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"O NOZE, A ATHIETS. MOMMIE, WUT DUE I DUE?"
  "-GET AWAY!"
  "-STOP, DROP AND ROLL"
  "-CALL THE POPE! HE'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO!"
  "-YOU GET THE MATCHES, I'LL GET THE OIL!"
  -*faints*
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freak0592

PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 10:20 pm
User Image

Well, while looking over http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/ , I found this one page which caught my interest. It included things such as "Habu, how many Gods do you have?", and, what caught my eye the most,:

"What to do if you find an Atheist"

Now, They include everything from "Don't talk to them, for they might try to corrupt you", and also, "Why are they always so sad?"

Now, I would first like to say that I am quite happy with my life. Actually, I have been becoming happier with my life as I searched deeper and deeper into the ideas of science and philosophy. So, where ever they got the idea that we are unhappy is beyond me. They are usually unhappier then us; they spend their time trying to please "God", then they do making themselves happy. I mean, who wants happiness?

Next, I love how they tell the kids to avoid us, for we might bring them out of their "righteous" ways. What a load of bull; I know those kids are beyond help, I wouldn't waste my time. Also, it basically says we hate kids...which, in my case, is true...BUT I WOULD NEVER "LASH OUT" AT THEM! I think of myself as a caring individual, and I am offended someone would say something such as that.

Hmm, "advanced witnessing techniques" huh? Well, over the years those techniques have been burning us alive. Remember kids, never play with fire, always ask an adult's help when burning someone alive.

So, in summation, I would like to say they are teaching their kids to:
A) Not accept others and try to convert them at any and all cost.
B) Avoid people because they are different.
C) Never question what you are taught

All and all, it is a good day in the world of Christianity. A few more kids just lost their free thinking...

Any comments? Free-thinkers are loved!!!!
And, remember: "DARWIN heart YOU"  
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 4:39 am
Ah, Objective Ministries... that site's a blatant satire. Don't worry, I thought it was real at first too. But then I saw Dr. Giraffenstein the Creation Scientist.  

Six Billion of Spades

Familiar Phantom


hachimitsugirl

PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 8:13 am
*a-hem, That's a parody website.  
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 2:20 pm
"Advanced witnessing techniques"

rofl

I love that site.  

Super Ivan Drago


Dissnitive Blade

PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:13 pm
"Advanced witnessing techniques"

what could those possibly be?

guy 1 "believe in god"

guy 2 "Sorry I just don't"

guy 1 "You'll go to hell"

guy 2 "I don't believe in hell as I don't believe in religion"

guy 1 "you won't go to heaven where it's happy and fun and stuff..."

guy 2 "please stop"

guy 1 -throws bible at guy-  
PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 6:05 pm
((PRAISE THE LORD, GOD ABOVE!! IT'S NOT REAL!!!! I thought it was (don't laugh...), and was all pissed for a few seconds there XD))

*claps* Right there!!! *points to above topic*!!! That is the number one response I will get...Except the last part might be a water-gun full of holy water instead of a bible...So, here's my version:

((Dramatization. The identities of certain people have been changed for protection...but not really. This is based off real events: Viewer discretion is advised))

Abby's Mom: *takes her seat at the dinner table* Okay, everyone, say grace!

Me: *takes seat* Oh, thanks for inviting me over Mrs. Garner-

Abby's Mom: PRAY!!!! *bows head*

Family: *bows head*

Me:...*sits there, all quiet*

Abby's mom: *looks up* Carly! Why aren't you praying?!

Me:...*sighs* Cause I don't believe in God...

Abby's Mom: SINNER!!! *runs to next room and comes back with holy water* DIE DEMON!!! *throws bottle at me*

Me:...You got your nasty water in my food...nice...

