Before I start the story I'll start with the imagery... and somewhat of an explanation...
I have three grandmothers... one, my dad's mum... died before I was born, the other... my mum's mum... and then there's another... my mum's best friends mum... which is who I am reffering to as my "fake" grandmother although she has served us all as a grandmother far beyond my actual grandmother...
My real grandmother has dark leathery skin a round pudgy body and long coal black hair streaked with grey. Her eyes sunken in and her hands worn down from work. She looks like she belongs in a native american tribe topless, bathing little children, carrying corn on her head or the cover of national geographic.
My other grandmother [the "fake" one] is a small petit woman, with short curly light strawberry blonde hair naturally... she wears big glasses and flowery print skirts. Always smelling of popurri and wearing some knick knack she probably created herself... she's a lot more feminine and so funny.
Anyhow... I went down stairs... I had just showered and gotten dressed but my hair was still in a towel... and the first thing my fake grandma said was... "you look like you lost weight" I was like.. "thank you... I didn't think so... but thanks" and then she was like "so I hear you have a boyfriend" I was like... "uh no... not exaclty.." and she was like... "Oh well ah, just a friend who is a boy then?" and I laughed lightly and said... "yes..." then she says "Does he have a father? hook me up" I made an awkward face and then she laughed and said "I'm just kidding"
My real grandma didn't even say anything to me; but then we were all talking and the two started talking about whores... a girl they knew... or rather another old lady. My real grandmother was like "is she HIV positive?" and then my fake one was like "I wouldn't be surprised!" I laughed under my breath. Then my real grandma goes... "they call her 20/20 you know..." We were all like why? [all meaning my other grandma me and my mum] and she goes "20 mins 20 dollars!!"
 ButtMuffin · Fri Aug 03, 2007 @ 08:45am · 0 Comments |
