Empathy -a therapeutic poem (Critique + Comments)

[Placeo]

Something that needed to be released today before heads began to roll.

I don't follow any 'rules of poetry' but I try to just write how I feel in the right words. I place commas where there should be a breath.

Empathize heart

Time, nothing but a hindrance
To the secrets that you hide
Whispers I can't grab
Though countless times I try
Natural, you surely aren't
Flawed, you may be
I cannot think of reasons why
You make me smile so

A shadow of sharp words
Rain drops in the city
Of nice-yties, I am not
Just flesh soon to rot, to be forgotten
I can clearly see, through the flames, my fog
I am the reasons why
You run, and cry, for all eternity

Comments? Questions? Thoughts? Feel free to say anything.

heart  

[Placeo]

Patience is a virtue. And I've never been very virtuous. D: So anyone, anyone, humor me?  

[Placeo]

I find it kind of sad that no one can take the time to comment. Is it really so hard saying whether you like it or not? Is it so hard to point out flaws that you see? I guess it must be. Well, I'm off to comment now.  

[-Isel-]

I like it. You seem to have avoided cliches well.  

[Placeo]

Why thank you. Those two sentences just brightened up my rainy day.  

[Placeo]

Hmm, I'm debating whether I should break down my poem / disect it for others, but then it'd be like shooting myself.  

[-Isel-]

June_Tears

Why thank you. Those two sentences just brightened up my rainy day.

Any time, any time... :3  

[Prince Lithium]

Are you empathic?... cause this... this really shows what it's like. No one ever knows what pain I feel with my empathy. I love this poem. ^_^  

[Placeo]

No, not really. I'm too analytical to really feel what others are feeling. But I know what I feel and am glad to hear you can relate to that. That's what poetry is all about.