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 Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2018 4:39 pm
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 He was nervous, a wreck of anxiety that twisted his belly into a knot of squirming snakes, as he waited for Keepsake to return with their--his children. He was afraid of what they would think of him and full of sorrow at all that he had missed with them. They were full grown now, raised alone by their mother, and they would have no need of him, not truly. Would they want him, he wondered, or would they hate him for his absence?
He knew he would have to prove himself, to both them and Keepsake, that he was not going anywhere. It would take time, maybe even forever, for them to believe it. And it was going to be hard at times to stay with the ever crushing guilt of the past multiplied by days where he felt hated, unforgivable. But he would refuse to leave. He wouldn't force them to accept him, he couldn't, but if they asked him to leave, he would have to refuse. They could have space, he was sure they would need it, but he couldn't leave. Not now, not ever.
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2018 4:56 pm
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Wan Smile, as ever, had been hard for her to locate, but she knew he would return in time. Keepsake was able to fetch the rest of them, at least, a strange nervousness bubbling in her chest. There were so many things that could go wrong with this- both in Heritage coming to his senses, realizing there were better things in this world than to be by her side- and the response of her children.
Grey had been receptive, but it was hard to speak for the rest of them. Ashborn had always been vehement and strong, not showing her any of the sorrow regarding a missing father. The others, it was hard to say. She had prefaced the meeting with as much explanation and reasoning as she could afford the pups, and now?
Well. Now it would be up to them.
"Hello again," Keepsake said, breathily and awed as she found Heritage again. Every time she saw him, it still felt like a dream, and she wondered that she would ever lose that feeling. Now she allowed herself some more certainty and she approached, coming to sit by his side with an affectionate nuzzle.
"You've met Grey," she started, as the aforementioned kin arrived. He gave Heritage a warm smile, sitting down in front of the kin and his mother once more. It was going to take some time, she knew, but at least Grey was making efforts towards knowing the buck she loved so.
"What You Had and What You Lost tend to each other's company. What You Lost... well. I'd say she's very much the picture of me," she managed a quiet laugh, as the brother of the two emerged, waiting patiently for his sister.
"What You Had is very attentive and loving. A comforting child, if ever there was one. He and his sister are a good balance to one another."
What You Had would not speak, would not cast judgment until What You Lost had done so. Her words and thoughts were what he valued, and he wanted her to take assessment of the situation. His light eyes went back to her, curious.
"What do you think?" He spoke quietly, so that only she could hear.
Keepsake smiled to herself, knowing very well that this was more than likely what would've happened. Were she honest with herself, it was not the inseparable siblings that made her worry. It was Ashborn, ever strong, ever sure of her opinions. She had been the fury to Keepsake's own sorrow, and while she loved the little wolf for it, it now gave her pause.
"Ashborn is her own soul. She is strong, smart, ever a skilled hunter. She's like a wildfire," Keepsake mused, waiting for her daughter to come out.
"I do hope you like them. I... I tried my best."
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2018 6:43 pm
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"I shall love them as they are apart of you," Heritage reassured Keepsake. It was too soon to say that he loved her though he did, had never stopped. Even when his heart was broken and his view of the world shattered, he'd still loved her.
The past, however, was pushed from his mind as he saw his children--Grey, a buck with his ears and Keepsake's tail, and--oh. The dark on snow child was his? Guilt welled up as he looked at her and then pride and fear at the wolf doe that stepped forth last. She would make trouble for him.
What You Lost followed after her brother, face stoic but inside brimming with glee at the idea of having a father. She'd felt it in her bones, in every corner of her soul and heart, the absence of him since she was born. There'd always been a sadness that clung to her, as though in being born she'd passed through her mother's sorrow and it had adhered to her like a web.
"Wouldn't it be nice not to be sad?" she queried back to him, a soft and hopeful smile beginning to twitch at her lips. She pressed herself close to him. "Mother seems happy to see him again."
Ashborn, however, was indeed a wildfire. Mother had always been so sad, too sad. And she'd ignited, so young, into righteous fury that for reasons she didn't understand her mother could never seem to feel. It had been her purpose, to protect and look out for mother. Where the others might have wanted to know, meet this buck... She couldn't care less about him. Mother was all that mattered.
"We don't need you," she growled at the buck. She didn't care what the others thought. And Mother had been sad for too long to see the sense of it. This buck, Heritage, had left them and that was all the evidence she needed that he was no good.
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2018 7:00 pm
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"Yes," What You Had replied easier, more for her benefit than his. Where his sister had felt the sorrow of loss, he had known the joy of having-- somewhere, in his dreams. So he had been the joy for her when she had not known it, had been the ever-constant shadow at her heels. If her dream, her destiny, was to know sorrow, then his was to meet it in full measure. And their mother-- for her nervousness, did seem to be quite delighted. He had opened his mouth to reply to the buck when Ashborn spoke, making her stance on the matter quite known.
"No, we don't need him," Grey responded, just the slightest bristle to his fur in retaliation. "But it would not be unwise to meet him and decide for ourselves. Besides," and he glanced over to Keepsake, regarding his mother for a moment.
"...She could have told us. Let us try to find him when he were younger. We can't blame him for everything."
Keepsake felt herself wilt, ears drooping at Ashborn's anger and Grey's all too true comments. She did not have a response immediately, no way to defend everyone's feelings in this. She had known it would be complicated, but something in her had hoped- had wanted it to just be easy.
"I... hope you'll at least try to know him, Ashborn. I- I won't force you, but please. If you would just try, that is all I ask."
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2018 8:03 pm
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What You Lost frowned at Ashborn's words not agreeing but not sure how to confront such rage. She'd always been a bit of a ghost--a remnant of their parents brief time--that had been left waiting, wanting. And much as she wanted to just crawl like a lamb seeking shelter under her brother, she knew they'd have to be united to overcome their sister. She was proud and strong and so sure she was right about this.
"We don't need to blame anyone," she spoke, at least, looking to her name-twin for reassurance. "The past cannot be changed and they're both suffering, can't you see that?"
Ashborn didn't care. He deserved to suffer in her opinion. She tried not to glower at her mother for such a request as to try getting to know the loser who had clearly broken her heart but it had always been a struggle to understand why her mother couldn't, wouldn't, show the rage that was clearly due.
Heritage frowned, looking at Keepsake and then to their children. Perhaps they should have done this one at a time. Or given them a chance to work on such feelings before introducing him.
"Your mother and I made mistakes, both of us, but we would both like to make amends. I won't be leaving, not her and not any of you, but I shall give you space if you so desire. You are all my children and I want the chance to know all of you," Heritage cut in. He feared any more discussion of fault would sink Keepsake--she was strong but, like him, she was adamant to take all the blame herself. They could grieve, would grieve, but they also needed to mend. Together.
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