POEM--- CRITISISM OR OPINIONS?

[Saikiyoumi]

I love you,
do you love me?
Can't you see
were meant to be?

Why don't you miss me?
Do I mean nothing?
I miss you all the time
Why can't you see??


You say it doens't matter,
When you don't come to town,
But do you know how much I miss you,
when you're not around?

You may claim to love me,
But how can I believe you,
You've hurt me so many times,
How many times have I hurt you?

Im sorry I'm so emotional,
Im sorry I'm such a mess,
I'm sorry I cry alot,
I'm sorry I'm such a stress.

I'm sorry I love you,
maybe with out me,
you wouldnt have to be,
with the failure that you see.

I know when you read this,
You'll think nothing of it,
probably thinking "not again",
But I'm tired of all the s**t.

I wanna be happy, I wanna be smiling,
Believe me I've always tried.
Do you realize how bad Im hurting?
you don't know how much you've made me cried.

But I love you,
Do you love me?
Can't you see,
We're suppose to be?

So please listen to my pleading,
Stop turning me away,
And maybe if you do,
I'll decide to stay.  

[Saikiyoumi]

I really need feedback because I need to know if I should send this to my boyfriend or if I would just be making a fool of myself.  

[Saikiyoumi]

wow no one?  

[Ieri Aedile]

I loved it ,you should write more often  

[Placeo]

A very touching poem. I like the casual questioning style you used. I really felt like the victimizer during the I'm sorry's. Fix up some grammatical errors and you'll be on your way.  

[Saikiyoumi]

thank you ^_^  

[Kareesata]

I love it. I think I've heard it somewhere before, though.

 

[Saikiyoumi]

hmm probably something like it. not like its an unique subject.