I cut and am bulimic....

[Mykayla1313]

I need help. I don't want to tell the people around me though. They wouldn't understand. I feel like my body is the only thing that I do have control over.
I cut because, well its just a release. I can just cut and the blood runs my down my arm and I feel like with the blood, all my troubles will go away. But then suddenly as I stop the blood, reality comes flooding back. I know it's pain, but its a differant type of pain. And it feels good to me. You could say that I enjoy it. I hide the scars in everyway possible. I wear long shirts, tons of braclets, I write on my arms. Anything, as lon as people won't see them.
The bulima, well I weigh 87 pounds, but for some reason, I want to be able to look at that scale and see 0. I want to be weightless. I want to be able to just float away and never return.
I need help with this. I am afraid, but the same time, I just want to stay this way until I dissolve away because if it gets fixed, people will treat me with pity. I hate pity. I don't give it and I don't want it. So don't help me out of pity. If your only gonna help me because of sheer pity, turn around and walk away becaus I don't want it. Help me because you want to. And if you don't want to, good bye.  

[EllieRegret]

I want to help you. I used to cut myself too, if you read "Living under a flame" , then you will know my circumstances. anyways, you cutting yourself is not the answer. you can eventually die from loss of blood. and its a bad habit. i know you probably know this already. Your bulimic problem, its not good either. The fact that you feel like you want to be weightless, thats an okay feeling, but not actually trying to be weightless, that is bad. I suggest telling someone about your problems. Like making a best friend swear not to tell anyone. and spilling out to them. Thats what im doing. i do this nightly check in with my best friend. and it helps.  

[Mykayla1313]

I just want... I can't explain it. I just want to be thin and beutiful. And cutting, it just feels good. I feel sooo much better after doing it...  

[aikoislost]

Mykayla1313

I just want... I can't explain it. I just want to be thin and beutiful. And cutting, it just feels good. I feel sooo much better after doing it...

and you think being 87 pounder is normal and beautiful?!! No its not. Look,I wanna help because I wanna do good for some reasons.D9o you think being thin and cutting is beautiful?It's not.If ever you want to be beautiful,you have to fight.so much depression and stress can affect on how you look.So just fight the battles ahead and try to smile a bit.Think of something you always wanted that you think youre going to be happy with. Think of something else is do instead of cutting.