[FIN] He Loves You Not

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

It was nice to be outside in the sun again. And in civilian clothes, no less. The informant had on a jacket to keep off the coming chill of autumn, but it wasn't his usual outfit. He couldn't afford to draw too much attention to himself, what with his face being recognized as a known Rocket.

He wore sunglasses to hide his eyes as he strolled around Camphoreon with his hands in his pockets. The air was fresh, the sunshine was warm on his skin, and there were people all around. Normal people going about their everyday lives.

Speaking of...he had noticed that he hadn't been the only one to check out of the base that day. Camphoreon City was one of his favorite places, but that wasn't the main reason he had come there. With his prior knowledge of certain things, he had a feeling he would find someone - or two - people he knew, and he thought it would be intriguing to see how they were getting along. For this reason, he visited all the cafes, parks, and other places he could think of where one or both of the people he was looking for could be.  

[Magician Arcana]

It was a nice day, and Adam was going to take advantage of that to the max. In a nice, outside cafe pavilion he sat and sipped a drink. Instead of his normal attire, he wore a simple shirt, jeans, and sneaks with a worn leather jacket. After having run into Diantha the rocket was starting to worry that they might look for those on the mission. After all, those rockets were responsible with literally kidnapping the god of life. Surely the league was on high alert and, while the faces hadn't been made public, higher officials probably had information.

Or that's what Adam figured. It was part of the reason his hair was grown out to a fluffier, longer state, and his piercings were in, and his style slightly more neutral and not as edgy. While the blonde could care less if he himself were caught, it was an all together matter for the man who sat beside him. A faint smile colored his face as he peered at him over his cup of hot tea.

Akira's hair was longer too and slowly turning silver. It was a stunning reversal, really. Green eyes and white hair, and quite long. Not at all the short brown and brown that Adam was well acquainted with, but it didn't bug him. Akira was always Akira and that was good enough for him.

Reaching over, he tucked a loose strand of his boyfriend's hair behind his ear, grinning at him toothily, "It looks good.. I can't get over the difference. Really, it's cool. So ********' cool." Adam set his cup down and leaned back in his chair, realxing in the shade of the table umbrella.  

[Akira Midoriyama]

Akira cringed as Adam tucked his hair behind his ear, tickled by the gesture. "Warn me when you're going to do that, will you?" He couldn't hide his blush at the compliments showered upon him, though. "Oh, please. You're just saying that because this color-changing business is one of those things you fashion people do to get that 'cool and sexy' edgy look, along with tattoos and random piercings. Admit it," he teased.

Sipping his coffee, he leaned over to ruffle the blonde's fluffy hair in return, enjoying the feel of it as he pretended to be doing so for condescending reasons instead. "One day, I'm going to get a magnet and just see how much of your face sticks to it." He laughed. "Maybe you'll end up stuck kissing a Magnemite for the rest of eternity."  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

"Oh my. After all that money and hard work to get you to blend in, you blow it all off and shed your disguise. Is this all for your new boyfriend? I guess it must be true love." A pause. "Oh, but wait...isn't that what you thought last time?"  

[Akira Midoriyama]

Akira stiffened and stood. just beyond their table stood a man a couple inches taller than him who leaned against a wall of the cafe. The newcomer smiled slyly as he gazed at the couple through his shades, tilting them down somewhat so he could peer at them with a crimson gaze.

"Are you...?" Akira began, but he stopped himself short. He already knew the answer. With those words and that smile, there was only one person it could have been.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a angrily quite voice, walking up to the informant. "If you don't leave now, I'm turning you in as a Rocket. I saw your face at the PokeCon. I know who you are."  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

Izaya laughed aloud and waved a hand. "You and this whole city. Maybe even the region. But what does that matter?" he nodded toward Adam with a wicked grin. "If you turn me in, he'll be in trouble, too. They'll do a background check on you to find out how you knew me, and then they''ll do the same to everyone you know. Your cover will be completely and utterly destroyed, along with whatever else you've built up over these past few years."

He shrugged. "Maybe you don't care about that any more, given your change in appearance..." Izaya met Adam's hazel eyes. "...but what about your koibito?"  

[Magician Arcana]

Grimacing, he shook his head, "I'd rather not be stuck doing that, and as much as I would love to be your new magnet holder, the weight and tugging on the piercings would hurt pretty ******** badly dude." Adam couldn't help but laugh at the absurd idea, bemused that Akira would even come up with something so far fetched.

Adam didn't really hear anything that the newcomer said past the fifth word. It felt as if the world had stopped moving and every inch of his body was wired with energy, as if a single spark would explode every nerve. Stomach clenching, he stood with a gape mouth and eyes as wide and round as a full moon. Izaya. No. That wasn't possible. "Iza..." Adam breathed his name, his shoulders slumping as he did and the shock in his eyes fading to uncontrolled joy.

