The booth, much like Cerise's booth last year is large and ostentatious, a giant banner proclaiming the event as WORST COOKS IN ALTERNIA. Bright lights shine down on a stage with several temporary nutrition block staples, with full cooking equipment stations and a well stocked pantry with a gate around it to keep out thieves. A table features the two chefs of the evening - Cerise Koekje and Mallok Ablonk, the teachers and runners of the event. Or at least, it did when you looked a few nights ago.
Strangely, the booth seems quieter. There are trolls learning to cook, but you notice only the greenblood chef wandering around. A crocodilian lusus is chomping at the feet of passerbys, eager to try and trick them onto the stage. Her mouth opens wide and and she stares at you. Better make a choice before she comes for you, too!
Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2018 6:44 pm
==> Rules o1. Caima is watching! And eating your trash! No cheating. One roll per day, no deleting, etc. o2. You need to fill out your post to be eligible for the raffled ticket and the RP one! And also it's just best if you filled out your post. o3. A sentence written minimum is required to count! Just a real quick "Mule certainly cooked the meal very good." But longer posts and RP fun is more likely to win the RP ticket! o4. The game results are just flavortext so feel free to personalize and stylize your catastrophic worst cooks nightmare! Be creative! Have fun! . o5. If you want to play more than one troll for IC prizes only, be sure to note in your post! Only one post per day can be used for the raffle ticket. o6. All games reset at 9 am EST, regardless of if we're there to formally close them or not. Any posts made after that point but before our new daily post will be disregarded.
==> How to Play (Worst Cooks) o1. Every day, you can roll 3d20 once, making sure you identify which troll-chef-judge your character is playing for. o2. Compare your rolls to the charts below! First number to Skill Drill, second to Main Course and third to Result. o3. Add the corresponding dice scores! So if you got 6, 11 and 2, your total score is 19 for the day (this should show up at the top of the bar as well). o4. Highest score of the day wins a ticket! If there's a tie, I'll roll between them for a winner. o5. The other two tickets will be given via a general raffle of all eligible participants, and one for the most entertaining post. o6. If you actually want to interact with Cerise or Mallok during the booth, just quote us in your post and we'll make the effort to have them personally stop by for advice or insults.
Skill Drill:
1. You don't know what this ingredient is, or how to use it. 2. You slip and cut yourself with the knife. Oof! 3. First fire of the night belongs to you! 4. Dropped your mixing bowl on the ground! Quick, pick it up before your teacher notices!! 5. Oof, your meal is raw...yet somehow, also dry? 6. You mistake one key ingredient for another one. 7. Uh oh, looks like your baked goods aren’t rising! Maybe you forgot an ingredient? 8. You drop your mixer completely into the bowl and watch the bubbles pop as it sinks completely into the mixture. 9. You were supposed to make an interesting flavor profile, and well. It's interesting? 10. The eggs you were using just hatched! You hurry to scurry the hatchlings off the table as quick as you can. 11. You impress your teacher by knowing the name of an obscure utensil. 12. You think you saw someone make this on a cooking show before! 13. Somehow your teacher-chef is really resonating with you… 14. You realize you've put your food in the oven for a little too short, but as it dings you check to find its perfectly fine and you've just shaved some time off the clock for yourself! 15. The chef's hand-on demonstration allows you to understand the process really well! 16. You feel like you're really learning! 17. Mallok walks past, giving you a hearty thumbs up. It's the nicest thing you've seen him do without cursing! 18. Oh! You're actually pretty good at replicating this dish. 19. Caima seems really excited about what you’ve done! 20. The judge is thoroughly impressed by your dish’s taste and presentation!
