Queen of Decadence

[Kattie]

They met at a ball. She was beautiful like a porcelain doll, had perfectly oval face, faultless complexion, black,long curls, pretty smile and unearthly eyes. She looked dazing in a gown in the colour of red roses. Her voice was extraordinarily sweet and laughter quite quiet but sounding like silver bells. She was perfect.
A beautiful face wasn't all that enchanted him. Her manners were blameless and moves very graceful. She was also very intelligent and witty. He always dreamt about a woman like her, so he decided to strike up a closer acquaintance.
It seemed that she liked him as well, she treated him with a great kindness, courtesy and liking. When it was time for them to part, they made a date of another meeting. He didn't hear what other people at the ball were silently talking about.
They met many times later, their acquaintance was getting closer and closer. At last she invited him for a dinner at her place. For him it was like an invintation to heaven.
He came with a bunch of beautiful red roses. She was delighted with them. She led him to the dining room, where was already waiting delicious-looking dinner and two glasses of red wine. He helped her to sit, she smiled at him. They ate dinner, rose their glasses. She observed him drinking wine from under half-closed eyelids...
He woke up in a dark, cool place. His head was aching him and he didn't know what happened. With an amazement he noticed that he was dressed in tight, leather pants. He looked outside through a window. It was still evening. Or maybe it was a day later already? He didn't know.
Suddenly he heard tapping of heels, somebody was deliberately approaching his prison. After a while the door opened and his dream girl came in, accompanied by some big guy in a suit. He could hardly recognize her. Beautiful face of a porcelain doll and long curls stayed the same, but the whole rest was different. The girl was dressed in a leather corset, a miniskirt and high-heeled boots with tops reaching over her knees. On her hands she had elbow-long gloves and on her wrists and neck were shining metal spikes. She smiled at him.
"I'm glad you're awake already", she said. Seeing a question in his eyes, she began to explain the situation. "I liked you that evening at the ball. I liked you this much that I wished to keep you. Don't say anything, let me finish. What was I saying...Oh, yes, I know. In your eyes and behaviour I saw that you wanted to be with me. May it happen, then. You will stay with me, you will stay with me forever!", she said and laughed. Her laughter sounded like the laughter of a Succubus.
He always saw a queen in her. She was a queen, indeed. She was the Queen of Decadence.

Another story inspired by a song. This time it was Schwarz Stein's "Queen of Decadence". Feedback of any sort is more than welcome, as always. heart  

[Spastic waffles]

Beautiful face wasn't everything that enchanted him in her.

That sentence is awkward. And incomplete, it needs an article.

But other than that it was quite good. I kind of predicted the ending, but I was partially wrong...I thought she was going to kill him.  

[Xahmen]

gonk
My what an interesting story idea.
I like the fact that you used decadence correctly.  

[Oukow]

ooh, Will there be a second part? or is this just a short story?  

[Kattie]

Oukow

ooh, Will there be a second part? or is this just a short story?

There is a second part. I will post it soon. 3nodding
Thank you for your feedback, everyone.

@Waffles: I'll try to correct that. sweatdrop  

[Oukow]

Kattie

Oukow

ooh, Will there be a second part? or is this just a short story?

There is a second part. I will post it soon. 3nodding
Thank you for your feedback, everyone.

@Waffles: I'll try to correct that. sweatdrop

yay  

[]Impetigo[]

Spastic waffles

I kind of predicted the ending, but I was partially wrong...I thought she was going to kill him.

O__O I thought she was gonna rape him!

Really creepy. I haven't ever listened to "Queen of Decadence", but it sounds...interesting.  

[Rosealean]

I really liked this, especially the ending! ^_^ I read the second part first on accident, but now it makes more sense, and is delightful! ^_^  

[Ice-Blue Stars]

I liked the story line, but the wording, how you changed from using proper english to more relaxed slang kind off-set the message. If this was purposeful, then I apologise.  

[Kattie]

Ice-Blue Stars

I liked the story line, but the wording, how you changed from using proper english to more relaxed slang kind off-set the message. If this was purposeful, then I apologise.

Hm...Yeah, I guess I should have paid more attention. sweatdrop  

[Ice-Blue Stars]

Kattie

Ice-Blue Stars

I liked the story line, but the wording, how you changed from using proper english to more relaxed slang kind off-set the message. If this was purposeful, then I apologise.

Hm...Yeah, I guess I should have paid more attention. sweatdrop

Well, I didn't know if you did that on purpose or not. I have been learningin my english class about syntax and diction and it's effect on the story. Your use of slang makes the story less urgent, more relaxed, as if the events that would follow aren't as bad as they are described. Just a thought....  

[[ In Nomine Satanas ]]

I like it, can't wait for pt. II