[FIN] Scars of the Past

[BlackFireKitsune]

Mid-morning sunlight filtered through the blinds over the window, and Abel did his very best to ignore it. He rolled from his back to his side and slid an arm around Zevran so he could hold him close. A sleepy, contented sigh escaped him as a small smile curved his lips -- which he pressed to the other man's soft skin a moment or two later. He wasn't sure if he was awake yet or not and didn't mind either way, though he was glad to have the day off to spend with him doing whatever they felt like. In some ways he was still getting used to that kind of freedom, after living like a trapped rat whose life could end at any moment for two whole years. No, slowly waking up next to someone warm and caring was infinitely better... not that he felt any more deserving of it, though.  

[TawnyAngel]

Zevran had been more or less awake and the gentle kiss drew him further from sleep with a contented sigh, which became an equally contented yawn half way through. "Good morning," he murmured sleepily and groped to take Abel's hand in his own. He yawned again then before adding; "You sleep well?" He certainly had, Abel's bed was comfortable and his presence was even more so. He always slept better when he was beside somebody he knew would watch his back.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"Morning," he murmured back just as sleepily, though his expression brightened at the touch and he gave the other man's hand a squeeze. Had he slept well? Well Zevran was with him; the answer was obvious. To him, anyway. "Mmh, of course I did." With this mumbled he left a few slow, deliberate kisses on the back of Zev's neck. "Did you?"  

[TawnyAngel]

"Mmh-hum," Zevran replied lazily and drew Abel's hand up to his lips to press a lingering kiss to it to repay the ones Abel was placing on his neck. "Very well thank you." Zevran squeezed Abel's hand again and then carefully shifted over onto his other side to face him. "Hello," he said fondly, and reached up to stroke Abel's slightly stubbly jaw as he leant in for a proper kiss.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"Good, I'm glad." Fondness tinged his already warm smile as Zevran turned to face him, and he reached up to gently rub his thumb over the other man's cheekbone as he returned the kiss quite happily. "Hello to you too, handsome," he said with that same smile as he gazed into the shorter blond's eyes. Those gorgeous amber eyes... He didn't think he'd ever get tired of looking at them. "Hmm... I don't think there's a better way to wake up than like this."  

[TawnyAngel]

Zevran hummed contentedly again and combed his fingers into Abel's hair. "If there is one I do not know of it." There could surely be no better person to awake with either....

He kept having thoughts like that.

From Abel's hair Zevran smoothed his hand down his neck, his back... and there his hand stopped so that his fingertips could caress the scar tissue from where he'd been stabbed. Zevran's eyes crinkled with soft fondness and he leant in to give Abel another kiss. "And you are also very handsome by the way," he said when they parted again.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Abel made a pleased noise in the back of his throat, his eyelids sliding shut for a few brief moments... and even though he didn't see the kiss coming, he leaned into it all the same, even going so far as to slide his fingers around Zev's ear and into the hair at the back of his neck. The hand on his back felt nice; he pushed himself up a little onto one elbow so he could kiss the other man's cheek, then his slightly stubbly jaw. "Shameless flatterer," he murmured affectionately, a smile curving his lips a moment or two before he left a trail of slow, lingering kisses down the side of his neck to the curve of his shoulder while his arm draped over Zev's side. The wound on his back had long since closed outwardly, but internally... He couldn't help but wonder if it would ever fully heal, but he didn't really know enough about wounds like that to say for sure one way or another. ...hmm.  

[TawnyAngel]

Zevran chuckled deeply and leant into all of the affection Abel offered. "It is true, I am, but it is also true that you are very handsome." Abel looked thoughtful suddenly and Zevran tilted his head curiously in a silent question while his hand trailed gently on down Abel's spine and came to rest at the small of his back.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

It was his turn to chuckle. "Well thank you, though I still think you're more handsome." And many other adjectives too numerous to list at the moment, not when he was still half asleep. His thoughts drifted back and forth though, and while he missed his unspoken query he slowly headed towards voicing it regardless. Thoughts of the scar and his lung healing excruciatingly slowly prompted a desire to stretch, so he did so; he stretched his free arm out over Zevran's side before flopping onto him with a pleased sigh, resting his head on the other man's chest. As it always did, stretching left awkward twinges in his chest around the wound, and as always the feeling left a pensive, vaguely unhappy frown on his face.

Abel inhaled and opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated another moment or two before voicing his thoughts. "Hey, Zev. Did you..." Another pause, another frown, his voice curious but mostly uncertain. "Have you.. ever been stabbed before?"  

[TawnyAngel]

Zevran flexed his fingers against Abel's back and shook his head slightly. "We are both ridiculously handsome. The most handsome. That is simply a fact, you cannot argue with it."