Main Course:
1. It’s… inedible. You really messed this one up. 2. Is it...is it moving?! 3. Caima ate your dish before the judge got to see it. RIP dude, better luck next round. 4. You mixed up the amounts needed for two totally different ingredients and now it won’t hold together. 5. The dish calls for a specific kind of beast meat. A lusus from the audience gives you a disapproving glare. 6. You rushed and only barely managed to get your food on a plate before time’s up! 7. The judge makes a face at the plate… it looks really bad. 8. Well, your food was okay, but kind of underspiced? More salt next time buddy! 9. Despite making something a little unidentifiable for the main course, the judges kind of seem into it! 10. Borkuisinier asks you a question about your dish, but you don’t speak musclebeast! 11. It’s a bit bland and boring, but no one threw up. Yay you! 12. You tripped over Cerise’s lusus a few times but you made something pretty great! 13. You’re stressed out and tired, but hey, it doesn’t totally suck. 14. There was almost a catastrophic mistake made, but you caught yourself! 15. It’s beautifully plated, and most of the elements of the dish are good. No one can complain! 16. Mallok compliments you on adding a surprisingly zesty taste to your dish! What’s your secret? 17. Your artfully macgyvered dish actually impressed the judge! They can hardly tell you almost messed it up totally. True skill. 18. The flavors… are beautiful. At least one of the judges tear up. 19. Bork and Mallo spends some time fawning over complexities in your dish. 20. You pulled it off without a hitch, perfectly replicated and delicious - and with time to spare for plating!
Results:
1. Caima won’t even eat your stuff. Truly, you are the worst cook in Alternia. 2. Caima chews on your leg. Is this.... feedback? 3. Mallok lists off a bunch of good qualities you showed before saying your name wrong and realizing he was talking about a different contestant. 4. Well, most of it cooked until it was solid at least! 5. There is a lot of critique about your dishes…. Like, almost ten minutes of it. 6. You were doing really well in the competition but now you’re stagnating… 7. The chef is disappointed in you, but not giving up yet! 8. You learned how to use so many different kinds of nutritionblock appliances, so even if you can’t cook, you’re smarter now. 9. Well, you’re not in the bottom of the barrel of cooks this time. Progress? 10. Mallok is eating a different contestant’s final dish and you can’t understand what he’s saying about yours. It...might be positive? 11. You know when someone is kind of saying nice things but it feels like they’re making it up to not hurt your feelings? That’s definitely what’s happening. 12. Caima begs for your food, but like, in a genuine way? Maybe it's actually good. 13. The chef-judge seems really proud of your progress! 14. Compliments! Compliments! Compliments! 15. A difficult process for you in learning to become a better cook, and lucky for you, you are definitely improving! Your stuff is great! 16. Accolades for you! Good job! Even Caima seems proud. 17. Your plating is beautiful, even if you don’t become a good cook, the chef encourages your artistic abilities. 18. The musclebeast judge flexes in response to your dish! A high honor indeed! 19. Caima nuzzles you and seems very happy. You're doing a great job! 20. Why are you even here? You’re clearly not one of the worst cooks in Alternia. Get out.
purplerosesbeauty
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purplerosesbeauty
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2018 6:45 pm
==> Prizes!
What everyone's here for! The coveted Bloodfest raffle ticket! Cerise & Mallo will be giving one out to the highest score, best post and one random ticket raffled among eligible contestants.
(Click for colors!) A set of three real culinary knives, though they could be used for other... utilitarian needs. Consider it a gift for entering the contest!
A little plastic Caima, to vacantly stare at you from the comfort of your hive. Seems Cerise has a lot of these.
More prizes forthcoming???
Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2018 6:47 pm
==> Scoreboard
For everyone's convenience, I'll be keeping track of daily ticket winners!
Day 1: zeflamigo Buzzwulf DraconicFeline
Day 2: screamingshark nepsah zeflamigo
Day 3: Hobo Pixi Taki-Di screamingshark
Day 4: Melancholies Taki-Di DraconicFeline
Day 5: DraconicFeline nepsah screamingshark
Day 6: nepsah Hobo Pixi Taki-di
Day 7: nepsah Hobo Pixi Taki-di
---
Additionally, Cerise & Mallok's scores!
Cerise: 824 points Mallok: 551 points
purplerosesbeauty
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purplerosesbeauty
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Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 6:10 am
Day 1 is a go! No cooking themes or set dishes - use your imagination and learn to cook!
After all these sweeps, Reemus wasn't skilled in cooking. And, really, he was only here hoping for more food from the redblood girl... If he had to cook the food himself, could he at least eat that?
Not that he started off real hot or anything with the ingredients (seasoning problems for the meat), but he managed to make it look nice...and they didn't hate it!
