ok so this was a letterr to someone very close to me..

As I sit here waiting for you to talk to me I wonder would this really be able to continue……

The elation as you talk to me and that love that comes from it.
The lost lonely feeling when you aren’t there for days.
The times when I just sit there as you captivate me.
The times when I was hurting and you help to heal it.
But I don’t think the wounds will ever heal.
They’re too deep, too old, left for to long to fester and rot.
Left for to long by too many cruel people.
Now they’re deep scars imbedded in my soul waiting for someone to open them again.
And then when you come along they open and you soothe them.
But I wonder if I’ll always have to survive on just talking to you.
I say this because if we are supposed to meet you disappear.
Like now, I want to see you to be held by you and that doesn’t look like its going to happen.
It never does happen, probably never will, but I don’t think I can handle that.
So I just sit here things unsaid and wait.
It was my dream and I passed it off as fantasy.
I never believed that if talked to you, you would end caring for and loving me as you say.
I just want to know if you’re just saying that so that you can take advantage of me as a fan and the fact that I love you so strongly.
I never want you to say I love you unless you will never hurt me.
I never want you to comfort me if you’re just going to take that away.
I never want you to say you care if you don’t mean it.
I Love You.


This is a poem I wrote just off hand...sorry if it isnt that great...

I Was Saved…


You tore my heart out…
I tried to sew it back in…
I guess it didn’t work…
You left me to die…
I didn’t do it…
You left me bleeding…
Someone stopped the flow…
I was saved…
You left deep open wounds on my soul…
Now they are scars…
But when I saw you I could feel…
The pain…
The burning, excruciating pain of old wounds…
Reopening…
The bleeding has continued…
This time I don’t run to my savior…
I sit here and watch them bleed…
Because of you…