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This is a writer's guild where all can gather for feedback and advice on all mediums of writing. Plus it's a great place for conversation. 

Tags: Writing, Writer, Writer's Block, Critiques, Friends 

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Patriotism

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Neat
  O RLY?
  YA RLY!
  Wtf? :/
  I thought you were grounded Kirby *scolds*
  Uh...um...want an orange? <(^-^)>O <--That's an orange.
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KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 8:50 am
What I really want to know is, who MADE this useless world? And for what kind of cruel joke?

Just looking at it makes me sick.

Actually, I feel sick anyway. I don't know why, but...

...Huh. Even the constellations are different here. I USED to like to look at them...

...In Sirtema.

Ametris sucks. There's mist everywhere that no one can get by, everyone has that glazed look in their eyes, and it all seems so FAKE.

Well, I guess it really is. Sirtema came first, after all. Ametris is just a copy. EVERYONE knows that...I mean, everyone in Sirtema knows that. The Ametrisans don't have a clue. For all they know, they're the only world...the only country...no, screw that, I bet they don't even know there's a world outside their towns, or their lake, or their forest...

I'm a human, and after all that Sirtema business, I'm pretty glad. Every race has their own little habitat...the elves have their forest, the merpeople have their lake, the dwarves have their mountains. But humans don't really have one of those. The other races, the ones that don't really like us, say it's ebcause we want every place for our own, and therefore we never truly belong. I think it's because we love our freedom. You see, between the forest in the south and the mountains in the north and the lake in the east there's a huge plain that takes up nearly half of Ametris...Sirtema too. And that's there I live, and that's where I am right now.

Like I said, I'm a human. My name's Kiyrio, and I'm sixteen. I've known I was a chosen since I was little...my mark's on my arm, and it looks like of like a sword from my angle. When I was fourteen there was a huge accident in my town...a house caught on fire right next to mine, and it spread, and I couldn't get out in time...all I remember is crawling into a closet and trying to hide from the smoke, and wishing I could escape...and then the next thing I knew, I was in Sirtema. I can't remember what I did there--couldn't've been too important--but then I left, somehow, and now I'm back.

Dammit.

My mom's from the Inachi line, whatever that is, and she told me I'm a descendant of all the great heroes: Haenir, his daughter Marsol, his son Inachi, a lot of others around there I know from some history book in school, Kilio and Tara, even Kamile and Everan...indirectly of course. They're main line. I'm not.

I think I'm acting really bitter about all this...my apologies. Must be this pain in my stomach...

But I really do hate this country.

(...What the hell is this, the red plague...? Ouch...)

I miss Sirtema.  
PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 10:29 am
...Yeah, Ametris is kinda useless. Isn't it, Everan?  

Kamile.Haenir


Everan.Haenir

PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 10:32 am
...Yep.  
PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 10:37 am
mrgreen  

KirbyVictorious


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 6:49 pm
DAMN YOU ALL AND YOUR INACTIVENESS/TENDENCY TO OVERLOOK MASTERPIECES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! exclaim  
PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 7:38 pm
but i love the world * huggles world *


yeah....but....what????????????

what is this i context of? its hard to get a beat on the setting * rubs eyes *  

NovaKing


The Duchess Grey

Astounding Explorer

PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 8:12 am
Good job, I like it! (even if it was a bit confusing.)  
PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 3:39 pm
It is a little hard to follow, I admit.
I like it, I can't find any flaws in the grammar or spelling, but I honestly have no idea what's going on.
Make more.  

Xahmen
Vice Captain


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 3:03 pm
it's Ametris world.

...

I know.

Sorry.  
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Infinite possibilities-A writer's guild

 
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