another poem i made up ((some tips to make it better ))

[wildfiresdeath]

kill my race

i know you want to choke me
to sqeeze my neck until only blood is what you see
but mother do forgive
this is the race i choose
to where none are bottled
none are caged
where crying is okay you see

mother,
the blood on the knife was mine
because you cut me
and on my heart you dine
i live without it

mother i do pleed
dont kill me off
i cry black tears
yours are blue
i dont have fears
but you do

mother do understand
i am the same human being
just a different race

deep in my cold feet ,mother
youll find the only thing that drives me
love

mother please love me
because im cring tears
hug me like a child
sheilding from my fears

all i want is love
somthing i dont get
mother please dont kill my race
or if you do
you
kill me
your own flesh and blood
from your whom

the pain from my childhood
the regret from my past
please do not kill me
i want my life to last

 

[wildfiresdeath]

this has some things that did happen in my life

suicidal thoughts
the cutting
her choking me
arguing about me
arguing about the babys abortion  

[BayouTrash]

i love it it made me sorrowfull  

[Hikaru Akumu]

Mm...It's good.

but sometimes; It would be good to use correct grammer occasionally.


What I don't understand..Is by 'this is the race i choose'

What race?

@_@ If I overlooked something, please point it out.