing clothes: black top with a funky design, pair of ripped up jeans, and some socks.

Taking all the dirty things to the hamper, he flopped down on his bed and stared again at the ceiling, as if something miraculous would come falling through the tiles to guide him on his way. Nothing came, other than an increase of nervous energy. Well, it was time to get this show on the road.

----

Quote:

To: Nakura
From: Bones
Yahooooo Koibito~! Can you come to the room please? o((*^▽^*))o I'd like to talk to you

 

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

"..."

Nakura was in the middle of cleaning one of the storerooms when he got the message on his dex, raising a brow at the wording and emote. It was horribly familiar and he was beginning to wonder if the sender had formatted it that way on purpose. The message itself was also reminiscent of something he'd sent to both Adam and Jerome a little while ago, so naturally the grunt was suspicious.

Adam didn't usually call him over to talk - he just talked. He must have known Izaya was nearly finished with grunt duties anyway, so why did he seem to want to make certain he met him at their room instead of went anywhere else after? Something was definitely up.

With a sigh, the black-haired grunt put his cleaning supplies away and headed toward the grunt rooms. He stopped at theirs and stared at the door a minute before opening it to peer inside, almost expecting a trap. That emote face had been way too happy.

"I'm here, Addi-chii," a weary voice called. "What did you want to talk about?" The feeling the message he'd received made him think vaguely of high school girls sticking sealed envelopes into cubbyholes.  

[Magician Arcana]

No response. Adam sighed and leaned against the desk, a frown covering his face. Did Izaya not get it, or maybe the grunt wasn't wiling to meet up? After all... Akira had said Iz was trying to pawn him off. It seemed like that, more and more. Adam would have bit the idea hook, line, and sinker had it not been for the fact that Izaya had gotten progressively more grumpy and jealous as they talked.

Adam's rumination as broken by the sound of the door opening. His pulse revved, racing quickly now as if the door had been the ignition. "Ey, come on in. I'm not gonna hurt you." That was a very Izaya like thing to do. Then again, from what his roommate had said, having someone not interested in killing him was a pretty rare occurrence. Better safe than sorry, or in this case, dead.

"Uhm... Stuff about the other day." He looked back at the desk and fiddled his lip ring with his tongue. A faint flush colored his neck and cheeks as he scratched at the desk top, "You know when... Uhm... I got upset and stuff. I told you I wanted to talk about it. And I... I uh. I figured out a way to explain it."

Bones rubbed the back of his neck and locked his eyes on the door, willing it to open further and bring in his roommate.  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

At the assurance that his younger roommate gave about not planning to hurt him, Izaya cast him a frown of incredulity. "You? Hurt me?" he repeated. "You're younger, you're less experienced as a Rocket and at life, you're emotional, and you're sensitive. Not to mention the fact that you've insisted on being my friend despite my protests almost since our first day as roommates. And you're telling me you won't hurt me?" He spoke as if the mere concept was laughable.

Sure, he was used to people wanting to kill him, but he'd come to the conclusion long ago that Adam wasn't likely to ever be one of those people. He'd practically tested it with how cruel he'd been to the other grunt just to keep him at an arm's length. Still the blond persisted in saying that he liked him and acting attached to him. If he couldn't even get him to leave him alone, what in Arceus' name might have driven Adam to want to hurt him?

However, one didn't have to harbor ill intentions towards another to hurt them. There were also more kinds of hurt than physical, as Izaya well knew, so while he argued aloud his reasons to doubt Adam, his true doubts were voiced only in his mind. How do you know you won't hurt me?

Continuing to frown, one brow raised, the informant watched as the younger Rocket glanced at his desk and fidgeted absently. The blush that spread over his complexion was not missed. Nakura's eyes narrowed for a moment, but his voice remained even as he responded. "Is that so?" He entered the room, glancing around as if inspecting the place for signs of what Adam had in mind, before finally hopping onto his own bed and settling there. "And how is that? The normal way of talking won't cut it?"  

[Magician Arcana]

Adam listened to the laundry list of objections Nakura raised. Yes, they were all true. Oddly, none of it offended Adam, who simply listened and nodded along. If Izaya was trying to make him feel small, it wasn't working, but that wasn't what the other was trying to do. He's saying all the ways he's not afraid of me, and why he shouldn't be. But there must be something there that's making him afraid or uncomfortable...

Was it because of how Adam had acted before? Getting upset at their normal banter, getting close to someone else right afterwards... No, that didn't make sense. Adam didn't see himself as much a threat to Izaya. Sure, friendship was a tricky subject between them, but it was fairly one sided. At least, on the surface. Or maybe it was more than just the surface and Adam was holding onto some crazy hope... It wouldn't be the first time. If it wasn't friendship... If it wasn't because Izaya cared... Then what could possibly make the other man afraid or weary of him? Well.. There is that, but... Nah.

"No, not really." He responded and sighed, "It's harder for me to talk about uhm... And this might not make a lotta sense, but I hope it does."

Adam pressed the play button on his computer and listened as the music came through his speakers. It wasn't the same quality as the club, but it was still pretty good. Good enough to sing to. As the short intro played, Adam's nerves calmed considerably.