He didn't realize how Akira reacted. He couldn't. At that moment his first reaction was to move. Bursting from his chair, he closed what little distance was between him and his ex roommate. His arms flung around the smaller man, pulling him into a tight hug as words began to tumble out. He remembered something about Koibito or something, but in the haze of excitement Adam didn't even register it as a jab." You're alive! You're alive! ********... ********! ********! you're alive and you're here and you're not trapped and." Adam was practically shaking. He pushed Iza out by the shoulders, his hands like vice grips to look him over intensely.

"You're here." Adam was practically in tears, the look of relief and joy unbidden  

[Akira Midoriyama]

Akira wasn't sure how he expected Adam to act, but it certainly wasn't like that. Just because they were both Rockets didn't mean they had to know each other, right? And furthermore...this seemed to be beyond just being acquaintances. Suddenly the trainer felt like a third wheel, faded out of Adam's sight, while the blonde seemed caught up in a world closed off to everyone but himself and the informant. Adam even started to call to Izaya by name before running to him.

As he passed Akira, the joy in Adam's eyes was unmistakable. What? What was this? Jealousy bubbled up in him, familiar and hot and he hated it. It was just like all those times with Ryuu when he flirted with others, or even between Kaoru and Tori. Had he been deceived all along? Part of him told himself he was jumping to conclusions too quickly and that this wasn't necessarily how it looked like. But the other part of him was louder.

How had he not seen it before? Every time Adam mentioned his precious roommate, the one that seemed to cause him nothing but pain, Akira's gut wrenched and he'd wanted to punch whomever this was in the face for hurting the blonde. He didn't understand why Adam would be so attached to someone who treated him like trash. But if it was this man...Izaya Orihara...it made sense.

Even before he'd known he was a Rocket, even as a complete outsider to the commoner world, Akira had recognized Izaya as a dangerous person. Who wouldn't, when he gave off such a sinister aura and spoke such sly words with a silver tongue? All he had to do was open his mouth and talk to someone for them to understand what kind of man they were dealing with. Rocket or not, it would be difficult for anyone to be convinced that he was a decent human being.

But then why? Why was Adam acting so happy to see him? Evidently, he'd even expected the other to be dead, and Akira couldn't help thinking the world might have been a little better off for it. Was he deluding Adam somehow? Manipulating him? Was this Stockholm's syndrome or whatever the hell it was called? He didn't know, but in a matter of moments, Akira realized he didn't care. His heart immediately froze over, bracing itself for any impact that might threaten to damage, shatter, or otherwise break it.

It scared him how ready he was to do so, too. Adam had made everything seem too good to be true before, and now Akira felt that, deep down, he'd known it was only a matter of time before he would have to put his defenses back up. After all, Adam was still several years younger than him. What did he know about love?

"Adam," Akira said icily, his body stiff, "You're making a scene. Quit shouting profanities and lower your voice." A child. Unbridled and unrestrained in his passions. How could he have been so stupid as to allow himself to fall in love with this child?

Right...because Ryuuzaki had been one, too. Akira been drawn in again by what he knew was forbidden to him. He had forgotten. He couldn't allow his head to be ruled by his emotions; not like them - those reckless, fool-hardy playboys who lived for the moment and nothing else. Where had he'd thought this would lead, anyway? Adam was a Rocket, for Arceus' sake! They had no future!

Adam almost looked like he was going to cry. A crybaby as well; a good actor. Someone to make others feel needed; that they had no one else to comfort them. Again, just like Ryuu. The signs had all been there, but again, like the idiot he was, Akira had ignored them. He'd been played like a harp. It was the same thing all over again. How could he have been so blind?  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

The crimson-eyed man dropped his sunglasses when Adam embraced him. Izaya had taken care not to look at the blonde any more than necessary to get his point across, but that didn't seem to matter to Adam. The informant's mouth remained a straight line and he might have made a move to dodge the hug, but with his depth perception off, he couldn't determine when and how to do so. To even try might have tipped off the observant Rocket grunt that something was wrong, so instead, Izaya just tensed and allowed the taller man to do as he wished.

During this time, though, he watched Akira out the corner of his eye and was not disappointed. The corner of his mouth curling just slightly enough so the trainer would notice, he winked cheekily at him before returning his expression to its neutral state to address Adam in a harsh murmur. He didn't have to speak very loudly with the blonde so close.

"Your boyfriend's right, idiot. Now's not the time or place; shut up, already. People are staring and I had a hard enough time finding clothes that didn't give me away at a glance." He looked about at the others seated at the outdoor cafe before attempting to pull away from Adam so he could pick up his sunglasses. "Let's go somewhere more private."  