Selune Miadaz Score: 44 The winged troll smelled food. It was exhausting keeping track of spears, and more importantly, keeping away from the sharp end. It was inevable that the smell of something wonderful would attract her. The greenblood looked at at the two cooks, deciding. The greenblood, Mollok looked like he could cook well, might was well choose him, right?
Time to get to work! Since there was no theme, Selune decided to make her favorite. Fiddle head fern with bush fruit and tree seeds. It was the salad that Quella had refused to eat... The greenblood beamed at the finished salad, her self esteem renewed. Quella was wrong, her salad was great!
12. You tripped over Cerise’s lusus a few times but you made something pretty great!
17. Your plating is beautiful, even if you don’t become a good cook, the chefs encourage your artistic abilities.
Quella wasn't really quite sure what she was doing, but she knew what trolls really wanted: meat. And also that all of these fancy city trolls wanted their food to look super nice. She could fake that. She could DEFINITELY fake that.
Grinning at the judges, she cut into a rasher of oinkbeast fat, careful to get the gently marbled back fat of the animal. Quella's dining wasn't fancy, but she knew how to choose a good piece of meat. Carefully she seasoned the cut, making sure to rub the spices deep in. She wasn't sure quite what she'd grabbed there... a bit of sugar, a bit of crushed caffeinated bean juice, and some peppers, but the smell seemed just about right. The hunter tossed the slab onto a prepared flat top, listening to the sizzle.
While she let that cook, the hunter grabbed a few mustard greens and tossed them in a big machine that looked like it was supposed to dehydrate them or something? A couple moments later her eyes widened as it blended the greens into a smooth paste. She looked around to see if anyone was watching and added a bit of lemon and tiny dehydrated fish to the paste. A taste told her that it looked kinda odd, but damn did it taste good. She poured out the goop into a nearby bottle and flipped the hog back on the grill, smiling at the sear on the meat. Maybe not perfect, but pretty damn good for just a couple minutes.
The hunter spread a few more greens on the plates, then squeezed out the paste she'd made in a pair of neat, flowing patterns. Not too bad, Fehtan. Smiling with pride, she sliced the nicely seared meat into fancy, medallion-shaped pieces, them layered them carefully to create an overlapping pattern.
"I, um... I was wondering what I could add to this for color without breaking the uh... taste... profile? I mean I'm hardly an expert at this kind of thing." she asked Mallok, putting a plate in from of each of the judges. That sounded like something a real chef would say. Hopefully they would like it.
Judge: Mallok! Total Points: 45
Buzzwulf
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melona-pan Crew
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Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 5:36 pm
Frossa didn't cook. Ever. No, no. It was more her style to eat- and love to eat she did.
Whenever she got a break from manning her own booth, Frossa beelined for Cerise's. Cerise's booth always had food, and Cerise always made sure to feed her! Frossa was in for the shock of her life when she first realized that this Bloodfest, the booth was about cooking, not eating. She nearly broke down in tears. Cerise had predicted this, however, and stockpiled baked good and snacks for the purpleblood to indulge in.
So Frossa sat off to the side of the Worst Cooks booth, roped off with her own little tea table stacked high with a variety of baked sweets. A VIP section! It was a front row seat to the disasters happening in the kitchen area- dinner and a show. Most of the food cooked by competitors was fated for Caima after the judges picked at it- Frossa swooped in and took what she pleased before it came to that. Her piles of food were growing at an alarming rate, much faster than she could consume it.
And much of it, aside from Cerise's baking, looked highly questionable.
18. Oh! You're actually pretty good at replicating this dish. 15. It’s beautifully plated, and most of the elements of the dish are good. No one can complain! 2. Cerise sighs and claims you’re unteachable!
Dillys had signed up for a cooking thing, not exactly knowing what it really was. This should be fun! Right? As the skill test started, he did his best to replicate the dish. He was generally pretty decent cooking at home, especially since his twin was certainly no cook! Once he was done with the skill round, he presented his dish. He smiled as he was given good feedback! Awesome!
Next was the main dish and the redblood knew exactly what to make! He gathered his ingredients, working on making cordon bleu. He barely heard anything around him as he moved quickly to try and finish his dish... maybe he had been too ambitious for this competition but he really wanted to impress his Chef!
