If You Made Your Own Religion...

[ProjectOmicron88]

What would it be like? What god or gods would you create? What would your tenets be? How do you decide who gets the rewards and who gets the screwing-over? What would be your approach to non-believers? How would you say the world was formed, and how would it end?  

[Crooked_Lamb]

If i made a religion huh.......No god of course, im not vain enough to say myself......


but i guess id start almost a cult where the rules state you must read at least a book a week, and discuss it with your "family of cultness" .

We would be well read and kill the stupid people....ok no not kill because perspective of stupidity varies....I was kidding. We would spread the joys of reading.

Other requirements/ (commandments)

1. Failure to watch adult swim will end in series of floggings with pink bunnies

2. Daily cofessions to a dog, or animal must happen

3. Each person must watch aty least four hours of tv shows a day..even if nothing is on.

4. Must eat pocky and ice cream like the Apocalypse is near

5. Everything else is by your own ideas. What ever feels best for you.


Doesn't sound like a relgion...taking out the book thing it just sounds like being a teenager....  

[Crooked_Lamb]

Oh and about who should suffer punishments

People who think Madagascar is just a movie, and have nothing better do do with their lives but make people feel like s**t.  

[Habible]

OOH!
I'd make Bleachism =P
Belief that if you die you go to Soul Society, or Teh Underworld if you murdered people and such (on purpose/had a choice not to but did it anyways), and if you had something anchoring you to earth, if you didn't get it resolved fast enough you'd turn into a hollow and attack the people closest to you/lost spirits, but Shinigami (who live in Soul Society) would come and kill 'em and bring lost spirits to Soul Society.

As long as you weren't a bad person as a human, you'd go to Soul Society.

No penalty for not believing =)  

[Baron von Turkeypants]

Soy un hombre muy honrado,
que me gusta lo mejor

Two words: Lord Yu

Las mujeres no me faltan,
ni el dinero ni el amor

 

[Redem]

The holy church of the way things are.

The 13 good ideas.
1. Though must do something simply for personal amusement once per day.
2. If your brother should slap your face, kick him in the nuts, that'll learn 'im.
3. Keep holy your personal integrity. Nothing else shall be scared to you.
4. Bow your head to no man, unless it's sarcastic.
5. Read stuff, it's good for you.
6. Never stop learning.
7. Take the bastards down with you.
8. Your parents probably love you, don't be a d**k to them.
9. That's a good idea in general, btw, don't be a d**k.
10. Work together please, everyone wins that way.
11. Try not to obsess over things, it's really annoying.
12. Other people are important too.
13. Every screws up, don't beat yourself up over it.


The 5 press releases of god.
1. There are no such things as acts of god. That's just how the world works sometimes.
2. I will not be answering prayers, deal with the real world.
3. I expect you to sort out the bad things yourself.
4. Look after the kids especially, please.
5. See ya after you die wink  

[Ruminating Skeptic]

Habible

OOH!
I'd make Bleachism =P
Belief that if you die you go to Soul Society, or Teh Underworld if you murdered people and such (on purpose/had a choice not to but did it anyways), and if you had something anchoring you to earth, if you didn't get it resolved fast enough you'd turn into a hollow and attack the people closest to you/lost spirits, but Shinigami (who live in Soul Society) would come and kill 'em and bring lost spirits to Soul Society.

As long as you weren't a bad person as a human, you'd go to Soul Society.

No penalty for not believing =)

OMFSM yes; I would so join that XD

If I myself had to make one... it would steal some stuff from Satanism probably.

1)You only get one life, so live it to the fullest.
2)Treat all life to be sacred.
3)Kill only what you need to survive.
4)Fight for your beliefs and values.
5)Women and animals should be treated with respect.
6)If a woman is hurt, all the men in the area should jump to her defence (that's from The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, by Robert A. Heinlein.)
7)Worship your passion. (eg, have a bookcase as an altar if you love reading).
cool If you are mature enough, marry whomever you want.
9)Take responsibility for your own actions.

that's all i can think of at the moment. most of those are rules you should follow in daily life anyway...  

[Xiporah]

I honestly can't say. The only joking thought I gave to it once was a cult-like pamphlet that I wrote up with an ex about 10 years ago that centered around worshipping apes. 'Worship' was done by getting naked, turning on the Discovery channel and howling like a monkey and throwing feces at the TV whenever you saw a monkey/ape of any kind.

The Diety was The Great King Louie and the greatest symbol of it was the round red baboon a**.

...I thought it was hilarious at the time.

In all honesty, if I was charged with the task of makign a religion and religious mythology...I wouldn't.

 

[Kiyrugoji]

1: Give Kiyrugoji your money.
2: ?????
3: PROFIT.

