Self-Injury: Advice

[Archangel Izual]

Self Injury:
Please don't be scared away by the informational look of this thread. It's just to help you learn about the problem because the first step in fixing something is knowing the problem. In this thread, I've put together a brief "brochure" to help you through any self-injurial problems. We want to help see that everyone know how to deal with stress in a less destructive way.

Quote:

Scars from battles endured are the pride of man, but scars caused in misery are those that nobody stands tall and shouts to the world about.

To start I'll define self injury for everyone. There are 2 specific categories of self injury. Emotional injury and physical injury. It's a common occurance in all youth in today's society. A majority of this age group develops an emotional self-injury problem, but in the same instances, a certain few of these people develop physical self-injury problems from these emotional self-injurial issues. To clear up the specifics about what these two terms mean, here are a few things you can watch for to tell if you have a self-injury problem.

Emotional Self-Injury:
- Degrading yourself (ex.: telling yourself "I can't do anything right")
- Putting harsh labels on yourself (ex.: calling yourself "fat", "stupid", etc.)
- Refusing to be treated well by friends or family based on the previously listed two

Physical Self-Injury:
- Hitting things, with your hands, feet, or any body part, until it hurts.
- Breaking the skin with a sharp object
- Hitting yourself, with your hands, fists, objects.

We all understand the basics of what is "self-injury", so let us continue. People's reasons for causing harm to themselves.
When a person recieves a great amount of condescending comments without finding a break, they start to believe what they hear. The more something is repeated to a person, the more it seems true to them. They begin to put themselves down and become pessemistic about all subjects.

When pain is caused in a person's soul, they feel it and it aches. They cannot see it or tell when it will or if it will get better. On the otherhand, physical pain can be seen and the physical feeling seems to drain out the emotions.

These reasons given for self-injury are simply a small piece of how some people's minds works. All in all, self-injury is using destructiveness towards one's self as a way to vent frustration, depression, and stress.
This thread will help you find a way to make it out of this harsh habit and into something more constructive.

Constructive ways to vent:
- Draw/Paint/Sculpt
- Write Poetry/Stories
- Take up a sport or activity

In the midst of taking constructive actions to vent your emotions, you'll always be upbuilding your self esteem. The more you practice these things, the better you'll get. When you share your poetry, stories, art, athletic skills, or whatever you've created with people, you'll see how good you are at something and will have one more reason to feel good about yourself.

Conclusion:
If you would like to share your personal story and/or ask for personal advice, feel free to post here. I'll keep an eye on this thread in order to help you all as much as I can.  

[Corpse_Bride_131]

Two years ago, my friends found out that i cut myself. Of course, they flipped a s**t. They kept telling me to stop, and that it wasn't healthy physically or emotionally. But I just kept on doing it. So one day, during one of our regular little pow-wows in the girls room before school, they said to me, " We came up with seventeen reasons why you should/need to stop cutting." And so they went on to tell me all of their reasons. I told them that I would try. But at the end of the day, one of my other friends thats in all of their classes came up to me and told me that they had told someone (as in teacher, principal, ect.) that I cut. So now was my turn to flip a s**t. I flipped a s**t all the way home, and when I got home, there they were, telling my mom what was going on. At first I was really mad at them, because I had trusted them with this, but then I was really glad that they had the courage to step up and tell someone before things got too out of hand and I did something I didn't mean to. Anyways, my parents found out and talked with me, and didn't do it again for a while. About a month or two after I started again. I don't do it as much now, but on special occasions where I can't deal, I find myself in the same situation. It's almost like a trap, that you can never get out of. It really kind of sucks.  

[Archangel Izual]

Corpse_Bride_131

About a month or two after I started again. I don't do it as much now, but on special occasions where I can't deal, I find myself in the same situation. It's almost like a trap, that you can never get out of. It really kind of sucks.

Just keep trying to avoid cutting. When you find things to be getting unbarably hard on you, breathe, close your eyes, clear your head and let things go for a moment...

Try writing it out through poetry... Just keep trying, 'kay? 3nodding  

[Dark_Rocker_Chick]

yeah, poetry helpps me  

[Got Wilk]

I used to cut. i started... right about a year ago. not long after i started i found out my best friend did. after 5 months of me doing it, i told one of my close friends, who then told me that i wasn't doing it, and if i was i wasn't strong enough to harm myself more than scratches and was doing it for attention. i almost over-dosed that night. sucks how your closest friends sometimes dont even believe you. a couple months ago i showed this friend my scars (he almost fell out of his seat) and thanked him for not believing me, and not realizing i seriously needed help, and asked him why if i was doing it for attention i never told anyone. (i know, it wasn't the best idea in the world, and i kinda regret guilt tripping him for it). i haven't cut since that night that i came so close to ending it all, though i've thought about it more than once. every time i get close to harming myself i think of how i felt when my best friend confessed she'd tried to kill herself, and how she might feel if she knew i'd thought about it again. when i get really upset i listen to music and sit on the swing in my backyard, and sometimes i play the violin. i find music really helps.

the main point in this was really that, if someone you know tells you they're harming themselves, or has thought about it, even if you are not sure if they are serious please believe them. and even if they are hardly putting marks on their body, its not the intensity in which they hurt themselves, its the fact that they do. even if it is for attention its still very serious  

[VTugimora]

I promised my friend I wouldn't. I know it sounds silly and retarted, but if you're someone who doesn't break promises (atleast to other people)no matter what happenes, this could really help. I also listen to music, like Lupe Fiasco that help me get happy or (if you just want to let it out or cry) listen to someone that speaks what you feel. I also draw comics. I always involve comedy in mine, it helps me cope with things; comic relief is almost always great. Hope this helps.

