Q&A Series: Can Someone Be In a Homosexual Relationship and Still Be a Believer? (Part 1/10)

BY MATT MOORE , CP GUEST COLUMNIST
March 10, 2015|8:19 pm
matt moore

A few days ago I sent out an email to my blog subscribers asking them to send me their top questions about sexuality and the Christian faith. I've picked out the 10 most common questions I received and I'm going to answer one per day over the next 10 days. One of the hopes I had in attempting this blog series was that the discussion could go beyond the topic of homosexuality and encompasses the whole sphere of sexuality. And I'm happy to say that based on the questions I received, it will.

Here is today's question is:

Can someone be in a homosexual relationship and still be a believer?

I would say that it's not probable, but it is possible. Here are a couple of possibilities that come to mind:

1) I have heard many stories of people who came to know Christ while in a same-sex partnership. Rosaria Butterfield is an example of this. If you haven't read her book The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, I highly recommend you do. Testimonies like Rosaria's shouldn't be a surprise to those who claim to believe that the saving grace of God comes to people right where they are, not after they've separated themselves from all of their sinful behaviors. The love of Christ can and does invade the hearts of people in same-sex relationships; and the love of Christ also compels people away from sinful same-sex relationships and into a holy way of life. It may take time – sometimes more time than most Christians have the patience for – but if the Lord saves someone in a romantic same-sex relationship, He will also lead them out of it.

2) Redeemed followers of Jesus struggle. Period. I believe the biblical norm for the Christian's life is a life of increasing victory over the sin that indwells them. But everyone who's been a Christian longer than four days can point to seasons of their walk with Christ when their sinful desires have overwhelmed them and drawn away from Christ. I surely can, anyway.

Two and a half years after my conversion, I became involved in a same-sex relationship for a couple of months. The struggle inside of me during this time was ferocious. I was torn between two sides of myself; two belief systems; two world-views. One hour I would feel that I needed to repent and return to fellowship with Christ, and the very next hour I would feel that I needed to reject an orthodox understanding the Bible and fully embrace the same-sex relationship I was in. By the grace of God and through the love of my church, I eventually was able to make a faithful decision. I broke up with the guy I was seeing and held tight to my brothers and sisters in Christ as I pursued restored fellowship with the Lord. And I was restored. Not only restored, but became more enamored with the gospel of Jesus Christ than I'd ever been. It would have been easy for someone stepping into my life during those two months to diagnose me as an unbeliever, but my sustained repentance and increasing love for Christ in the years following this season would prove that diagnosis false. I think it's a wise rule to never judge a person's spiritual standing by one season of their life.

Those two possibilities being stated, with heavy conviction I will again say that is it not the norm for a Christian to be involved in a same-sex relationship. It is a possible situation, but not a probable situation.

Those who profess faith while indulging in sin with no remorse shouldn't be comforted or assured of salvation, but should be graciously warned by Christians who love them that if they persist in sin, they may prove their faith to be inauthentic. And inauthentic faith is not saving faith. There needs to be a constant call for repentance over the lives of people who, without remorse or desire for change, persist in a sinful way of life.

Tomorrow I'll be tackling the following question: "The world says that sexual orientation is determined at birth and therefore unchangeable. So how can they consistently say that someone's determined-at-birth gender is changeable?"

I'll be posting this blog series to Facebook each day, but if you'd like to receive it by email (and also be able to participate in future surveys, etc.) you can subscribe via email on the right side of this page if you're on a computer, or by scrolling down a little further below picture if you're on a mobile device.

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