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This is a writer's guild where all can gather for feedback and advice on all mediums of writing. Plus it's a great place for conversation. 

Tags: Writing, Writer, Writer's Block, Critiques, Friends 

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The Rose (prose... sorta)

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Am I a b***h?
  Yes.
  No.
  I don't know...
  Gold.
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Gomenroia

PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 9:49 pm
The rose is the perfect symbol.

Of life.
Of love.
Even of death.

It starts out so small and fragile and can be one of the most magnificent of all flowers. The most delicate.

Even the smallest of blossoms are part of the larger bush. Without the smaller flowers beside the larger ones who would notice the magnificence of a well tended bush?

The thorns that many florists strip off to protect the lavished hands of the rich and over protected are one of the most beautiful parts.

They teach you to hold the flower gently, while the bobbing of the blossom reminds you to hold on firmly too.

Without the thorns it's an empty symbol. It's beauty is without any depth of character.

Each colour adds a different depth of meaning to the flower itself.

White for purity.
Yellow for friendship.
And crimson for love.

A dozen crimson roses signifies a deep and profound love for a person.

But why then do you hand me these dozen roses?
You know yellow would be best.
You know that I am not for you.
I've told you this.

You wear your heart in your eyes and look into mine. I know you can see your pain echoed in my eyes. I can feel yours. I do not feel this way towards you, but there have been others.

Too many others.

I have hurt you. And I'm sorry for this.

I could lie to myself.
I could tell you that I care. That the roses were the sign I was waiting for.

But a relationship based on a lie, any lie, is a lie in itself. And I will not do that to myself, let alone others.

You are trying to hold onto something that cannot be held.

Be careful how you tread.

I am a rose too.  
PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 8:22 pm
No comments means one of three things...

It was amazing and left you all speechless (not bloody likely)

It was horrible and left a taste in you eyes that made you go brush your nose hair (lots of sugar in my system tonight so don't ask... but it's got the same result of speechlessness as the first)

OR.... no one is around.....  

Gomenroia


Gomenroia

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 7:24 pm
Two votes for gold.... mine... and one other.... soooooo.....


yer saying.... it sucked?

neutral  
PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 10:22 pm
wow...

nioce write-up for a rose  

sassy_MaiLie


Gomenroia

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 10:38 pm
Thankees ^^  
PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 3:41 pm
It was different. I don't think I've read anything quite like this before. It definitely didn't suck. A bit dramatic, perhaps. And very formal. Sometimes it seemed a bit over-detailed...

Even the smallest of blossoms are part of the larger bush. Without the smaller flowers beside the larger ones who would notice the magnificence of a well tended bush?

The thorns that many florists strip off to protect the lavished hands of the rich and over protected are one of the most beautiful parts.

Like here. Good thought, but check over it and look at word choice. Also, try making those two into one paragraph-thing.

Two thumbs up! 3nodding  

Voxxx


Gomenroia

PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 9:30 pm
It's supposed to be a thought process. When this happened my thoughts basically all went in different directions like:

omg... how in GOD'S name do I deal with this without killing the friendship? Is that possible?

OOH!! Pretty!!

At WORK?! Yeesh.....

(personal fave) ooh... drivethru order....

SO... ya... it was actually supposed to sound fractured. And yes... I work part time in fast food.

Anyhoo... knowing this does it make more sense now?  
PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:53 pm
You might want to make it sound more like a thoughts then observations. Dont forget that while a rose can also symbolize the bold it is never imposing.


I also thought you jumped a little to quickly into the dozen of roses part. Adding a bit of context before may help.

It could definitly use some re-structuring.

All the same, it kept me reading. two thumbs up.  

NovaKing

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Infinite possibilities-A writer's guild

 
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