BTW, if you want to hit someone, take up a (violent?) sport. Karate and boxing are always good releivers. You get to attack the hell~k out of bags. And you can always get a pic of the person or thing you hate and tape (or glue) it on there!  

[Mello-senpai]

This may sound a bit silly but I had a boyfriend and I found he cheated on me and he left me and I started cutting. Back then, I did it to ignore the pain of losing him. After so long I got addicted and started doing it every time I got upset but recently I started doing it without realizing it. Its like its me doing it but I dont realize it. I've been trying to stop but I just cant. I've made promises to my family, my friends, everyone and everytime I do it I feel Im betraying them and it just makes me want to destroy my life instead of feeling the pain of cutting. I've tried different remedies advised by my counselor for example: Holding an ice cube for a long time and squeezing it, taling a rubber band and snapping it, I've tried everything and now I just dont know what to do. Its all confusing me. More than anyone can think. I haven't only cutted myself though I also tried to commit suicide by strangling myself and hanging myself but I stopped trying that after a while cause everytime I did that instead of doing it, I'd fall to the ground, cry, and cut myself.  

[Konstantine Keys]

I think this is a great thread. I was a cutter for 5 years. I am better now, but it is a daily battle.
Not many people know about my past, but the ones I have told love and support me.
Some people do not understand, but don't let them bring you down. It is just ignorance!

A great book, for reference (It helped me so much!) is "Cutting" by Steven Levenkron. My therapist suggested it for me, and I always keep it by my bed, and when I am having a bad day I read it.

heart
Konstantine  

[xx z o m b i e]

I stopped for my boyfriend.
It upset him,and cutting wasnt worth hurting someone I love.

 

[Forrest_Frenchie]

Corpse_Bride_131

Two years ago, my friends found out that i cut myself. Of course, they flipped a s**t. They kept telling me to stop, and that it wasn't healthy physically or emotionally. But I just kept on doing it. So one day, during one of our regular little pow-wows in the girls room before school, they said to me, " We came up with seventeen reasons why you should/need to stop cutting." And so they went on to tell me all of their reasons. I told them that I would try. But at the end of the day, one of my other friends thats in all of their classes came up to me and told me that they had told someone (as in teacher, principal, ect.) that I cut. So now was my turn to flip a s**t. I flipped a s**t all the way home, and when I got home, there they were, telling my mom what was going on. At first I was really mad at them, because I had trusted them with this, but then I was really glad that they had the courage to step up and tell someone before things got too out of hand and I did something I didn't mean to. Anyways, my parents found out and talked with me, and didn't do it again for a while. About a month or two after I started again. I don't do it as much now, but on special occasions where I can't deal, I find myself in the same situation. It's almost like a trap, that you can never get out of. It really kind of sucks.

Telling yourself that it's something you can't get out of isn't going to help the situation. That's a lie. Yes you can. Cutting is not an option. You just have to elliminate it from your life. I know it's tough, but you have to. There is no other choice. You should know that you won't fully heal emotionally for seven years [it's a psychological thing] so you better quit now.  

[Xx_ConsumingShadow_xX]

I used to cut, it was out of control. I had a friend who did it too, he gave me advice on how to conceal the cuts, where to do it, etc. I did it on my ankle, my thighs, and my wrists. I covered my wrists with sweat bands. One day in the car, I scratched my ankle, and my mom saw it. When she asked what it was, I quickly covered and said, "Climbed a fence and scratched it..." It was a good save. But that night, my guts spilled. my mother was crushed. She thought that she was a failoure as a mother. Ever since then, eveytime I think of cutting, I think of my mom, and I feel so guilty. Stay close to those that love you, and the problem will eventually be resolved. And, that one friend of, well, we aren't friends anymore. We had issues about emo scene, and I don't think he much cared.  

[Xx_ConsumingShadow_xX]

Dark_Rocker_Chick

yeah, poetry helpps me

Yah, poetry helps alot.  

[x0_blink182_0x]

I used to cut as well. All through the 8th and 9th grade. It doesn't do anything. It just puts more pressure on you because after you're done you think to yourself 's**t. What the ******** have I done?' and you look down and see blood. It's not the answer. I found that out the hard way. If you feel the need to cut, Dont. Write poems, draw, do anything artistic. I know everyone's heard this but it works. My wrists have been clear for nearly 5 or 6 months and I feel great. Ye, at times I want to do it again, but I think about all of the people I will be letting down. Now instead of cutting, I play my guitar, I call a friend to talk, or write poems, (I have 2 posted in the art and poetry section..Check them out if you want) I draw and I will always garuntee that I listen to music. It helps because there are probably so many songs that can relate to you. Don't cut. It ******** up your life.