A response to

[]Impetigo[]

He was my beauty. My pride and joy. My love. Number 25.

I had a really horrible relationship with my dad. Let’s just say I wasn’t his biggest fan, and he was a violent sonuva-gun. I hated him.

Well…not really. I mean, he WAS my daddy. The one that gave me piggyback rides when I was his special girl. The one that kissed me and tucked me in at night. The one that told me I was his little fairy princess. The daddy I wanted to be like when I was an adult.

Then the booze took over. Momma told me Daddy was sick. I was only eight, and didn’t realize that drunken men do not show love for little girls.

That scar never really faded away. Not the one on my chest, but the one on my heart. <********. That sounds really sappy, right? I know. My therapist wants me to let all my feelings out, and she says this will help me. Plus, I have to go see her, or I might be put in a “mental hospital”. If you don’t know what that is, don’t worry, I didn’t either. It means loony bin. I don’t care about prison for life, just don’t send me to a place with schizos on the walls!

Anyways, my own daddy! He sliced me, and laughed when I ******** cried! I nursed a grudge ever since then. Patty (aka: my therapist) told me that my relationship with my dad affected my relationship with men.

When I was fourteen, I fell in love with number one: Joshua Daniel Grant. He was a keeper, and my very first official boyfriend. I was VERY into him, although he seemed more…blasé, I guess.

He broke my heart, and soon afterwards…I broke his.

That’s when the first Roman Numeral went on the wall. I gazed at it every day, remembering him. Out of all the murder suspects, I was the least likely, and cried convincingly when I talked to the police. They thought I was the sweetest, most innocent thing in the world. It seriously pays to be an underfed girl with a big tear duct.

I moved on within a year. His name was Christopher. He became my II.

My Nana and me never shared bathrooms anyway.

This went on for some time I suppose. I went through high school, with a new boyfriend every so often, until I was up to XII. I went off to a good college, and met three cute guys during orientation: Joey, Travis, and Caleb.

XIII, XIV, XV.

The next two years were spent in the company of XVI, XVII, XVIII, XIX, and XX.

The police were starting to wise up. I transferred right out of that college, and found another one that was willing to accept little miss Mary murderesses.

XXI, XXII, XXIII, XXIV.

I thought he was meant to be the one! I thought number 25 was lucky! Was special! I knew I was sick by now, I knew I couldn’t trust my own heart or brain.

But…I honestly loved him!

And then, the same s**t started again. I tried to ignore it, but the monster within me craved vengeance. It had eaten each soul that had dared hurt me…just like my dad long ago.

They say number 25 is still alive. When I left, mistaking him dead, he called 911. He’s in intensive care, but he’s clinging to this world.

He murders me by doing so.

The monster is gone now, replaced by guilt, which is scarier than that beast ever was. So many sacrificed! So much weight on my chest.

At night, the guilt-creature feeds, and the original monster is subdued.

---

I felt his piece deserved an explantion...a follow-up, if you will, from the girl's point of view. It was hard getting into her head, as she has no name or direction. She fought me, like her victims fought her. I have new respect for the police in this story.

As for my comments to the original work: I take back what I said, meant as sarcasm. I truely believe though that "This is Life" needs a little refining. We already see enough shock-culture on TV.

I didn't mean to put you down. I meant to help you with your work. Please help me with mine.  

[Spastic waffles]

I don't think you did a very good job of capturing the girl of the story...I really thought of her as completely crazy and someone who knew completely what she was doing and didn't care that she was doing something wrong. Like, she was just that obsessive...I can't explain, really.  

[Xahmen]

S'no problem yo, I just been nursin' a really bad headache and a stomach full of heavy medication ( I have a small problem with pain killers) and today's been a weird day.
S'cool.
I appear to have goofed on the Roman Numeral thing, I wanted it to be 23 but I think I may have done it wrong.

As reference to the story I have to disagree with Waffles, this is more or less what I was going to.
Although the very very subtle hints I dropped to the readers of my old stuff that the girl was Lucy didn't seem to be picked up.

The character has a weird history with heart break, but I like this version more..
So the question is : Would you be interseted in doing a co-author piece on this and slap it into Works in Progress at some point?
I really do like your writing.  

[]Impetigo[]

Zahmen

S'no problem yo, I just been nursin' a really bad headache and a stomach full of heavy medication ( I have a small problem with pain killers) and today's been a weird day.
S'cool.
I appear to have goofed on the Roman Numeral thing, I wanted it to be 23 but I think I may have done it wrong.

