Critique Please?

[KiyoshiKyokai]

This is a picture I did yesterday for a story I'm working on. Any opinions or critiques? Another sketch of the original character (to see her full costume) can be found here: http://darkmagic.theanimearsenal.com/?page_id=17

Thanks for any comments or tips!  

[Enphra]

Sorry to say, but that pose looks very messed up to me; took me a few minutes to realize what I was looking at. :/

The major mistake here is the arm.. I suppose you've tried to foreshorten it but it really just looks like a disproportionate hand. The whole point with foreshortening is that the arm will look shorter due to the perspective and the hand a bit bigger than supposed because it's closer. Your arm is just normal length and you start the perspective at the wrist instead of the whole arm. It also doesn't help much that you've covered up the elbow because drawing the junction of different parts of the limbs overlapped is a great help to make the perspective clear. Try looking at references, in my opinion that's really the best way to understand difficult poses like this.

I'm not really sure about her head, the way she has it turned looks a bit unnatural to me, but I could be wrong. Some other minor details too, but I suggest you work on the general pose first.

 

[KiyoshiKyokai]

I can see what you're saying. You're supposed to be looking very slightly down from behind, but somehow the arm does have some proportion trouble. Having looked at the reference picture I drew this from the pose seems obvious, but I imagine that it doesn't spring to other people like that.

http://downloads.ffshrine.org/art/Guilty_Gear_-_Artbook/guilty_gear_029.jpg this is the picture I referenced when drawing--admittedly its an odd pose.

The original character seems to be more "falling back". I suppose I should go for that feeling more, if I ever try this pose again.  

[Enphra]

Right, didn't have my tablet at hand when I posted that first comment.. made some redlines for you because that usually explains a lot more than just describing.

Link because it got quite big

The top part was made before I saw your ref. It's mainly to point out why your arm looks wonky; the elbow/underarm seems to get a lot thinner at the point where it disappears under the cloak where it would in fact get broader; which suggests the arm looks like a spaghetti.

Bottom part was made when I saw the ref you used. I highlighted the parts which are important for the 'falling backward' idea; which are exactly the parts that are invisible in your drawing because the clothing waves over it. It could be very possible that under that clothing she's standing like that, but it's not the most logical pose to think of, so the mind just sees her standing up because that is more logical and is implied more.

I really hope this was at least somewhat helpful for you. Good to see that you're drawing from refs for difficult poses, but I must admit that this was a really really difficult pose. And one tip: try to draw what you see, not what you think you see. It's very easy to interpret a ref and think 'oh, so it works like this' but I know (from my own experience too) that when you start interpreting it becomes a lot harder to understand. Good luck and keep it up. :]

And sorry if my handwriting is unclear on that pic, you may ask what the ******** I'm talking about if you can't read it. ^_^*

 

[KiyoshiKyokai]

That's extremely helpful. I think I'm going to redraw this picture again from scratch, using your advice. I'm in the middle of exams now, but I'll post it up when I get the chance.  

[Yuki_Hitsugaya_Taichou]

It's very nice looking, the coloring is pretty. But I think the face might be too small. if you tried to fit another eye on there, it wouldn't fit. That's really all I have to say about it. It looks pretty good to me otherwise. ^^  

[KiyoshiKyokai]

Well, I tried it again, but when I looked at the finished product, I was a bit disappointed still. I think this may just not be the right pose for this character. *shrug*

Thanks for your critiques, everyone.