[Magician Arcana]

The first reaction was immediate and uncontrolled. Like a flick of water into a pan of hot oil. Adams happiness and relief exploded, but the recipient of that joy seemed all together unfazed. Nothing. Not a frown, not a flinch, not even a dodge. Izaya had taken the abuse like a bored doll, waiting for its owner to stop playing with it.

Once the instant relief faded, a new emotion flooded the void created by the loss of the first - Confusion and annoyance. The last time he had seen Izaya the informant had mutilated his own hands to push Adam away. But now he accepted all if it carelessly...

Adam didn't have long to wonder why. Akira's icy tone struck a chord within the blonde. His shoulders tensed as his stomach clenched. All the pieces clicked as Adam stepped back from Izaya. His smile had faded into a thin lipped stare, and his eyes a dark, intimidating hazel.

"Nah," his response and face was as measured and controlled as his shoulders and hands were rigid and sharp, "S'good to see you, man, but I got more important s**t to do."

Turning for the first time to Akira, Adams step faltered. The damage was worse than expected. Regaining his resolve, he returned to his boyfriends side and gently, but firmly, grabbed his forearm. It was rare when the blonde became serious or mature, but it always seemed to come as a full body experience. His eyes steeled, his expression became neutral, his body firm but fluid, and his voice calm but commanding, "Let's go."  

[Akira Midoriyama]

Despite Adam's firm grip and Izaya's suggestion they change locations, Akira didn't seem to want to move. He remained rooted to the spot as he forced himself to ask something, trying to keep his voice from wavering or cracking. "Adam," he began, swallowing to wet his dry throat. The knot in it remained. "...Is this the roommate you told me so much about?"

He almost attempted a fake smile, but it hurt too much. "You never told me you thought he was dead." Maybe that's why he'd been spending so much time with Akira lately and hadn't mentioned said roommate. He hadn't had Izaya to cling to, so he'd used Akira as a replacement.

"What 'important s**t' do you have to do? Me?" That was a low blow and the trainer knew it, but he couldn't help himself. Maybe Adam had noticed his lapse in his lovey-dovey boyfriend act, but it was too late. It had already been seen through. "Now that he's back, why don't you just go with him instead? You shared a room; why not a bed, too?"  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

"We don't share a room anymore. Or a bed," Izaya answered off-handedly, not bothering to deny they hadn't in the past. It was true, after all, and though perhaps not in the way Akira imagined, the informant didn't feel particularly inclined to clarify that. "But it's nice to know I was talked about~"

Acting as if the events in the brig had never happened, the black-haired man put his sunglasses back on and stuck his hands back in his pockets. "So, Akira-chan, how much did you tell him? Your name? Your family's name? Your marriage, past lovers, mistakes?" He smirked a little. "I'm guessing you didn't mention the transaction you and I made some years ago before you came to Kodo."

"Take it from an information broker - everyone has something to hide, whether you're a wanted criminal or not. You can't expect to know every little thing about anyone, no matter how close you are to them. He doesn't know everything about you, so why should he have to tell you everything about himself?" Izaya shook his head. "Whatever you might have told yourself, you're not the only person in his life, so don't play the part of the jealous lover and think him to be exclusively yours."  

[Magician Arcana]

They weren't going to move, were they? Akira seemed determined to keep standing there, and the blonde wasn't strong enough to scoop him up and leave.

"Yeah," Adam's voice was soft and calm, "That is my old roommate."

The next comment was harder to explain, but he felt there was only one way to go, "I didn't want to talk about it. It hurt and it was out of my control. Plus I knew you didn't like him from what I had said... I figured talking about his inevitable death would be bad or something. You know what I mean? Like what was the point. We stopped being roommates months before he was shuffled off to die, he was effectively out of my life."

Sighing gently, he shifted position so his body blocked out Izaya from Akiras vision. His words were firm, but gentle, "No, I meant I could tell what he was doing here and it's working. He knows his games don't work on me, but they are on you. He is going to hurt you, and I won't have it. My important s**t is getting you out if here so we can talk, and so he can't keep twisting words and using whatever is upsetting you now to his advantage."

The last comment sealed Adams worries. Anger bubbled below, but he forced himself to have a calm facade to Akira. After all, it wasn't his boyfriend he was upset at, "I had a knee jerk reaction, Akira. If you suddenly saw your ex-wife standing there, wouldn't you be shocked too? Of course I don't want to go with him, nor share any of that with him." Sighing, Adam rubbed his own face with a free hand, "You're comparing me to him again, 'Kira. Please, stop."

