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Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 10:41 pm
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Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 11:22 pm
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Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 11:40 pm
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Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 11:56 pm
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 12:14 am
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 12:32 am
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The man began to shake his head but then stopped to reconsider. Finally he gave a broken laugh. "It...he probably..." Izaya stopped for several painful seconds, evidently having trouble finding the right words to communicate. "...It probably ended up being more detrimental to him than me, after all was said and done," the man in the trainee uniform answered, still wearing that tight smile. The corners of his mouth were twitching uncontrollably, however.
He swallowed hard before continuing, fiddling with his hands. "I was upset from all that had happened prior, you know, with Faleen gone and some stuff with KO and this new trainee named Gaia and then finding out I could understand bug types...so I'm pretty sure he was just trying to help." Izaya stopped, took a deep breath, and continued. "...I'd...you can speak to psychic types, correct? Heh, I'd offer to let you ask him why he did it yourself, but..." He forced out another laugh, but this one sounded suspiciously like it was part disguised sob.
"...Well, they couldn't very well allow a traitor to keep around a pokemon that would sabotage its own trainer, now, could they?" When he looked up at Zacharie again, his eyes were wet and shining, the rims very red. He must have realized how he looked, however, because he stopped trying to smile and quickly looked back down. "I...I really should be going..."
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 12:50 am
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 10:24 am
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He sat there a minute, still staring at the ground and barely breathing as he absorbed what Zacharie said. Then he put his head in his hands.
"I just...I don't understand," he choked, his voice muffled. "Why does it hurt this much? It's not supposed to hurt this much; he's just a stupid pokemon after all. Just a stupid, stupid pokemon!" Izaya's hands went from his face to his hair where he clutched at it in exasperation.
Still staring at the ground, he began speaking very fast and all in a rush like he had to get it out or he would explode. "He did this to himself; he knew better than to try drugging me! Worse than that, he dragged Psyche into it too - Psyche, who's practically an ignorant child who knows nothing about what's going on. He - they - those idiots - "
His voice hitched and he took a shuddering breath before speaking again. When he did, it was hardly more than a frantic whimper. "I don't...I just...it's not fair! They tricked me! I thought because they were pokemon, just pokemon, just pocket monsters to be used as tools, I thought it would be okay to trust them because you have to trust your team, don't you?
"And this is Team Rocket and I thought I could at least start by learning to trust pokemon if not people; that maybe I could start redeeming myself and maybe at least partially start paying back the debt I owe to Aila and Faleen that I could never hope to fully repay...but now..." He shook his head. "What am I supposed to do now? I'm done. Finished. Every time I finally think I've gotten back on my feet, the rug gets pulled right back out from under me..."
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 12:05 pm
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 12:38 pm
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 1:03 pm
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 1:36 pm
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 3:35 pm
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 11:46 pm
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"I wasn't supposed to have attachments, though," he moaned. "I don't know how this happened. I did my best...I...If you don't have attachments, you can't get hurt, so how did this happen? I still don't get it..." He stared ahead unseeingly, his features contorted in an expression of anguish and disbelief.
Zacharie was right about one thing, though, at least. His current choices were hurting the people that cared about him. What bothered him the most was that he cared about those people being hurt. He wasn't supposed to care. What had happened to him?
All he could think of was that it started back with Aila and her forcing her final act of friendship on him. It had poisoned him; made him unable to reject the notion that he had really meant something to her and, somehow, vice versa.
But wait. His eyes widened in realization. If Trainee Gaia was the former Agent Aila, maybe he could somehow reverse all this. He had previously feared that he would never be able to repay the girl for having saved his life, but now maybe he could. If he did that, maybe he could pull all this attachment stuff behind him and go back to how he used to be. It was so much easier only having to worry about oneself. Even better was the fact that she didn't seem to remember him as Aila and therefore didn't consider him a friend, so after repaying the debt he owed her, he could sever ties with her cleanly and completely.
"...You're absolutely right, Zachie-chan," Izaya said, regaining some of his usual composure as he sniffed again and got to his feet. "I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and start doing something about it." He took deep breaths to try to calm himself further. "And I think you just gave me an idea as to what I can do about it."
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