"In the day by day collision
Called the art of growing up
There's an innocence we look for in the stars
To be taken back to younger days
When there was no giving up
On the people we held closest to our hearts

Yeah it is you that I remember in that glowing
It is you that took my first away from me
It is you I set my standards to... to every walk of life
I haven't met another you since you were with me.

[Chorus]
A brief bout with a razorblade cut me
I freaked out, thinking people didn't love me
I watched closely as the you I knew forgot me
In letting go, I am so proud of what I've done

In a way, I failed religion
I spit the wine from mouth to cup
And I reached for something more than just your God
Dad, you spared not your children
And while your praying hands are up
There's no forgiveness for you! You sick ******** is you that I remember in my bedroom
It is you that took their first away from them
It is you they set their standards to
You wounded them for life
You were a preacher and suppose to be above men

Sing with me

[Chorus]
A brief bout with a razorblade cut me
I freaked out, thinking people didn't love me
I watched closely as the you I knew forgot me
In letting go, I am so proud of what I've done"

By the time the song was over, Adam was in tears, though only a few had spilled down his cheeks. He couldn't bring himself to look at Izaya. Not now. He couldn't believe what he had done and already the words of anger were cascading inside his mind. Damn it. This was a bad, bad idea.  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

The black-haired grunt sat, perplexed as Adam's song began, but kept silent throughout. He listened hard, never once looking away from the singer, letting the words linger in his mind as he let them seep in. When the teen was done, Izaya tried to conceal it, but he was visibly shaken at the sight of his roommate's tears. It wasn't as if he hadn't seen teenagers in such states before, even because of him. A certain bleach-haired adolescent came to mind.

This one was different, though. There was no way he was about to admit it - not to anyone or himself - but he wasn't as impervious to this kid's emotions as he had been about the other's before. Had he changed? Or was it Adam's fault? He didn't want to think about that right now. All he wanted right that second was for the usually-cheerful Rocket to stop crying because it was distressing him in ways he couldn't understand. He could properly puzzle out the meaning of the song sang later.

"...Adam?" he asked, his voice soft. He got up to put a hand on the young man's shoulder.  

[Magician Arcana]

Every inch of Adam's soul screamed. Run. Run. Get out of there now before it was too late. It had been too soon. Adam should have realized that. It was too soon. They hadn't even known one another a whole year and here he was. Telling Izaya something so big, so secretive. It was a secret so very few knew, but Adam felt like Izaya needed to know. To understand him better. To understand why he had been upset before. Adam had ripped open a wound that never healed and now he was sobbing softly, biting his lip to keep from exploding as his shoulder quaked.

In the darkness of his mind, a warped version of Izaya rose. Cruel, sneering, mocking. Laughing at him for trusting someone so deeply. For giving him so much amo. He'd just use it now, wouldn't he? Use it to hurt him, to sell to others for the right price. The monster kept laughing. It's voice jarred his already weak nerves.

He didn't expect Izaya's hand, or the softness of his voice. Adam raised his head, his brown eyes swimming with tears and wide in surprise. Shakily he reached out with one hand, but stopped before he touched Izaya. Filthy. He didn't deserve to touch the info broker. Weakly, through soft sobs and tears, he asked, "C-can I please hug you?"

He wanted a drink. He needed a drink. But at that moment he needed his roommate, his friend, the most.  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

Izaya's brows furrowed when Adam hesitated in reaching out. He couldn't understand what was going through the other's mind or why he was so upset, but he wanted it to stop. Just managing to make out the weak words spoken by the teen, he didn't bother replying. He just put both arms around him as enthusiastically as he had on the day they'd met.

"Shh...please don't cry, Addi-chii," he pleaded, the concern in his voice startling himself. He quickly attempted to amend that. "If anyone found out, I'd probably be put to death before they even bothered to ask what I'd done to upset you." Whether he was joking or not was anyone's guess, but he offered the blond a playful smile while grabbing some tissues to dry his tears. "I've gotten in trouble for less, after all."  

[Magician Arcana]

As soon as the arms were around him, Adam latched on. His fingers found the looseness of Izaya's shirt and gripped tightly into them as he squashed against the other's chest. Maybe if he hadn't been so upset he'd have noticed the similarity between the first time they met and now. The fake enthusiasm of their first meeting compared to the real caring that was right then. All Adam knew was that Izaya had hugged him, and it meant more to the blonde teen than he could ever, ever say.

Adam hiccuped out a laugh at the smile, the tears still falling. That wound had never really healed. It was filled with so many things. Alcohol, dancing, fighting, laughter... None of it seemed to really heal it. So it gaped, and Adam cried, big tears that stained his and Izaya's shirt while the other grabbed tissues. "I... I wouldn't l-let them. I'd f-fight them." He stumbled over the words between snuffles and hiccups.

In all honesty, Adam likewise did not know what to say. He'd poured himself into a song, and instead of being shunned... Well Izaya was actually acting like he cared. It was scary, and weird, and it felt very right. "I'll.. I'll try to c-calm d-down. I'm sorry."

