[Bonfire PRP] Super Smash Brothers [Smash and SMASH] [Fin]

[Scaramouche Fandango]

Smash-and-Mash was more than happy to help out at this bash. Food preparation was the big totoma's favorite thing in the world, and there were dozens of eager kin happily bringing in extra goodies as the night went on. A small crowd of kin had gathered around her, and she was quite happy to give a demonstration. Normally she just got to do this for a small audience in her tribe's lands or by herself, so having a crowd around had brought her energy to new, slightly terrifying places. She prepared the food with an aplomb that could only be described as eschatologically improbable and unsettling to children; what she was doing was less "careful cookery" and more "violently dismembering vegetables while shouting the narration for the entire process."

"First, you must place your ingredients in your mixing basin! This can be either a flattish rock with a depression- not too flat, that will be impossible- or a big turtle shell! I prefer the turtle shell because it is very portable! Then you must SMASH! It is important that all of the little bits are very little indeed and carefully mixed, so while you must mash you must also SMASH! See how I am doing it, very carefully and yet with great enthusiasm and energy! Once you have SMASHed to your heart's content and to the appropriate amount for the recipe, put everything aside and prepare your pumpkin seeds! This is a very interesting part of the process, for you must SMASH the pumpkins to get at the seeds! This serves two purposes because the pumpkin is delicious, as are the seeds! You must SMASH, but you must do so with great judiciousness! Stop periodically to pick out the seeds- you can then continue to SMASH!" Each time she shouted SMASH, her voice rose in volume and enthusiasm. It was not difficult to discern this creature's joy in life.  

[So Long Gay Bowser]

It had started as just a niggling little noise at the corner of Smash's attention. She was very much occupied in a wrestling match with a few over-eager Totoma (and motherfather wasn't THAT a good time!), when it seemed someone was calling to her. Easy enough to ignore- her feats of strength had garnered her plenty of fans in the past. In the midst of a rather impressive suplex (a grand feat of strength), it happened again. Then once more when she was tossing a hapless victim out of the way. As it got louder and louder, Smash finally accepted... whoever this fan was, they were incredibly persistent! Setting down the kin she had lifted (A little one- not one to be TOO rough with), Smash offered a grin and promises to return, then trotted off in the direction her name was coming from.

There! A grand totoma, standing up on the stage. Pushing through the assembled crowd, Smash muttered pardon's and s'cuse me's, and eventually pulled herself on stage. Huffing aloud, Smash cocked her head to the side.

"Oi! What're you yellin' for me so much for, huh? An' what's all this lot, then?" She asked a bit too loudly, looking down at the food.

"You need the great SMASH's help?"  

[Scaramouche Fandango]

Smash-and-Mash's eyes got big and sparkly as a stranger pushed up onto the stage. How wonderful! Oh, she was always so happy to get the chance to work with somebody.

"A VOLUNTEER!" she roared, dragging the kimeti front and center. "Look upon this brave kimeti, everybody! They will SMASH with me, Smash-and-Mash! Yes, together the two of us are going to show you how to properly prepare... VEGETABLES! They'll turn into a beautiful sauce and go upon the shredded squash that we will boil!" With a grand sweeping movement, she knocked all of the ingredients in front of her to the ground. "We must start with a clean slate! Literally, you must clean your slate so that the ingredients of the prior meal are not in the new one!" She laid out a pile of tomatoes and peppers in front of the doe and herself, then stomped hard on the ground to jostle them out of their positions and into a vague approximation of a line. "Now, brave volunteer, we must start with the sauce! ALWAYS start with the sauce! You look like a fighter- envision these vegetables as your greatest enemy! Pound them to a pulp with your hooves! SMASH!" She stood back to let her volunteer take center stage- she just knew the other doe would do something heroically brilliant.

 

[So Long Gay Bowser]

Volunteer? Well. That was not what she had started out intending, but Smash was delightfully pleased by the turn of events. Yet another glorious event for the wondrous Smash to partake in! Nodding along by the explanation, Smash took very serious notes as to her role. And basically... it was to smash! Grinning with wicked delight, Smash turned one dramatic pose- then another- before raising onto her back hooves, and slamming down with all of her might into the vegetables. Right hook! Left hook! With her careful yet incredibly cool strokes, the vegetables before Smash were pulverized thoroughly. For the sake of a great show, she threw her chin to the air, and smashed it with a hearty CRUNCH against the pumpkin. It was one of her favorite things- the crack and smash of her jaw against the unsuspecting. Her armor was her birthright- raising her head again, she turned back to the Totoma with delight.

