 [.::.A Working Class Hero Is Something To Be.::.]
Okay. Every-other-time I said I was in the worst mood of my life, I was lying. Right now, I'M IN THE WORST MOOD OF MY LIFE. People have been snapping at me all day, trying to tell me what I believe in is wrong, what I'm doing is wrong, and just being rude. I've been neglecting my DeviantART lately, and so I checked it last night [I got no sleep last night because I was up all night trying to sleep] at about five in the morning. So I go and check on all my comments and notes, and low-and-behold, I have one from somebody telling me to go '******** myself hard and deep.' I was like, 'What's your problem?' They never replied, though they were online. I blew it off, though I was hurt. That person didn't even know me, but I guess they heard some rumor about me. Everywhere I turn, there's a rumor about lil' ol' me, saying something about how I'm a 'whore' or how I 'cut myself' or how I'm 'anorexic' or 'buliemic.' I'm ******** sick of it all. If I didn't make a promise to Tyler that I wouldn't... do something... I would have done it by now. But I try not to break promises, and since Tyler has passed on, I'm not going to break that one. He means the world to me, and I still love him with all my heart. Anyway, before I get all sentimental about the love of my life, I'm going to continue ranting about the assholes who ruined my day even more. The whole month of August so far has been the absolute worst. I've been crabby, depressed, and virtually silent, and whenever I want to talk to my mom about what's going on, I can't because I can't hold back the tears anymore. So I just listen to my own thoughts, listen to music, and listen to the silence in my room. The only things I do now-a-days are crawl in bed, stare at my ceiling [well, Spiderman III poster], listen to music, trying to sleep, eating [barely anymore], showering, and getting online. I lost my apetite completely, so I've lost a little bit of weight. In addition to all my bad moods, I have major stress-levels because of school starting soon. I mean, come on. A new school [which is huge, mind you], new people, and I only have one class with my friends in it? What the Hell? I have a hard time making new friends [and getting along with people in general], so I'm going to be the 'loner' kid in the class. I have Josh in my B lunch, but he's the 'jock' type, so he'll be playing sports. I don't know anybody else who has my lunch who I get along with [besides Ryan, but he hangs with druggies], so I'm terrified. Gahh. This isn't helping my mood at all. I'm going to wrap it up before I become so depressed I have to get ******** Prozac.
[.::.A Working Class Hero Is Something To Be.::.]
 CaRto0nz · Mon Aug 06, 2007 @ 02:51am · 1 Comments |
