“WHY DOESN’T HE GET ANY CONSEQUENCES?” She would have kept that skull, not only Gerard’s but Zindel’s, if she had the chance to take it off his shoulders.
“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Eridia yelled. Her voice was starting to get hoarse. She tried to get away, run way. They didn’t let her calm down until… Hemera spoke up. Eridia stared right at the tealblood, breaking free from the only idea she has had all night. It hurt. The tealblood looking at her hurt the highblood. Because she had spoken to the other officer in a way that had ensured this would not happen. Eridia knew she probably wouldn’t have expected this from her, but a little bitter voice in her head told her she actually did… All this time, she surely knew she shouldn’t have been left alone for this. Eridia listened closely. Still as stone, pathing as her body slowly started to cool down.
Gerard Rutven was dead.
“He’s not.” She replied.
His time here is over.
“No, it’s not.” She replied.
She was assigned here to be able to move on. Eridia stopped, lips quivering as she said, “I can’t. I really can’t.” She was a fool to have trusted her. Eridia’s grip on her weapon tightened, she tensed up once more. “I don’t believe a word you say, you'll only lock me up! You'll have me cull! Just like they all wanted! JUST LIKE YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED. I don’t believe that I still have a chance. I don’t believe that I will ever do anything else...”She stopped.
“Without bringing shame to myself.” He understood her, he gave her hope. Gerard made her feel as if she could be her own person, without having someone breath down her neck telling her how to act, how to feel, how to speak. She wasn’t free. Not since day one. She was always called bad, the mean one, the hateful one… She was bad because she was always expected to be good. She’d do the contrary of her lusus commands even more when he locked her up. But Gerard? He saw some good in her without telling her she was bad. He saw her potential, he saw something in her that she could only assume it was him seeing what others failed to see.
A lively troll who only wanted to make herself into someone recognizable, someone successful out there in the cold, cold world. Someone who pursued what her heart dictated, someone who's always wanted to find love... To be cared for. No, everyone saw the opposite. It was either black or white, and since she had been bestowed with spades. That made her bad. Eridia was a bad troll, obsessive, manipulative, compulsive, mean, ill willed and just plain awful.
"I am in shackles. I am enslaved. I am deprived of hope or freedom or a say over my future. I don’t have a future anymore… He was going to give me a future… He…" Eridia paused. "He surely would’ve made me the troll I always wished to be. Not powerful, not cunning, not rich… You are right, I've accomplished that on my own. I never wanted to be queen. I only wanted to be happy. I wanted to get through this mission, succeed at it, feel proud of myself for overcoming this...” She sniffled. “But I guess I don’t deserve that. Why would I anyways? Happy trolls don't kill to be happy, or successful or proud... yet we have the right to cull when we are unhappy.”
A scoff escaped her lips. "Why am I even telling you this? You don't care . All that you ever do is good and everyone praises you and LOVES you because you're soooo GOOD. Like all the good trolls out there, you are only good at overthrowing the bad people. That's all you'll ever be." She scoffed once more, tears streaming down her face. "Meanwhile I'm bad, bad, bad, BAD." She spat.
Honestly she didn't want to fight the officers. No, not because she was outnumbered. But some of these trolls, she knew them, she liked them, she had the chance to know them... Eridia couldn't hurt them, could she? Was her heart that cold? Quella spoke up too, shattering her heart even more. She was replaceable, she knew this and yet seeing it right there hurt. She wouldn't dare to hurt her. Not after all the time she had spent with the blueblood. She even watched her grow. Until she hit that massive growth spurt. What would Frossa say? WHat would be of her now? Jesus... She was... She had really lost it all. "I..." She gulped, almost letting go of her weapon as considering to surrender. But then... "I'll surren--"
Her dagger fell abruptly on the floor after the shots had been fired. Sharp pains on her hand and knee was the only thing she felt. Eridia went pale, looking at the wound on her palm, staring at the blood, feeling the pain. Eridia let out a horrible cry as she succumbed to the ground, she wailed, grasping her wrist with opposite hand. Gerard seemed to have a hard time as well, and Eridia didn't take it all too well. The highblood lunged towards the spot the skull had fallen. "NO!" She screamed, picking up the bits of broken bones, picking up shards. "NO, NO, NO, NO! DON'T LEAVE ME, PLEASE!" She pleaded.
Don't... leave me again... "GERARD!" She picked her fingers with a large chunk of glass, not noting what it was as she was fully concentrated on picking up what was left of the Commissioner, slicing and worsening the wound on her hand. That was the last thing Eridia Tsifer remembered she did, before succumbing back into the catacombs.