((...Okay, exaggeration....BUT SHE WANT TO!!! TRUST ME!...But they do keep holy water everywhere!))
((NOTE: Abby is my friend who comes from a Super-Christian family...AND HER MOM IS INSANE!!!!!! O.O))

~~~~~~~~~~Off Topic...Kinda~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, yeah! I went to the Museum of Natural History in NYC today...and they have their new exhibit "The Hall of Human Origin". It was originally called "The Hall of Human Evolution", but you can just GUESS what all the religious groups did, so they had to change the name...

ANYWAY! The exhibit wasn't that good, but not too bad (Way to basic thought; any 6th grader probably knows this stuff...), and they had this one section which made me laugh. It was a bunch'a scientists on video talking about how they believe it is important to balance out their scientific lives with religious ones...I was like, "YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! THEY CAN'T EVEN KEEP RELIGION OUT OF EVOLUTION?!"
One of the speakers was one of the people who worked on the "Human Genome Project"(my HEROS), and I wanted to rip my ears off. It hurt to hear him say it!
I highly doubt they actually believed this stuff, but, my guess is, they were having problems with religious groups, and that section keep the exhibit open. That's what my mom and I think anyway. Don't hold me to it...I have been known to jump the gun a bit <<;

Either way, I was pissed that they brought religion into evolution...  

freak0592


Arios V

PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 6:47 pm
I find that laughable. One, I'm actually hundreds of times happier as an Atheist than I ever was as a Christian. Science, Logic and Reason have opened the world up to me and made me happy.

Dr. Giraffenstien made me laugh so hard I nearly fell out of my chair. I mean how freaking stupid do you have to be to believe that bull crap. But apparently, most of them are that stupid...

It must be a proud day in Christianity land knowing that many more children are going to grow up to be a bunch of narrow-minded idiots, hellbent on making life as difficult as possible for those who actually have free wills.


DARWIN FOREVER!!  
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 2:45 pm
Wow...that little comic is pathetic.  

Becka Minato


Dissnitive Blade

PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:02 pm
Becka Minato
Wow...that little comic is pathetic.

It gets worse, in the website....it moves..  
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:41 pm
DARWIN!!!!! WOOOO!
Okay, I'm back!
I was grounded for a week for no apparent reason. crying

LOL! That little skit was so friggin' funny!
 

Dark_lord_15


=X-Sparker + AquaKiller=

PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 9:00 pm
I'm sorry but I'm Atheist and I'm happy. People who are sad all the time is called depression sufferer.  
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 9:11 pm
freak0592
((PRAISE THE LORD, GOD ABOVE!! IT'S NOT REAL!!!! I thought it was (don't laugh...), and was all pissed for a few seconds there XD))

*claps* Right there!!! *points to above topic*!!! That is the number one response I will get...Except the last part might be a water-gun full of holy water instead of a bible...So, here's my version:

((Dramatization. The identities of certain people have been changed for protection...but not really. This is based off real events: Viewer discretion is advised))

Abby's Mom: *takes her seat at the dinner table* Okay, everyone, say grace!

Me: *takes seat* Oh, thanks for inviting me over Mrs. Garner-

Abby's Mom: PRAY!!!! *bows head*

Family: *bows head*

Me:...*sits there, all quiet*

Abby's mom: *looks up* Carly! Why aren't you praying?!

Me:...*sighs* Cause I don't believe in God...

Abby's Mom: SINNER!!! *runs to next room and comes back with holy water* DIE DEMON!!! *throws bottle at me*

Me:...You got your nasty water in my food...nice...

((...Okay, exaggeration....BUT SHE WANT TO!!! TRUST ME!...But they do keep holy water everywhere!))
((NOTE: Abby is my friend who comes from a Super-Christian family...AND HER MOM IS INSANE!!!!!! O.O))

LOLX you send me roflmao

well anywayz i remember when i was younger i go to this aunt's house to have dinner and they're all christians. before dinner they all bow their heads, clutch their hands and say grace. i ask mom what's going on? and my aunt took the answer and say you gotta pray for the food you get, close your eyes and you will see god, say thank you to him. so i also bow my head, clutch my hands and closed my eyes, but i didn't see anything and i ended up nearly falling asleep in the quiet silence. LOLX  

=X-Sparker + AquaKiller=


Prince Rilian

PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 11:52 am
"Why are they always so sad?"

I doubt the person who wrote that has ever met an atheist.  
PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:20 pm
Rilian
"Why are they always so sad?"

I doubt the person who wrote that has ever met an atheist.


I bet so too.  

Arios V


God of lunchboxes

PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:48 pm
Arios V
Rilian
"Why are they always so sad?"

I doubt the person who wrote that has ever met an atheist.


I bet so too.

That site is satire. Look at the ads, one of them was a can of roach spray that says "RELIGION" Kills folks DEAD.  
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