As reference to the story I have to disagree with Waffles, this is more or less what I was going to.
Although the very very subtle hints I dropped to the readers of my old stuff that the girl was Lucy didn't seem to be picked up.

The character has a weird history with heart break, but I like this version more..
So the question is : Would you be interseted in doing a co-author piece on this and slap it into Works in Progress at some point?
I really do like your writing.

biggrin I would love to! It would be an honor!

Sorry that I contributed to your bad day...I really meant no harm! And I understand if your mad at me. I'll try not to do such things in the future. Forgive and forget?

Lucy...interesting name. Is it short for anything?

http://www.novaroma.org/via_romana/numbers.html  

[Spastic waffles]

Zahmen

S'no problem yo, I just been nursin' a really bad headache and a stomach full of heavy medication ( I have a small problem with pain killers) and today's been a weird day.
S'cool.
I appear to have goofed on the Roman Numeral thing, I wanted it to be 23 but I think I may have done it wrong.

As reference to the story I have to disagree with Waffles, this is more or less what I was going to.
Although the very very subtle hints I dropped to the readers of my old stuff that the girl was Lucy didn't seem to be picked up.

The character has a weird history with heart break, but I like this version more..
So the question is : Would you be interseted in doing a co-author piece on this and slap it into Works in Progress at some point?
I really do like your writing.

I stand corrected. I really can't argue with the author of the story!  

[Xahmen]

Read Ketamine, it was the first story I posted in this guild. She has alos been a re-occuring character symbolizing Insanity and some angelic reasoning; becasue she is a fictional character made by a fictional character (it's complicated, get someone else to describe it, I want to hear them try... try it Waffles) but I've carried her into other things.  

[]Impetigo[]

Zahmen

Read Ketamine, it was the first story I posted in this guild. She has alos been a re-occuring character symbolizing Insanity and some angelic reasoning; becasue she is a fictional character made by a fictional character (it's complicated, get someone else to describe it, I want to hear them try... try it Waffles) but I've carried her into other things.

Wow...

I was actually pretty close with Lucy. Without any prior knowledge of her history, I re-created her once more with an abusive father. Poor kid...

In a way, I feel deep sympathy for the characters you create. Lucy, with her horrible father and dead-end love life, her brother, who died from Drain-o (horrid way to go out, I must say), and Number 25.  

[Xahmen]

*Shrugs*
I guess, there was more; and Lucy turns into a really, really crazy ********, I just practitcally told my girlfriend that we shouldn't be together.

Oh well, back to this.

There's more I guess.  

[KirbyVictorious]

Lucy was created by the Writer, a man with a deadly brain tumor who wrote about a girl he dreamed of named Lucy. To others, she might have been a monster, but to him she was an angel of mercy. Her stepbrother abandoned her when she needed him the most, and it messed with her, and she started taking drugs and going off with people that, when he came back, her stepbrother did not approve of. He followed her, but she caught him and helped to kill him. Yet he survived, but before he came back to earth he saw something called the Twilight. And once you see the Twilight, you don't need eyes anymore.

Lucy went back home, and her stepbrother stayed where she had left him. He sent someone to tell his family that he loved them...but when she arrived there, Lucy was sitting on the couch, his wife and baby dead, and she covered in blood.

Actually, whatever happens, Z? I never knew?

To the Writer, Lucy is a perfect angel, because she delivers the message that God will one day die. The Writer later died, mentioning Lucy's words in his final message.

It's a pretty good story.

Z, did I give an accurate summary? Or not?  

[Xahmen]

KirbyVictorious

Lucy was created by the Writer, a man with a deadly brain tumor who wrote about a girl he dreamed of named Lucy. To others, she might have been a monster, but to him she was an angel of mercy. Her stepbrother abandoned her when she needed him the most, and it messed with her, and she started taking drugs and going off with people that, when he came back, her stepbrother did not approve of. He followed her, but she caught him and helped to kill him. Yet he survived, but before he came back to earth he saw something called the Twilight. And once you see the Twilight, you don't need eyes anymore.

Lucy went back home, and her stepbrother stayed where she had left him. He sent someone to tell his family that he loved them...but when she arrived there, Lucy was sitting on the couch, his wife and baby dead, and she covered in blood.

Actually, whatever happens, Z? I never knew?

To the Writer, Lucy is a perfect angel, because she delivers the message that God will one day die. The Writer later died, mentioning Lucy's words in his final message.

It's a pretty good story.


Z, did I give an accurate summary? Or not?

Best I've heard so far.