Adam's voice quaked again as he pressed his face back against Izaya's chest, unwilling to relinquish the older grunt, "I... I just... I wanted you t-to know that... B-because ... Because I don't know. I've never told anyone this before. I don't know why but I felt like you needed to know." The darker, twisted Izaya was gone for now. A relic of the past, having faded away in a moment. The new one... Was warm. And caring. And probably just as, if not even more, confused as Adam.

"I know I... I'm a s-shitty roommate a-and I.. C-cause you a l-lot of grief and and I'm annoying, but p-please don't get rid... rid of me Izaya. Please don't." This was so pathetic, but Adam couldn't stop. Couldn't stem the flow of words or tears, "Please, Koi... Iza."

He whispered softly, "You make me happy."  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

Heck if Izaya knew who 'them' was - perhaps foster parents or siblings - but he wasn't about to ask for verification. Especially since he thought he had a pretty good idea of what Adam fought them for, which was more than enough information to understand the source of his pain.

It was somewhat awkward trying to comfort the taller grunt with their size difference, but as Izaya was used to giving hugs to just about anybody (particularly those who didn't want them), he ignored the oddness of the situation. Listening to Adam's explanation about why he wanted him to know, the older grunt attempted a weak chuckle.

"Well, gathering information is what I do. And I know how to keep a secret." He smiled slightly. "Besides, I was being a jerk. If you hadn't told me, how could I have known just how much more of a jerk I was being than I had intended? Even I'm not that bad."

His smile faded when Adam pleaded with him not to get rid of him. "Tch! You're one of my beloved humans~ You couldn't cause me grief if you tried," he lied. "Being alone without a roommate was far less bearable than having you around, anyway. Even if you are obnoxiously astute at seeing through me." Oh, s**t, he'd gone and admitted it. There'd be no living with him now. He looked off to a corner of the ceiling, embarrassed.

"That doesn't mean you're any less stupid, though, if I, of all people, make you happy. My humans aren't as interesting when they're happy. Don't you know that's why I work so hard to make them hate me? And here you are telling me all of that work was in vain!"

Damn it. He was in so deep. When had Adam managed to get so close to his heart? The thorn that remained of Aila's efforts still ached. He didn't need any more darts thrown his way, much less piercing their target.  

[Magician Arcana]

Slowly, but surely, the grunt began to calm. Knowing that Izaya could keep a secret meant a lot. It was unspoken, but Adam understood the meaning. It would be safe. Hell, he even apologized in a roundabout way. Things were going good and coalesced into a feeling of warmth at the word 'my'. Sure, it was 'my beloved humans', but Adam couldn't help but smile. He wasn't going to be abandoned.

Slowly the teen uncurled his fingers, though he kept his arms around Izaya. Laughing weakly, he sniffled roughly before speaking. His voice was rough from the tears and singing, "I... I can keep a secret too... Though I guess this probably doesn't seem like it." Adam glanced to the floor, a bitter self-depreciating smile covering his face.

"I guess... There are always exceptions to the rule. Cause I don't think I could hate you. Sorry." His body still shook from the revelation. It felt hollow and devoid of all substance. Adam swayed and leaned heavily against the desk, his arms loosening so he didn't pull Izaya off balance, "******** sorry."  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

Izaya smirked at Adam's words about not seeming like he could keep a secret. "Eh? You seemed to do a pretty good job to me. I certainly wasn't able to guess why you were so upset all of a sudden before. Thanks for informing me."

With a heavy sigh at Adam's apology, the black-haired grunt shook his head, rolled his eyes, and shifted his weight to knock the teen toward the nearest bed.

"You'd better lie down before you trip over your own feet," he warned.  

[Magician Arcana]

Being knocked back towards a bed was not a part of the plans. His legs were also no longer cooperating like the good limbs they could be. Yelping, Adam stumbled and fell into a pile onto his own bed. Smiling shyly, he wiggled and got comfortable before rubbing at his swollen eyes. "Ah... Thanks for listening. I... I wasn't sure how you'd react."  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

"Hm. Well it's not as if it's your fault," the informant answered matter-of-factly, flourishing a hand. "I don't know what you might have expected me to do. Though those tears were a cheap tactic. And I'm not fond of being indebted to others. Move over."

Flopping on the bed beside his roommate, he sighed again, placing his hands atop each other over his stomach. "I guess I owe you some information now too, don't I?" He grinned grimly. "But I'm not singing it."  

[Magician Arcana]

"Hey man, if I could have not cried, you better ******** believe I wouldn't have." Adam chuckles softly and scooted so Izaya could sit beside him on the bed. Staring at the ceiling, Adam nodded, "I guess you do... I mean hearing you sing would be awesome, but you don't have to."

Adam wasn't quite sure what he wanted to learn about Izaya. Thinking about it, he hardly knew anything about his roommate, other than the little he had pestered out of him. There was the fact he had lost his strikes in the first place. Oh, and that guy Delic. He was somehow important to Iz, "What are you willing to share? I... It feels weird asking for something specific, y'know?"