Scarification

[girl_omnipotent]

I've decided to have scarification done! The design is small, and kindof tribal, but one I designed myself, and I plan on doing it myself as well. I know the process and I cut anyways, so no big deal, right?

Problem is: my boyfriend is going to FREAK! I've decied to do it without telling him about it first, that wya he doesnt have the chance to talk me out of it. *sigh*

how should I break it to him?  

[Miss Kupi]

Well, you should just tell him. Better to be bluntly honest with it than suprise him with it, you know?  

[Lividacious]

Hmm... touchy subject when it comes to the feelings of a significant other. No matter what angle I take with it on as far as advice giving is concerned it'll end up being rather lengthy. Not sure if you wanna hear all of it or not. stressed  

[girl_omnipotent]

Kupi-Chan

Well, you should just tell him. Better to be bluntly honest with it than suprise him with it, you know?

well, when I told him I was going to get a labret, he said 'no' to my face, and threatened to rip it out if I did...so I havent...

I know I should tell him, but then, I shouldn't need his permission, and he acts like I do...It just gets so ANNOYING!  

[Miss Kupi]

Yeah, it's your body, and your choice. Be up front about it. If he won't accept it, let him know that you're only telling him so he knows, you're not asking permission.  

[girl_omnipotent]

Black Phoenix Rising

Hmm... touchy subject when it comes to the feelings of a significant other. No matter what angle I take with it on as far as advice giving is concerned it'll end up being rather lengthy. Not sure if you wanna hear all of it or not. stressed

please, go ahead!

I would really like to hear.  

[Lividacious]

girl_omnipotent

Kupi-Chan

Well, you should just tell him. Better to be bluntly honest with it than suprise him with it, you know?

well, when I told him I was going to get a labret, he said 'no' to my face, and threatened to rip it out if I did...so I havent...

I know I should tell him, but then, I shouldn't need his permission, and he acts like I do...It just gets so ANNOYING!

Something to consider in it is wether you see the relationship between the two of you a long term thing with a possible commitment later down the road. If you don't see it lasting (honestly in your heart) then I wouldn't worry much about it either way. He doesn't have the right to tell you what you can and can't do. As only a boyfriend you may choose to give the courtesy of taking his feelings into consideration, but he doesn't hold any sort of control in those decisions unless you guys have a deeper relationship (and by this I mean an engagement or marraige.) Even then he couldn't really stop you, but his feelings in the decision should hold a bit more wheight then. I'd tell him straight up that he needs to back off with how controlling he's trying to be. If he doesn't like it, then it's his choice to leave if he can't accept it. How far are you willing to let him go in the control factor?  

[Lividacious]

girl_omnipotent

Black Phoenix Rising

Hmm... touchy subject when it comes to the feelings of a significant other. No matter what angle I take with it on as far as advice giving is concerned it'll end up being rather lengthy. Not sure if you wanna hear all of it or not. stressed

please, go ahead!

I would really like to hear.

I agree with kupi in being up front. He can't exactly rip the scar off you anyway. No one except your parents have the right to have that kind of control over you, and your parents stop having that right after your 18th birthday. If he can't be supportive of the decisions you choose to make about your body (as long as they aren't unhealthy) then you need to ask yourself just how important your relationship is with him, and how much you care about him. Do you care enough about him to sacrafice what it is you want to do for the sake of his feelings, and would he do the same in return for you if there was something he wanted that you did not agree with? It's a give and take in a relationship, and at this point, you have to ask yourself if you're willing to give him the right to have say in it. It sort of all comes down to just how serious with him you wanna get and wether you think you'll have a deeper relationship with him in the future.  

[girl_omnipotent]

Black Phoenix Rising

girl_omnipotent

Kupi-Chan

Well, you should just tell him. Better to be bluntly honest with it than suprise him with it, you know?

well, when I told him I was going to get a labret, he said 'no' to my face, and threatened to rip it out if I did...so I havent...

I know I should tell him, but then, I shouldn't need his permission, and he acts like I do...It just gets so ANNOYING!

Something to consider in it is wether you see the relationship between the two of you a long term thing with a possible commitment later down the road. If you don't see it lasting (honestly in your heart) then I wouldn't worry much about it either way. He doesn't have the right to tell you what you can and can't do. As only a boyfriend you may choose to give the courtesy of taking his feelings into consideration, but he doesn't hold any sort of control in those decisions unless you guys have a deeper relationship (and by this I mean an engagement or marraige.) Even then he couldn't really stop you, but his feelings in the decision should hold a bit more wheight then. I'd tell him straight up that he needs to back off with how controlling he's trying to be. If he doesn't like it, then it's his choice to leave if he can't accept it. How far are you willing to let him go in the control factor?