After wiping the plate free of mess, he raised his hands at the end of the count down. He'd finished his dish and honestly, it looked beautiful. Quietly, he waited till it was his turn to present his dish. He explained what it was he made and waited for a response. Hearing that he again did really well, made his confidence rise. Maybe he was better than he thought! Then for the results, his Team Chef told him that he was unteachable? What? Did... he really do that bad? Or did that mean he did well? Confusion sank into the redblood, rubbing the back of his neck... he'd go check out other booths.
Nictor Sabbat Team Cerise Score: 27 Daily Results: 11. You impress your teacher by knowing the name of an obscure utensil. 14. There was almost a catastrophic mistake made, but you caught yourself! 2. Cerise sighs and claims you’re unteachable! Total:
Nictor hadn't really...gotten out much in a while. Hadn't been very interested in it. And with pretty good reason too.
He braved Chittentown as needed, but stuck to the sparser hours, especially after his, ah. The, uh, the incident a while back. Crowds still left him feeling kinda fuzzy in a strange way. A bit hard to focus, tense but not the same kind of nervous he used to be, but at risk of slipping on something a little worse if he let his mind run away with itself. The crowds kept him on edge, but the dull roar made it hard for his thoughts to go too far off track to bad places.
Bee was worried though. He wasn't the only one but Bee was always there and Nictor just wanted to alleviate that a little.
Plus, it was Bloodfest. Nictor had had a booth last year but wasn't really close to being up to that this year. That's okay though. There was always something nice to get from Bloodfest. A disaster to be had too but. It's okay.
So obviously in his wanderings, Nictor would up at a cooking booth. Worst Cooks in Alternia.
Well. He definitely wasn't a professional.
He didn't do awful through the endeavor but he wasn't all there either. He'd known what was apparently some rare information and caught himself from nearly pouring a failed soup dish from another entrant into his own mix which would have been absolutely awful. It didn't stop him from accidentally setting a small fire, breaking a plate, knowing over a rack of utensils, and answering a slew of questions wrong due to being distracted by the fire he started.
Nictor was left shuffling away, baffled and contrite, having been told he was an awful cook and no amount of help could improve his skills. And then had been given a knife set. He. Wasn't entirely sure what to do with them and after that parting advice, trying to return them seemed....like a questionable plan. Nictor really didn't want to be walking around with these given his track record though. Uhh.
Guouli approached the booth, clearly somewhat agitated. No matter what he accomplished, he still had to pass Leeroi's booth. And Psykgi's. He had to have it shoved in his face that Leeroi had two filled quadrants, with real bad taste. And no Akkira there to take his mind off it.
So he returned to where he never felt threatened. The redblood baker, doing her power trip s**t like she did every year. Yeah, he knew how to work with this.
He even got to threaten a lusus, sliding a knife across his throat. All lusii were meat eventually.
He did cook, kinda. Enough, anyway. When he was done, he stabbed a knife right into the chopping block. He leaned on it and looked at Cerise, hand on chin.
"Sup, doll? Long time no see."
The blueblood really, really didn't care about any critique a rustblood had.
Punkie had mentioned Mallok here and there, so Sephos knew that the greenblood -- while not really someone he probably would talk to, outside of handing out spare pies to -- was a '******** bitchtits cook who could whip up some ******** mirthful grub in a claw-stabbing grub beat.' She'd even added another '********' at the end, with extra explosive emphasis, so Sephos figured that this was serious.
She'd also recommended that he go to this booth. He squinted at the sign and tried to mouth out the words. W... that was the Uu sound, wasn't it? ur... ess... t... Wurst? No, Worst.
Ok. The next word, he did know -- Cooks. [Worst cooks? he thought, confused. The last word was a little long for him, but he had enough to wonder whether Punkie was trying to tell him something about his cooking.
But no, his moirail liked his pies, and she always told him everything right out. It was nice.
[Oof, your meal is raw...yet somehow, also dry? ]
Well, he'd try it anyway. He scribbled his symbol under the sign up that was probably for Mallok -- something about teams, something something competition, Sephos wasn't really paying attention. He just got his a** started.