Yeah, that's all I've worked out.  

[CaprinaePsi]

Model for my religion: ******** you and your beliefs, I want some BEEFCAKE. Oh wait, I'm sorry, there's already Christianity, except no beefcake.

Really though, I have no ideas right this instant, but in general, there'd be some basic ideas.

1) Polytheism. What makes monotheism seem much more possible than polytheism? Even if there is only one god-like being in this universe, it can't be the only one in existence (existence referring to other universes as well).

2) No good or evil. Whatever "gods" there are, they're more like forces than actual beings, therefore, they have no moral predisposition. In addition, good and evil itself aren't forces in the universe, simply ideas created by so-called "intelligent" life. What is it to be done, and what is to be shunned, is decided by the society and the persons who live in the society.

3) Logic AND emotion. They will work as one, and not as separate ideas. The god(s) of thought/emotion do not wish to be compartmentalized, so it shall not be done.

4) Acceptance (with reason). Unlike most religions celebrated today, mine would practice true acceptance. They will not just say they do it, they will actually accept different peoples and ideas. As long as senseless pain/violence/chaos is not directly caused by the actions/ideas/etc, then it will be accepted.

Now, what makes the "religions" different from each other are each other's actual mythology. The number of gods, how they interact, what they do, the kinds of creatures, etc, differs by my imagination at the time.  

[Teoka]

Habible

OOH!
I'd make Bleachism =P
Belief that if you die you go to Soul Society, or Teh Underworld if you murdered people and such (on purpose/had a choice not to but did it anyways), and if you had something anchoring you to earth, if you didn't get it resolved fast enough you'd turn into a hollow and attack the people closest to you/lost spirits, but Shinigami (who live in Soul Society) would come and kill 'em and bring lost spirits to Soul Society.

As long as you weren't a bad person as a human, you'd go to Soul Society.

No penalty for not believing =)

But doesn't everyone in the Bleachverse go to Soul Society when they die? Some of them are just nasty people and stay around Rugonkai 3nodding  

[[The Looney Bin]]

The dinosaurs are returning...

It would be called Mannism.

And I would be god.

And everyone would worship me =DDD.

...and they want their oil back.

 

[Dirty Dirty Shisno]

Basically this http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20080111
If you go backwards or forwards you should see much more about the gaming religion and how it works.  

[Tornado_Creator]

ProjectOmicron88

What would it be like? What god or gods would you create? What would your tenets be? How do you decide who gets the rewards and who gets the screwing-over? What would be your approach to non-believers? How would you say the world was formed, and how would it end?

Religion is something I dislike so much I don't think I could form one. I was going to say some clever thing like I would have a God who would send you to hell for believing in him unquestioningly and reward you for being critical however if you believe that the rewards are definitely from God they are taken away somehow.

So yeah... not exactly a religion I know, but I'm all for the ending of religion entirely so...  

[Elanchana]

But how quickly we forget
Such a sure and perfect plan,
And unlearn the passions that once had burned.

Oh, come on, isn't it obvious? The Church of Erik!! =D (If you don't know Phantom of the Opera, poor you.)

Here's some stuff about Erikism from the Phantom Phan Guild:

Black Ayesha

The Ten Commandments of the Fundamentalist Church of Erik

Erik is the Lord your Phantom; you shall not have any other Phantoms besides him without paying due respect to Gaston Leroux's original as well.

Thou shalt not squee over graven images of barely deformed Phantoms without acknowledging that Erik looked like a death's head.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy Erik and ask of it "Who's Erik?"

Remember to keep holy the original novel.

Honour the true origins of thine Erik, who did not grow up in an opera house.

Thou shalt not forget that Erik had quite a few good reasons to kill.

Thou shalt not commit adultery against Erik.

Thou shalt not steal Susan Kay's Phantom from the library, you selfish b*****d.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against Erik by saying any of the other versions are "more accurate" than the original novel.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Phantom collection if they haven't read Leroux.

* * * * *

Remember, Erik loves you - but that doesn't mean he won't send you to burn in eternal hellfire in his mirrored chamber.

Okay, so I know Erikism is a joke, but I still pretend to follow it. I even wear a Phantom mask pin every day and carry my Leroux book around with me in my purse. I'm that much of a phangirl. I have no life. XD

Edit: Andandand! I actually ask the "Angel of Music" to help with concerts and stuff, and they seem to go better when I do. Of course, that is definitely coincidence, but I like phangirling over it anyway.

Editedit: Oh, and the secondary Phantom book by Susan Kay says that Erik is an atheist. ;D

But how could I have seen?
What was I to do?
How could I know I would find you?
-Erik, The Phantom of the Opera, Tom Alonso