When Abel stretched and then flopped onto him Zevran sighed happily, wrapped both arms around him and kissed the top of his head. Ah, and stabbing was it now? "Oh yes, on a few occasions," Zevran replied with a wry chuckle and gave Abel a tighter squeeze. "I am open to follow up questions if you have them."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Abel couldn't help but smile at Zevran's tenderness towards him despite the thoughts in his head, so his hand glided up to curl around his friend's shoulder and give it a squeeze. But then his thoughts drifted back and he frowned again. Just because he wasn't surprised to hear 'yes' didn't mean he liked hearing the answer. "Well," he began, hesitated, then tried again, "I just.. I haven't. I mean early last year a couple of my ribs broke and one punctured my lung," his poor, abused lung, "but that was different. This is.. I dunno." The blond shrugged helplessly, frowning at the far wall. "It's like... there's this knot in my chest where she stabbed me, like a big ball of.. something. I can't really feel it so much as I can feel that something's there, but it's.. dead, I guess. Have you ever had that?" Whatever it was; he could only assume scar tissue that didn't want to heal properly, if at all. ...would it ever go away? He sincerely hoped so, but with his luck he'd probably be stuck with it.  

[TawnyAngel]

"Ahh." Zevran kissed Abel's hair again and held him a little tighter. He didn't think about his own scars very much, he was used to them, but knowing that Abel's bothered him made his heart ache. He wanted to be able to take the discomfort away but life didn't work in that way, you just adjusted.

"Yes, reduced feeling or numbness is quite normal," Zevran said after a pause, his arms still protectively tight around Abel. "The knotted or tight feeling will improve over time, or at least so I have found." As he said this he released half of the hug to take Abel's hand and guide it to a slightly raised scar on the lower right side of his chest. "Feeling may too but this will take longer, it happens only when scars fade. I can't say I have felt much sensation come back into the larger scars I have though, and I suppose I have had some a while now. Still, if it is any help at all I seldom think of any of them now. Sometimes there is a twinge but other than that they are... mmmh... let us say merely rather visceral diary entries. The dead do not scar." He was alive, and Abel was alive. Wasn't that a wonderful thing?  

[BlackFireKitsune]

While he'd perhaps expect a little firmer of a hug, if that, he hadn't really expected a tight, persistent hug -- even if only a bit tighter. Still he couldn't help but appreciate what he figured was Zevran's way of trying to.. comfort him probably? That was probably it. Either way he smiled and turned his head to plant a kiss on his shoulder.

Though he didn't particularly care for what he had to say -- or rather, what it meant for his own injury. He opened his mouth to speak but the words stuck in his throat and faded as Zev continued, as he took his hand and led it to one of his own scars. Abel brushed his fingers across it gently, rubbed his thumb over it to trace it. "That's..." He struggled for what to say that wasn't too negative, failed, gave up and went on, "really shitty. In that case I guess.. I won't really hope for too much, since it seems pretty bad," it had to have been for the knife she used to go right through him like that, "but.. that's a good point. I'm not dead, at least. I'd much rather be here with you than be dead," he said, shifting to kiss the other man's shoulder again. "Not that she was trying to kill me, of course, but I'm always happy to not be dead."

A few moments later he drew back from Zevran's embrace a little unwillingly, but he didn't go far; he leaned on one elbow while his other hand remained on Zev's scar he'd been idly mapping with his fingers, except now he could do so with his eyes. "Is that how you got this one -- someone stabbed you?"  

[TawnyAngel]

Zevran sighed softly and kissed Abel's hair again. "I would like to tell you that it all simply gets better and is like new but that would be a lie. Your breathing should get back to normal without trouble given some more time but the sensation-" As Abel pulled away to look down at him Zevran ended the sentence with a shrug; it was the way it was and there was no point in pretence, he simply wished that it didn't bother Abel. Perhaps in time it would not, the things time did not heal it often allowed you to grow used to and accept.

"And yes, they did." Zevran closed his eyes and sighed contentedly as Abel's fingers roamed over the scar he'd guided him to. "That was... oh, seven years ago I think? It used to be more raised and tighter than it is now but I haven't noticed any change in the sensation of it, or rather the lack of it." Zevran chuckled wryly then and opened his eyes again, just because he liked looking at Abel's face. "Healing fully from that one took some months, I remember being excessively bored."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Well, that was pretty shitty but he'd kind of started assuming that's more or less what would happen anyway. The feeling might never come back, the dead knot of scar tissue might never go away, but maybe over time it would become less.... less. Something. Oh well, that was fine. It wasn't like he would've ever considered the alternative to getting stabbed, so he could only be but so upset about the scar.

Abel hummed thoughtfully, quietly, as Zevran elaborated on his scar's story - or one of them, at any rate, out of far more than he'd like his friend to have - as he traced the scar with his eyes and his fingers. Seven years ago... "So you were.. what, eighteenish? Somewhere around there?" That was how old he'd been when he'd gone after Amelia's kidnapper, had been pulled into that organization to be another of their puppets... Rather than think about that any longer he said, "I can sympathize there; I was bored as s**t after my ribs broke. I couldn't really move much; this one must've been pretty bad too. Did it hit any organs or anything?" As he finished speaking his thumb glided over the scar once more before his hand slid down to Zev's side. The taller blond leaned down to gently press his lips to the scar, lingering there a few moments, eyes closed, before leaving another similar kiss beside the first.