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the world is a confusing place... |
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*She just stared blankly up at the sky, simply laying there in the grass in her pajamas, which she often just wandered around in* The world confuses me...people hurt each other over little issues, and sometimes over important issues, but of which could have been resolved with peace...I wish I could help more people...and make the world a better place, but time keeps leaving...it runs away from me, like water through my sieve-like fingers...I told two very special people, who I also wish to help, something very bad...I never say mean things, but I know my words hurt sometimes, and when I am in a defensive position to help a friend, I know my words cut right through stone and steel...I hope I did not hurt anyone with the little unmentionable fact, especially these two...they are my friends, and one is something greater then a friend, something I still can't understand, but I really feel for...I worry about the fact that I hurt them....I did not want to....but I don't avoid a question if it was asked...and they both asked...so I told....it would hurt my other friends very much if I told them...and I don't want to hurt anyone...not ever...
*She smiled slightly, still just letting her blind gaze wander around* Katchan said something funny many times...she's a bright spot of strength in my day, although I worry for her too....she is one of the greatest people I know of, and a great friend to me...she has a very busy life, but somehow she always finds time to cheer me up if I am down, or speak words of encouragement and happiness to me...she's a good person...Cleio is a good person too, although we drifted apart lately...she often offers words of hope to me...and she's so very wise...and she has a very set goal in life, which finally she is fulfilling...I am so happy for her...I see her, and I can't help but smile out of the fact she is happier now...I still have many, many friends I can't always mention, but I try my best to help them too....my function as the rag-doll...
I met up with someone I had helped before today....they still had a few fond words for me, and a few of thanks...and then they hurried off with their friends...I do help, just slowly...and I was so happy when I saw the girl I once knew, she being happy too....when once she was so sad...I get reminded every once in a while I am not destructive...and I see that I actually helped someone...once more, it's my rag-doll duties...I just wish it did not take as much time as it does to help someone...to actually help them it takes a long time, but there are so many people that need help, and I want to help everyone...time is getting annoying...
Ni said some funny things today too, and of course we traded the normal playful insults at each other...he may be joining my rp soon with Tuyen, and that would be great...I just hope Tuyen posts soon...that rp is also my homework..., besides being one of my favorite activities....I have so many rps to catch up in...I have been so busy reading all the manga and watching all the anime my friends have given me to get to it, not to add about the homework, which is very aggravating, especially in German class...and working on finishing my kimono, getting the drawings I have left to get done finished...my practice in battle staffs to improve my coordination, which need I say it, needs improvement since I still am like a little child...and of course dealing with my family...which give me no ends of pain and aggravation everyday...hence why as soon as I can live away from them, I won't hesitate to get away...I still have to speak to some people, to help, to apologize, to repair, to bring a spot of light to, or simply to learn about and enjoy a person's company...so much to do....I have to keep remembering...even if things are starting to fade...
 DarkRybrin · Tue Oct 19, 2004 @ 02:57am · 2 Comments |
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