I've been through many abusive/heavily controlled relationships before....I promised myself I wouldn't let it happen again. *sigh* but things started out so well this time. crying

If it gets much worse, then, yes, I will get out. He's been pretty great about alot of things: doesn't care much how I dress, doesn't fuss about my cutting, isn't violent- at least not without a good reason...

*sigh* I've already decided to do it whether he wants me to or not. whatever happens after that is pretty much decided by his behaviour in reaction to it...
I really do not want to loose him, but I refuse to change who I am... If it comes to me having to get rid of him, then so be it.

But then, I feel I cant be too hard on him...I got him into a monogomous relationship...that alone was a huge accomplishment on my part. I suppose I could give him a bit of tiem to adjust, and then bring up the matter when he fully gets used to the idea of fidelity...

*sigh* relationships are so damn complicated.  

[Lividacious]

girl_omnipotent

Black Phoenix Rising

girl_omnipotent

Kupi-Chan

Well, you should just tell him. Better to be bluntly honest with it than suprise him with it, you know?

well, when I told him I was going to get a labret, he said 'no' to my face, and threatened to rip it out if I did...so I havent...

I know I should tell him, but then, I shouldn't need his permission, and he acts like I do...It just gets so ANNOYING!

Something to consider in it is wether you see the relationship between the two of you a long term thing with a possible commitment later down the road. If you don't see it lasting (honestly in your heart) then I wouldn't worry much about it either way. He doesn't have the right to tell you what you can and can't do. As only a boyfriend you may choose to give the courtesy of taking his feelings into consideration, but he doesn't hold any sort of control in those decisions unless you guys have a deeper relationship (and by this I mean an engagement or marraige.) Even then he couldn't really stop you, but his feelings in the decision should hold a bit more wheight then. I'd tell him straight up that he needs to back off with how controlling he's trying to be. If he doesn't like it, then it's his choice to leave if he can't accept it. How far are you willing to let him go in the control factor?

I've been through many abusive/heavily controlled relationships before....I promised myself I wouldn't let it happen again. *sigh* but things started out so well this time. crying

If it gets much worse, then, yes, I will get out. He's been pretty great about alot of things: doesn't care much how I dress, doesn't fuss about my cutting, isn't violent- at least not without a good reason...

*sigh* I've already decided to do it whether he wants me to or not. whatever happens after that is pretty much decided by his behaviour in reaction to it...
I really do not want to loose him, but I refuse to change who I am. If it comes to me having to get rid of him, then so be it.

If he doesn't fuss so much about your cutting he shouldn't really say much about the body art you want to do with it. All in all it seems like you've got a pretty good handle on how to go with it if his reaction is less than of a savory nature. Good luck to you either way.  

[NelliH]

girl_omnipotent

Kupi-Chan

Well, you should just tell him. Better to be bluntly honest with it than suprise him with it, you know?

well, when I told him I was going to get a labret, he said 'no' to my face, and threatened to rip it out if I did...so I havent...

I know I should tell him, but then, I shouldn't need his permission, and he acts like I do...It just gets so ANNOYING!

Ripping it out?? eek Are you sure he's the right guy for you..? sweatdrop  

[girl_omnipotent]

NelliH

Ripping it out?? eek Are you sure he's the right guy for you..? sweatdrop

meh. I've decided to look at all relationships like this:

Everyone has flaws, and quirks in their personality. What I need to do is find out all the good and bad about whoever it is I'm dating, and THEN decide how long I can put up with them. Sure, it might seem cruel, after all, I am pretty much picking a person apart...but hell, how else am I supposed to find myself some standards?  

[Zombina Corpse]

Any body modification is a big decision and should be consulted with anyone you feel close to - since they'll have to deal with it as well.

I mean, no one is saying you cannot get it done if your boyfriend doesn't want you to, but DO tell him. A relationship with secrets WILL go down the drain quickly. Experience. Yes. >_>;  

[falllenshadows]

MiLK`

Any body modification is a big decision and should be consulted with anyone you feel close to - since they'll have to deal with it as well.

I mean, no one is saying you cannot get it done if your boyfriend doesn't want you to, but DO tell him. A relationship with secrets WILL go down the drain quickly. Experience. Yes. >_>;

Very Wise advice.  

[girl_omnipotent]

I'll tell him...but I'm making it clear that I'm doing it whether he wants me to or not.