"NOW WHAT?!" She roared, too enthusiastic for her own good. But enthusiasm was GREAT! How else were you supposed to get the most out of life?!  

[Scaramouche Fandango]

"We SCRAPE THEM INTO A BOWL FOR LATER!" Smash-and-Mash was duly impressed by the jaw slam. That was worth at least a hundred awesome points. "The next thing we do... is add the zucchini and squash spirals! These are achieved by running your squashes or gourds over a very thin sharp rock! Doing it the day of is the best... BUT IT IS QUICKER to make a bunch and dry 'em, then use them later! These, however, are VERY FRESH!" She picked up a bunch of strips of various-colored squashes and slammed them into a turtle shell. "Nice? Yes! Now it's time to stir! As a general rule, the more you stir... THE BETTER IT IS!" She shoved the bowl in front of her volunteer and handed her a stick. "Ready? Let's go!" She looked at her volunteer full in the face. "How. Fast. Can. You. STIR???"
 

[So Long Gay Bowser]

With more delicacy than typical, Smash took the stick from Smash and smiled around it at her fantastic cooking companion. Really, it was a necessity- were she not careful with the wood, it would be SMASHED by her incredibly fancy jaw! And what a shame that would be, to waste a perfectly good stick like this! Cocking her head to the side, Smash prepped the stick in the bowl, and waited for other-Smash's command. At the word go... the nightmare began.

To say SMASH was incredibly talented with her magical jaw of smashing was an understatement. It was probably the jaw of the motherfather themselves. With all the strength in her great and powerful neck, Smash whirled the stick one way, and used a hoof to rotate the bowl in the opposite direction. The stirring was vigorous, to say the very least of it. But hey! This was what the instructor had wanted.

"BAM!" She yelled, dropping the stick and standing back whilst panting. "Your hero, the great and mighty SMASH, has done it!"  

[Scaramouche Fandango]

"INNNNNCREDIBLE!!! Ladies and gentlemen, this volunteer is the FINEST STIRRER I HAVE EVER SEEN!" The front row had even been given samples due to the vigorous nature of her stirring. "That's the STUFF!" she roared before reaching behind her and nudging forth a very confused-looking salamander. "Now, for the final step! Turn up the heat!" The salamander looked like it wanted to bolt. "Let your words symbolize your passion! Let your hopes and dreams turn into burning fire! Ready? Don't hold anything back! ENCOURAGE THIS SALAMANDER TO DO ITS BEST!" The little creature eyed her warily as she got down to its level and looked it in the eye. "Do your best!" she whispered. "I believe in you!"

 

[So Long Gay Bowser]

"LITTLE SALAMANDER!!!" Smash roared, leaning in to the salamander. When she got next to the little thing, she realized that perhaps her volume was too intense for such a delicate creature. Clearing her throat, Smash tried- noting the thing was quivering- to yell as quietly as she could.

"Come on, little guy!!! Follow your dreams!!! If your flame burns as brightly as your heart, you'll never fail!!! Everyone wants to see you be the best they know you can be!!! You don't have to believe in yourself- WE believe in you!!!"

Her hoof slammed against the stage excitedly. It was just so hard to be quiet when her heart felt SO STRONGLY for this little fellow.

"I know you're stronger than you think you are!!! If you hit rock bottom, that just means you have a solid foundation!!!"

..Yeah. Maybe she could do this motivational speaking thing!  

[Scaramouche Fandango]

The salamander flared a few times and scurried away, confused and bewildered by this newfound surge of confidence. Smash-and-Mash deftly slurped up a strip of the now-warm squash and found it... "DELIGHTFUL!" she shouted, before picking up the shell of squished vegetables and slamming it onto the vegetables. "And now the dish is COMPLETE!" She placed the dish behind her, with the rest of the food. "Audience! Please line up in an orderly fashion and YOU TOO can try this delicious dish! But the first bite must go to our WONDERFUL VOLUNTEER. Have you ever seen such a good volunteer? I must declare that this volunteer SMASHES ALL OF THE PREVIOUS RECORDS! She is THE WINNER of all volunteers! Give it up for SMASH! SHE IS SMASHING!" Smash-and-Mash beamed at her volunteer- what a wonderful, wonderful kin. She was so very glad to have met her!