My Poems of Despair

[CaptainRedFox]

Title: Nobody

Nobody cares
Because Nobody Knows
Nobody really Dares
Even though its right under their nose

Hate, Sorrow and Rage
The elements that comprise me
And yet, im just a missing page
Im someone no one wants to see

I feel lost, Hurt, and Forgotten
The one i thought i loved is victim to other men (distance)
So my heart just sits their... Rotten
When will she stab it.. WHEN?

Im just never listened to
Nobody seems to care
thats why nobody knew,
On my head...Their be a giant tear!

So long and forgotten

---------------------------------
In the world where nobody cared

In the world where nobody cared
Nobody knew,
Nobody Dared!

A truth behind all lies
A truth not to be found
A truth with great despise
and yet, the truth, Nowhere to be found

A fight for power
A struggle to survive
A world full of sour
No way to be revived

Cooperation, not in the dictionary,
No light to run
No Priest to be married
No such thing as holy or nun

For this lies in the world where nobody cares
For a truth to be found
Where Hatred comes in pairs
And a lie within ever sound!

The fact of government is merely a myth!
Within every soul, a terrorist exists.
No god to be with
But sorrow and hate in a cloud of dark mist

For the truth is true
But nowhere around
Maybe it's true
For the truth to be found,
Very, very, deep Down.

In the one place no one cares to look
The deepest part of the heart
As it's like the torn out page of an old dirty book
and maybe this is where we start our look!

The truth of how this world was supposed to be
Now we have found it,
and we finally see
How the world was supposed to be

A world that nobody cared.
is now a new,
As we have finally dared,
To start to care,
about our world, That is now a new!

As we are no longer, the world where nobody cared!


I have much more... but not enough room.. if you like then i will post more 4laugh  

[-Isel-]

Your rhythm is botched all to hell.

In the poem "Nobody", most of your lines have 4 iambs, but in the third stanza, the second line has 15 feet in it. 7.5 iambs, not good.

If I'm remembering my iambic rules properly.  

[Blue_Mascara]

The first one does not flow very well. It's choppy.

The last line needs loads of work. It just doesn't fit. It also needs to be edited to spelling and grammar.  

[A Kiss Goodbye]

No offense, but they're pretty... bad. You rhymed "knows" with "nose".