Alone... Just read it, regardless of the title.. please..

[[[!Squee!.I.Can.Disco]]]

I know all of you have probably felt like this before.. if that is the case then I could get some good help?
SCHOOL
I only have one real friend at my school, but it's hard for us to hang out, because she is in a different form.
And, a while ago, i had a crush on my friend.. and then i was upset about my mum and he told me to stop being pathetic and i said im sorry but.. and then he goes just go ******** kill yourself, everyone would be happier. this was my best mate.. it hurt so bad..
People say I should ditch him.. I tried, I tried so hard. he seems to think its my fault he says its all jokes, why do i never get it, why am i so stressy blah blah blah.. everyone thinks we're friends but inside i have this loathing and. .. it burns.. ********, if someone could feel the loathing I have for this boy they would think I was a wannabe mass-murderer.
I can't be myself because of stuck up pricks that laugh at me or take the piss. I know I shouldn't be worried but when you only have one friend that isnt even there then.. it's hard.
I have a couple of friends in my form, but I don't want to be their friend. I want to tell them to go away and just .. leave me the ******** alone..
I also get depressed .. sundays, mondays and times when I am alone.
Which is basically every weekday, because I never go out with Alex [my friend] on weekdays.
The slightest thing sets me off all the time now.. and in class I just want to scream and shout until my throat is hoarse.. but I want to cry at the same time.
FAMILY/PARENTS
My mum nags me constantly, but then she's nice to me, and then it confuses me and make's me feel like somehow it's my fault that she yells at me, so I cut.
My brother(nine) makes me cry (i cry easily) when he tells me he hates me.
My aunts/mother/grandmother all take the mick out of me because of the way I talk/dress/act.
My aunt said to me:
'Megan, did you get your hair done? Let Anita style it so you don't look so much like a freak'
Nice, huh?
MSN FRIENDS
I have loads of emo friends on the internet, but sometimes I feel like I can't handle them, because they are suicidal lots. I mean, yeah, they rock, i love them all.. but it gets too much eg.:
Once.. one of them was in a bad mood and told me to go find real problems. the others just start saying about their problems and its like 'yes, but, i need help. shut up!' the guy that told me to get real problems, I had a go at him and he left and tried to kill himself so I felt bad. And then we made up. But I feel like I am too weak to try and stop them as well.
ON THE WHOLE
It depresses me because my MSN friends say that I don't need this crap and deserve better.
But then I get depressed because I can't get better than being treated like crap by my so called 'friends'

Please.. help me.. I don't know how long I can go on feeling so unwanted and angry. I try not to surpress my feelings, I used to do it all the time, and then I went to therapy, and it seemed to get better.. but.. now I have started closing up again..
I just need someone
Thassabout it. ninja
sad  

[Thida Fxcking Tragedy++]

I'm sorry.. Are all the people around you stuck up bitches?
What's a form? is it like a grade?
what form are you in?
I'm sorry i can't help you.. You can always talk too me. If that helps?
I'm not suicidel
<3 Thida rawr bitches  

[[[!Squee!.I.Can.Disco]]]

A form is basically a class. There's 7 in my year - grade to you. [[im english]]
So I'm stuck with those people every lesson except Maths. Im in 8A  

[[[!Squee!.I.Can.Disco]]]

Can anyone help me.. please ??  

[[[!Squee!.I.Can.Disco]]]

Please someone help
I don't want it to be like this anymore
cry  

[music_lover16]

I have no idea how to help you! It sucks being so depressed at a young age. (Not saying your a little kid) You need a realse from the real world. Thats where my music comes in. Just get a hobby or something like that.
Do you have another school after that?
If all else fails talk to me! I can make you laugh if you want...  

[[[!Squee!.I.Can.Disco]]]

Music helps, but I need some more.. something.
No, Im english so this is my last school, then college etc...  

[Thida Fxcking Tragedy++]

um.. wait... so your going to collage after 7th grade?  

[SARSSS]

In England. There's only 7 grades. : /. That's what I thought, though.

 

[Thida Fxcking Tragedy++]

ohhh. ok..... i'm not confused anymore!
um... i'm sorry i don't klnow what to say sweatdrop  

[Prince_Padraic]

well,i dont know how to help you but i think you should like,draw pictures and poems and stuff......like expressing how you feel.....make them as disturbing or whatever you want cuz no one will see them.....and listen to music while your doing it.......cuz that might be a way to express your feelings in a private way...and more healthy then cutting((im trying to stop cutting))...and about your "friends"........i have a couple of emo hating friends and one day ,since i wasnt strong enough to say it to tehre face,i talked to them on the computer and told them how,if theyre gonna keep making fun of me and acting the way my enemies do then i dodnt want to be friends with them....and it helped a little,hey dont mess with me as much.........sorry if this doesnt help much....its just suggestions and i hope you make it through this.......and i might be suicidal,but when someone talks to me about there problems i listen and try to help .....so if you wanna talk im always here for you...

brett

 

[outllet]

I feel the exact same way in everything that you said. I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, becuase I don't know what to do myself.  

[ComradeKira]

i know exactly what you mean...i feel the same way all the time...i'm not sure how much i can help, but please feel free to talk to me any time  

[xRAWK!OWTx]

Things Will get better eventually just keep talking to me on MSN. smile I'll help you & you help me.. smile
xx
Loove yoou, Speak soon smile