Izaya's words had become more or less background noise, but some things filtered through. As long as they stood there, Izaya would have the upper hand the last comment was inflammatory to the max and made the rocket stiffen, "He can act any way he feels and feel anything he wants, Nakura. Shut up." Adam looked over his shoulder at the other man, and when done speaking he looked back to his icy lover, "I am exclusively yours and I have been for months since we've dated. You're upset and something has made those past pains flare up. I don't know what it was, but if we stand here there's no way we can figure it out and talk. You know this guy uses half truths to his advantage and he's purposely trying to upset you. Please, please, can we go?"  

[Akira Midoriyama]

Prior to Adam blocking Izaya from his vision, Akira stared at the ground, tugging his bangs incessantly. When the blonde moved, he continued tugging as he looked up at the taller young man. Various expressions flashed across his face; some mixed, some dominating - sadness, anger, confusion, jealousy, disbelief...but mostly pain and disappointment. Could he trust anything Adam said? Did he dare?

"Don't try to pin this on him," he answered in a low voice. "He may be a jerk, but he's not the one who determined your actions just now. You say his games don't work on you? That's probably because it takes one to know one, doesn't it? You seem to know an awful lot about how he works and manipulates people." Maybe he wasn't being fair, but the look on Adam's face upon seeing Izaya still burned in his mind. "He can't hurt me; he's not the one I care about. That's all you, Adam." He averted his gaze again and spoke softer, his words nearly a whisper. "How do I know you aren't the one playing games? Or that you don't want to leave because I might figure something out that you don't want me to?"

Adam's mention of Akira's dead wife followed by his request to stop comparing him to his first love struck the silver-haired trainer hard. Was it true? Would he have acted the same way if it had been Momoko standing there? No, Momo was nothing like Izaya... From what Akira recalled, Izaya had been pretty abusive to Adam, at least mentally and perhaps verbally if not physically, though that too was a possibility. And yet Adam still ran to him like that. It made no sense. "Maybe I wouldn't compare you if you stopped making it so easy," Akira shot back. "Your roommate was awful to you. Cruel, even. Why the hell would you be that happy about someone who only enjoys toying with people or tossing them aside?" He shook his head. "Maybe it's a manipulator thing, because I don't get it."

As he listened to Adam chastise Izaya, Akira felt his eyes watering. No, no no no, he didn't cry in public. It was something he told himself from his days as Roka, but it wasn't something he wanted to change now. His pride and dingity were at stake. "Mine?" He said in a small voice. "No one is exclusively anyone's, Adam. It wouldn't be healthy for either of us if I kept you all to myself. And yet...is that what you want me to believe?" Something snapped. "WHY?! Why can't we figure it out standing here?! Are you saying even his half truths are enough to break us apart?"  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

Izaya watched and listened to all this with grim amusement. He almost felt sorry for Adam. The blonde was trying to prevent what he saw was happening, but it only seemed to backfire with Akira. Perhaps at one time, just the exchange and the looks on their faces would have been enough for the info broker, but this time it was something more that motivated him. There was a darkness; a deep envy that consumed him when he saw the pair.

Just like Jerome and Zacharie or Hayes and Aulus or Tambrey and Rory or even Faleen and her late Umbreon. That connection with another being...that was something he could never have and he knew it. The closest he had come before might have been with Aila, though that had ended before he'd even realized it existed. The next closest - his partnership with Faleen - was gone.

And Adam? As far as Izaya was concerned, Adam was a danger to him. He may have wanted that connection, but he didn't allow himself to have it for a reason, and Adam threatened to break that rule. Furthermore, though he didn't allow others to get close to him, that didn't mean he didn't feel some sort of contempt for those who 'stole' away the attention of his 'toys'. Zacharie had taken away Jerome. And now Akira was occupying Izaya's former place in Adam's mind. The informant couldn't stand it.

So, like a spoiled brat who couldn't stand others being happy while he himself was miserable, Izaya decided to drag down with him anyone he could. Adam had always seemed to want to be close to him...so why not make him miserable to serve as company?

"Ouch, Addi-chii. Do you really think so little of me?" he sighed. "That I would come all the way here on my day off and track you down just to get at your boyfriend? That stings." He ran a hand through his black hair. "But what about you? You don't even care enough about Akira-chan to want to know the details of why we know one another? I thought for sure you would...unless he told you already?"

The Rocket traitor shrugged. "I just thought it was a bit odd that all you seem to be doing is defending when he's just as guilty as you are when it comes to keeping things to himself. Though you seem to know about his dramatic, tragic, soap opera past with his ex, so that's something." A malicious grin crept across his face. "And to have been compared enough to recognize when he's doing it without him even mentioning the guy? He must do it a lot. Are you sure this isn't a rebound relationship, Addi-chii? Tsk, tsk, tsk." He clicked his tongue pityingly as he shook his head. "How sad. No wonder this is such a fragile relationship."