His knife work could... use some work, and his strategy was clearly to just throw raw food in a bowl and eat it. It worked for plants... but not, apparently, for meat. Which, apparently, he wasn't supposed to squeeze all the blood out of.
"Okay." he said, in bland response to Mallok's advice.
[ You tripped over Cerise’s lusus a few times but you made something pretty great! ]
He took out all the chunks and tried again, sweating under the heat of the lights. He had some big, long vegetables that he could hollow out and stuff, if he chopped everything finer. And then, he had the idea to cook the dry-a** meat with the fruits and vegetables. After all, they were full of water, so they should... fix everything, right?
Unphased, he gave it a try, stumbling over a toothy lusus that someone had left in the middle of the kitchen as he managed to make something that someone who wasn't him might eat: a somewhat haphazard stuffed eggplant full of random ingredients.
It wasn't actually that bad, all told.
[Why are you even here? You’re clearly not one of the worst cooks in Alternia. Get out.]
And then, just like that, he knew how to make it even better. He took out a can of orange Faygo and set it nearby. He carried a can with him just in case Punkie needed a pick-me-up, because being able to give her one when she needed one made him feel that wonderful blossomy feeling inside that was friendship. Or affection. Or love? Sephos wasn't sure but it was Punkie's feeling, and he liked it.
It was shaken up and would definitely spray everywhere -- just how Punkie liked it. And maybe Mallok would like it that way, too.
(Team Mallok!)
Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 8:31 pm
Cerise was glad to see Frossa could still make time to come to the booth. Her not-quite-matesprit turning beloved media darling and Idol turned their relationship into something different. It didn't particularly matter to her what they called it, or how secretive it had to be. She knew it existed, and their bond was... special. That would be about as much as Cerise would say if pressed by others now. She was a VIP with or without that! And so, Cerise had to check on her special girl.
"Frossa~ I'm so sorry this booth isn't as much good food, but it really is funny. Watching all these losers try and cook. You know how it is when you're doing show biz though... my media empire will be great, ehehe. We'll get all kinds of chefs on board! But you know I'll always take care of you." She giggled and air-kissed Frossa's cheeks (always an air kiss, careful with any physical contact now that might demean the purity of her Idol status) and placed another bit of pastries in front of her. "I missed you. Fame keeps you so busy!"
---
A blueblood - vaguely familiar, called to her from the competitor benches and she obliged him, leaning up against the block as well, a hand on her hips. "Doll huh? Do I know you?" she laughed, and eyed him up and down. If he was trying to flirt, he was really up in the wrong business for that. But... she remembered that symbol actually, and that hair. "Oh hey, grease boy, I see you've gotten taller. Like. A little bit. But it's better now, huh!"
Her grin spread wide, all sharp teeth. "So what brings you here again? More knives, maybe? I remember you liked those a whooole lot."
17. Mallok walks past, giving you a hearty thumbs up. It's the nicest thing you've seen him do without cursing! 19. Cerise spends some time fawning over complexities in your dish. 18. The musclebeast judge flexes in response to your dish! A high honor indeed!
"Mawo! Mawo!" Mimimi jumped up and down in an attempt to win her friend's attention. Hmm, he seemed busy trying to help people make food. She hadn't even stopped to consider the booth in front of her. Looking up, she was able to discern the simple words spelled out in big font. Worst Cooks?
She shook her fists with excitement, pounding on her Trashdad's shoulder. She could do that! She could be a bad cook!
She started to prep her dish, mostly referencing things she'd watched Mallok do in the past. There was a considerable stretch of minutes in which she attempted to juggle knives, to varying degrees of success.
With Mallok's approving thumbs up, she started cooking her dish, tasting it at varying intervals. She couldn't taste any of it, but it was what Mallok did when he cooked! The redblood lady stopped by to pass judgement, and though her words were mostly gibberish to Mim, the blueblood could tell that she liked eating it. ChefPops seemed to love it too!
Mimimi frowned at that. She wanted to be the worst chef, like the booth said. Did this mean she was losing? Feeling disgraced, she decided to trash her dish, feeding it to her gracious and unendingly hungry lusus.
