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Master Zieke's Poem Portfolio These are the poems i have wrote! please comment on them and help me improve as a writer!


Axyl Orion
Community Member
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4 comments
Into the Depths
This poem is my third and final poem...for now, hehehe... but, i wrote this a few days ago and i think it is pretty good and i did good with my rhymes. I love this poem and i think it is the most fun i've ever had writing. Like always, tell me ur thoughts so i can improve!!

Into the Depths

As I fall,
I think of you.
The way you make
Me feel so blue.
Could you really,
be this mad?
It’s hard to believe,
I could hurt this bad.

As I fall,
I miss you so.
I’m falling so far,
I’m getting so low.
I’m scared to think,
That this could be true.
That I might never,
Be happy with you.

As I fall,
I see your face.
It vexes my mind,
And it begins to race.
I think I will die,
I see the wraith.
It comes for me,
For I have lost faith.

As I fall,
I’m filled with misery.
Your hatred towards me,
Is such a mystery.
I plunge deep,
Into unknown places.
I’m so lost,
But with familiar faces.

I continue to fall,
Into the depths of my heart.
We were great together,
The match was so smart.
It never made it there though.
We were only friends.
I search madly,
For where this pain ends.

Into the depths,
I keep falling.
To me I wish,
I could hear your heart calling.
I hit the ground,
Hurt and shaking.
This feeling is killing me,
As I feel my heart breaking.






User Comments: [4]
Queen_Photo_Fram
Community Member





Mon Jul 16, 2007 @ 08:12am


hey i love your powem it was so good.
hey i sure that i had roret a powem just like that at the sort of the year it neally has the same words neally i just have a cupel difrent my one is called falling in to the depts heart heart heart heart heart heart heart


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Queen_Photo_Fram
Community Member





Mon Jul 16, 2007 @ 08:14am


biggrin hey w2hat was your uthers plz seand me them
biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin


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Queen_Photo_Fram
Community Member





Tue Jul 17, 2007 @ 07:01am


hey babe
i olove that song so plz can u send me your outher 2 becurs it says u have don 2 more so plz repply and if you can give me your outheres they are really good
*KISS* *KISS* *KISS* * KISS* cry cry cry cry cry biggrin biggrin biggrin smile smile smile smile heart heart heart


User Comments: [4]
 
 
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