Somewhere in the Future

[Ichigo_Kitten]

A story I started. Hopefully I will figure out where to go from here.

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Somewhere in the future, between the dilapidated ruins of Old New York and arid barren Wastelands, a full moon rose. It crested over the horizon, a milky orb tinted red in the haze of pollutants. Its pale feeble light illuminated the ruinous city that was once New York; it’s once glorious buildings were now jagged gray teeth that seemed to thrust from the barren gums of the Earth. As the moon slowly made its journey across the night sky a building, one conspicuously new and small among the monoliths of the old city, came under the probing gaze of the moon. It’s searching fingers of light reached into the small window, no more than a slit in the wall. Inside a girl sat, the light illuminating broken obsidian eyes hidden underneath curtains of greasy locks. She wore nothing but a yellowing hospital gown, exposing pallid skin spotted with dark blue bruises along the arms and legs. She was in a small cell, not much bigger than a closet, with all the furniture bolted down. Her bed was nothing but a metal frame, also bolted to the floor.

She rocked back and forth as she felt the start of spasms of pain as the last of the meager pills coursed through her bloodstream. She had begged, pleaded with them to give her one pill, just one more pill, but they had refused. She was a bad girl and must be punished, they told her, their cold flat eyes looking emotionlessly into hers. She cried out in agony as a surge of pain ripped through her viciously, crippling her body. She craved the sweet release of pills, the stupor that would carry her away from this horrific twisted life and into her own welcomed abyss. Anything was better than this shattering lucidity, this awareness that her life was nothing but a bleak cycle of drugs pain and sorrow. She was a crippled bird doomed to die painfully as she was ripped apart by the ravenous beaks of the white vultures that hovered above her.
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Comments welcome ^^  

[KirbyVictorious]

O.o  

[lidless_i]

It's good, eccept this line. "As the moon slowly made its journey across the night sky a building, one conspicuously new and small among the monoliths of the old city, came under the probing gaze of the moon." The word moon seems kind of overused to me... other than that though, it was great. Really captured the "ruination of a society" feel that I've tried for before and haven't been able to get yet.  

[grotesquekreeple]

I like how you described your characters incarceration in a mental institution?(or some other form of imprisonment) and how you described her being surrounded by a city in such a hellish state. I have been to a mental institution on a number of occasions and thats how it feels in there so wether or not you've been there before you described it quite well.
The second paragraph reminds me of the Marilyn Manson song 'Coma White' which includes the lines "a pill to make you numb, a pill to make you dumb, a pill to make you anybody else, but all the drugs in this world cant save her from herself"  

[Ichigo_Kitten]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked my story heart Hopefully i'll get it done soon ^^  

[Voxxx]

I loved the imagery. Like the others have said, I might sub in something else for "moon" but the story itself had great feeling.

PS- Are those Kingdom Hearts 2 people in your siggy? heart I totally love that game! whee  

[KirbyVictorious]

Typical Voxxxish ADD rolleyes

We must be VERY used to creepiness. O.o

Don't worry, it's a good thing.  

[Reese_Roper]

Very well described. 3nodding

You're going to have to write more soon, because I'm looking forward to it. ninja  

[Ichigo_Kitten]

hehe I wrote more and looked back on it and realized how creepy i have just made it xD but I'll post it here since you seem to like it Oo

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The sleek metal door, strangely modern in this rotting cell, slid open, revealing two men sheathed in white. Their large opaque lenses peered at her. “So this is the one. I thought they were all wiped out during the Eradication.” One said. His voice was filled with a mixture of awe and the cold curiosity of a doctor looking at a specimen. “Don’t go too near it #c124.” The other cautioned. “It bites.” As if to prove his point the girl lunged at the man, snarling in defiant fury as she snapped her jaws. About 3 feet from the man something pinged, and for a second the faint web of intricate blue veins pulsed in her arm. Then she fell to the floor, writhing in pain and in fury, her jaws snapping futilely at #c124. The furniture rattled slightly in its bolts. The man hissed and drew away. The other man chuckled. “It is a feisty one, less easy to control than the others. Even with that chip in its arm it manages to activate the TK gene.” Going over to the girl still on the floor he cupped her chin in a steely grip, looking into her eyes with the flat vicious eyes of a killer. “It doesn’t matter though; we have no more use of it. Soon it will be burned away like the others, until not even the ashes are gone.” He smiled, showing pearly white teeth. “What a shame, such pretty skin. Perhaps before it dies I can make a pretty pelt out of it.” His grip hardened on her neck, leaving the shadowing imprints of fingers. Smiling he petted her and turned away. But as he turned away something glinted in the girl eyes, a spark of light in the dark voids of her eyes, and before he stepped away she lunged for him viciously, hitting him in his midriff with the full force of her body. “Crap.” He yelled, rocked back yet not down. Pulling back his leg he delivered a vicious blow to the girl. His lips curled into a sneer. He pressed one foot to her neck. “Stupid cur, you should know your place. He smiled caressed her skin with spidery white fingers. “There are other ways to torture, and those don’t leave a mark.” He then turned and walked out of the room, followed by #c124. As the door whispered shut the girl smiled. It was an empty smile, devoid of the happiness and emotion, a strange grimace on such a face. Reaching into her slip she took out a metal object that glinted dully in the moonlight. It was a ballpoint pen, virtually unchanged through the centuries. Clicking on the top the tip smoothly flowed out into a sharp point. Not a knife, but it will do. She went into the corner which served as the bathroom and shut it closed. Then she turned her arm, exposing the pale throbbing blue pattern centered on a blue mass. Raising the pen she gritted her teeth and plunged.
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I don't know where the hell this came from xD  

[LiTTLExMiSSxSUiCiDE]

I do like this story. I'm interested in what the "Eradication" is and who she really is.
More! Write more! mrgreen