My first poem

[Natsumi-Michi]

[Im not that good at makeing poems my friend said that it was good and she said I should post it]

This is my first poem I hope you like it

Sitting in her room head filled with doom
she knew that the end would be soon. a
knife in her hand she had no demand.
she would only do this for one man. She
loved him so she never wanted him to
know but now its to late hes made a date
with death its just a start of what might
happen next. a blade by her throat and
by her a note soked in blood sitting in
her room head filled in doom she knew
that the end would be soon

 

[TrueNamu]

I liked it,but Id wouldve liked to see some more organization and more suspenseful speech.It was kinda all at once. Other than that it was fantastic.  

[Hikaru Akumu]

I agree with Namu. It should be more organized. But otherwise, Pretty decent. :] Keep up the work and try a little bit harder.

 

[Natsumi-Michi]

Thanks to you both ill try on makeing it more organized next time :]

 

[SoBloodxSilkoS]

I agree with Namu too ^_^ It was very good.  

[Natsumi-Michi]

Thanks :]